The Sex Reimagined Podcast

Leah & Dr. Willow: How Too Many Choices Are Paralyzing Your Love Life - Here's The Fix | #154

• Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown • Season 3 • Episode 154

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Feeling overwhelmed by digital burnout while craving deeper intimacy and community connection? You're not alone in this modern paradox. In this episode of Sex Reimagined, hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown tackles the loneliness epidemic head-on, revealing how our obsession with digital efficiency is actually robbing us of living a more poetic life filled with adventure & deep connection that we so desperately crave.


EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

  • Pattern interrupts: Do something slightly out of the ordinary together
  • Tantric practices: Try Yab Yum (sitting meditation position) for 25 minutes before bed
  • Ditch the phone rides: Ask friends to drive you places instead of using Uber
  • Find your people: Buddhist centers, poetry nights at local venues, fitness buddies
  • Shared experiences: Comedy shows, live music, anything where you laugh/feel together
  • Show up consistently: Pick one community thing and stick with it
  • Complete digital detox days (like Willow did when she couldn't even open her computer)
  • Create device-free zones during meals and before bed
  • Replace scrolling time with offline activities that actually fill you up


LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND HERE ON THE WEBSITE


AWAKENING THE GODDESS IN CRETE! Leah & Willow want to take you on an all-woman's tantric pilgrimage to Greece Oct 5-12, 2025! Join us for a trip of lifetime. 

THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20

LAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. 

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Willow:

What if your life wasn't meant to be managed, but designed like a masterpiece in a world that worships productivity? We've forgotten the Sacred Art of Living. We've traded the wildness for efficiency, beauty for convenience, aliveness for autopilot. But what if your day could feel like a love poem to your soul? What if pleasure, presence, and purpose weren't luxuries? But your actual baseline. In today's episode, we're diving into the artistry of epic living. How to reclaim your life as a sensual, sacred, fully expressed creation. We'll explore the practices, perspectives, and energetic shifts that help you break free from the grind and step into the life that turns you on.

Leah:

Wow, yummy, y'all. My name is Leah Piper. I am with the beautiful Dr. Willow Brown. We are the co-host of the Sex Reimagined podcast.

Willow:

That's right, bitches

Leah:

this is an LX W episode, so you better tune in, turn on,

Willow:

and fall in love with us.

Announcer:

Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame-free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Leah:

Well, I'm just kind of ready to dig into this topic with you. Um, there's been a lot on my mind. I think part of this is coming from being in the day to day, a little bored, a little sick of the routine. I am a wander lust. I am, uh, I don't know. Sometimes I think, oh, it's, it's because I've been in a long-term relationship for so long or it's'cause we're at a standstill'cause Matt's got these surgeries he has to do and so life has just gotten smaller and now I'm getting older. So everything's been affected by perimenopause and going like, uh, I'm, I'm entering middle age. That means half my life has been lived and now I've got this other half and I better make it count. And so when I look at like the news and what's happening in social media and in our lives, I'm like, technology is so, it's so front and center. I'm so sick to death of the technology conversation. Um. I'm so sick of algorithms and I feel hungry for like the poetry of life. I feel like if we, I'm a little nervous about the future. I'm a little nervous about future generations. It's like everything is so technology based that I feel like we're getting isolated and our worlds are getting smaller and we're forgetting about like, oh wait, no, I wanna live the poetry of life. I don't wanna live the technology of life, but, it's not either or is it? I don't need it to be either or. I want it to be an and, but I'm afraid we're gonna lose the art of life and the love of life and the connection between others with all this technology mayhem.

Willow:

Oh my gosh, I can relate. I had to do a digital detox yesterday and missed some appointments because of it, you know, just like couldn't catch it all. And I think it's really important to, um, maintain a balance for yourself. I mean, the, the world is gonna go where the world's gonna go, and AI is definitely taking us in a whole new direction, especially in regards to sexuality. And, um, I think we have to kind of like keep dropping back into our own nervous systems and finding that place inside of ourselves where we can, um, you know, becoming too. The coming back to the computer or back to the phone or back to technology with energy, if we're coming to it drained, we're just gonna get more drained. So it's really important, I think, to do digital detox days or hours at a time if possible.

Leah:

Yes, and look at what all of this technology's been aiming to do for the last, you know, decade or more, is it's to make life easier. It's to save us time. It's all about saving us time and being more efficient, efficiency, time saving, efficiency. Time saving, do more, get more done, be more successful. You know, like, hum many things you knock off on your list today. So it's, it's kind of a paradox because on the one hand it's exhausting. On the other hand, it's a job is to give you more freedom. And this is where I was listening to Esther Perel, um, today, and, and one of the things that she said that really struck me was like, we've never been more free

Willow:

Ahuh.

Leah:

and in the freedom we've never been so alone.

Willow:

Right, because it's,

Leah:

there's so many decisions to make in the freedom where before when you have less freedom, some decisions are being made for you,

Willow:

right.

Leah:

and those are

Willow:

gonna go, yeah, it's either you're. Yeah, you're either gonna go left or right, and now it's like you could go up, down, left, right, front, back, side to side. And it is, um, creating a lot of, uh, I think the, the level of freedom that you're talking about, where it's like we have so many choices. If we look at the dating app world, it's like, oh, I, I didn't like the way that person drove, or I didn't like the way that person sipped their wine or whatever. These tiny little things that you don't dig deeper with people where it's so easy to just swipe onto the next person and move on to the next date. right now we're seeing this, you know, this current generation of, of young people who are not having the same social interactions. They're not having the same sexual encounters that, you know, we were having when we were their age, because there is, they don't know how to relate. Like they've been relating to a screen.

Leah:

I think it might be different than that. I think it's that they're indifferent. Maybe that's because they don't know how to relate. But is that, I really wonder if that's true. Is it really that it's'cause they dunno how to relate? Or is it just that they were just raised differently? I mean, you and I weren't raised with computers or even high-speed internet. You know, remember dial up.

Willow:

Right.

Leah:

remember call waiting

Willow:

I remember flip phones. Yeah.

Leah:

And wired telephones. Like we had, we had these giant long, um, lines of telephone wire so that

Willow:

curly wire.

Leah:

into the dining room or into the living room or into the kitchen.

Willow:

Totally. Yeah. It's just a different way of being raised in a different world and yeah, I do think that that freedom that we have now of like so many options and so many choices and so many different directions that we could choose to go kind of freezes a lot of people up. You know, I've definitely been there where I'm like, fuck, I just can't decide. I, you know, you get to this point of decision fatigue where you're just exhausted from trying to decide which way to put your energy. And um. I was talking with, uh, who's that? I was at a party the other night and I was talking to someone about our summit that we just did recently, and I was like, oh my God, the information was amazing. Like, you know, there was all these different speakers speaking about how to have harder cocks, you know, in the morning and how to, you know, it female sexual psychology and also the astrology of sexuality and just like kind. And she was like, wow, wow. That all sounds so fascinating. And a little bit of an older woman, she's like, and I just, there's so much information out there right now, you know, I could just see the overwhelm in her eyes, just hearing about it. Much less like signing on, logging on and actually watching it, you know?

Leah:

Yeah. You know something even just like beyond sex, but like connections with community and friends. Like before Uber, you asked your friends to take you to the airport. You know, it's like taxis were kind of expensive in a luxury. So it was like you relied on your neighbors, you relied on a good friend or a family member to say, Hey, I need a ride to the airport. Now. Everyone's like, I can't be bothered to take you to the airport. You know, just get a fucking Uber. And I'm like, there's a part of it that's like, that's so fucked up. So even, even if you are like, oh God, I don't wanna do this friend a favor. You end up getting in the car. You pick up your friend, you ride'em to the airport, you end up having a really cool conversation and you, you leave the airport feeling

Willow:

Feeling good?

Leah:

your friend more,

Willow:

totally.

Leah:

you're not disappointed. You spent that. 45 minutes or maybe two hours or however long it takes to drop somebody you care about off at the airport. You feel nourished by that fucking car ride. And I just think, I think these are the things we actually have to like take a pause and go, we in this rush to save time. To not be inconvenienced. We are robbing ourselves of connection. We're robbing ourselves of community, and we are, our lives are getting kind of smaller and lonelier even if we live with people.

Willow:

Right.

Leah:

And I'm a little discouraged by that. It's like, I wanna, I wanted to talk about this'cause I'm like, you guys, let's wake up. Let's, let's recenter, uh, let's not lose touch with what gives our lives, meaning, connection, and purpose. And we're about to head into a crazy future where a lot of that stuff is gonna be done without our input. We've got so many industries that are gonna be, um, operated by ai,'cause AI's gonna do it better. I mean, look at copywriting right now.

Willow:

Right.

Leah:

You know, writing books, I mean, people are gonna have an idea and then they just spout it into ai and then AI's gonna write it a thousand times better than they ever could.

Willow:

Totally.

Leah:

Hopefully we'll still buy those books and read them. I don't know. Um, photography's about to go, uh, out the window. Hopefully not artistic photography.

Willow:

Right.

Leah:

but I mean, all the video stuff, the way they do movies, everything's gonna change. And I'm a big believer in change. I'm not one of those people that hates change. I really embrace change. Um,

Willow:

We just need to, we need to slow ourselves down through the change because the change is not gonna go slow. Right. It's already is not going slow. It's going very fast. And so we have to, um, take responsibility for our own pacing through it all. And, uh, listen, this is where, you know, this is where these ancient Tantric practices come into very handy is like, we're, you know, you and I are so adept at listening. To our nervous assistance and listening to our bodies and listening to the moment. And so many of our listeners are great at listening too, you know? And so, um, I think that's, that's the thing that you have to do. Like yesterday, I was like, I just cannot open my computer. Like it's just not gonna happen. I'm just gonna take the whole day off. I'm not gonna open it at all. And I felt so much better, so much more renewed. I came, I was like, ready to go today. You know? And so sometimes it, it doesn't have to take a lot to find the balance. It just requires focus and connection. Just like sexuality, like just like, you know, turning on new levels of arousal. It doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to take a lot. It just requires focus and attention.

Leah:

You know, Matt and I did something fun this weekend, and it's probably gonna sound so boring. Um, but, uh, I don't know. My mother-in-law was visiting and she ended up pulling off on some suburb of Sacramento, um, and she was like, oh, this place is really cute. You guys should check it out. So we drove 30 minutes away.

Willow:

Mm-hmm.

Leah:

To a suburb of Sacramento. We drove around the little town. We started feeling a little peckish. So I was in the mood for Indian, so I searched for Indian. It was five minutes away,

Willow:

Nice.

Leah:

we just checked out this little town, you know, and we listened to a podcast. We had interesting conversation as a result of the podcast. We had a nice dinner and we just took a around and said, oh look, that new subdivision, I don't like that one. It's got, the trees are all young, but I love that old girl subdivision. That's where I would wanna live, you know? And, and then last night we sat down and did some Yab Yum. knows what that is. It's a type of, um, it's a, it's Tantric love making position or a meditation position. You don't have to have sex for this position, but you're sitting in a stride. Um, come to one of our classes, we'll teach you all about it. And, um, and it was just so sweet, you know, and we just sat there and he was like nibbling on my neck and I'm giggling and um, you know, he is kind of rubbing my yoni. I've got panties on. He doesn't like go in or anything, but like, I reached so many fun, joyous states of just connection and pleasure and kind of silliness. And I just, and I knew that that happened because we did this little subdivision tour, other town, you know, it was like doing something new, created it, a little bit of closeness, and we didn't just spend a lot of money to just drive down to another subdivision to take a peek.

Willow:

Exactly, and I think it's gay and Katie Hendricks, who's who talk about the pattern interrupt. Like, not, not just like the, the big life pattern interrupt, like go on a vacation, but you know, throughout the day, like, do something out of the norm, like sleep on the other side of the bed or, or walk down the hallway differently or, you know, um, instead of like. Pecking your, your partner when you walk through the door, you know, give them a big juicy hug and a giant kiss, you know, or just whatever. Just changing it up. It's, we, it's so easy to get into routine, especially in relationships and especially around sexuality that, you know, it's sometimes having those, those adventures like you guys had yesterday can like totally shift the dynamic in the home space too, which I think is so great.

Leah:

Yeah, and it was really interesting to do something just simple but out of the ordinary. And then the next day that led to more connection, more presence. Him and I both love to like go to bed and read a book, you know? Um, but guess what? We still went to bed and read the book, but we added, you know, 25 minutes of just really being with each other and look into each other's eyes and laughing and giggling and pleasuring. And it didn't lead to anything other than, God, I fucking love you. I'm so grateful. You're in my life. We need more of this. And we really talked about how important having something new is to like refresh our connection because we just get in the habit of just doing the same old thing. And um so I look forward to seeing what we're gonna do today. That's a little new. And I think for us, we needed something that's a little more time consuming than just let me greet you at the door with a kiss, because that's also turned into a habit,

Willow:

Right,

Leah:

you

Willow:

Anything that turns into a habit, you need something else. Right. You need something different. Yeah.

Leah:

And that's kind of what I mean by like leaning into the poetry of life. I think like when we go out and we engage, whether that's just with our partner, but hopefully like I want this to be, I want to expand this outside of just sexual relationships. Like I know that I need to start engaging in a more intentional way with community at large. I think sometimes I resist that. I don't know why. It feels like another thing I have to be responsible for. And I think that's where the mindset shift has to be in place. Like, um, Esther was talking about like, people need to come over those people you love to sing. You know, I have heard you, when you go and go to like a singing event, like a kurtan or something, you come back nourished, replenished probably in a way that's even more significant than if you were just singing at home by yourself.

Willow:

Way more.

Leah:

And I feel that way about going to a comedy show,

Willow:

Yeah. Great.

Leah:

get to like laugh with other people and we're all having an interconnected experience, which means we're listening to someone on stage, share something and we're all experiencing the consequence of what they're sharing through laughter. You know, so there's an interconnected play that's happening, um, and it doesn't require us to have a conversation, but we're still having a shared experience.

Willow:

Right, exactly. Yeah. Community. I mean, think about how like long before screens and cell phones and Instagram, what did we do? We sat around the fire and we sang together, or we laughed together, or we danced together. Like we were always in, in community. We were always in interaction with each other. We're tribal people. We're a tribal culture. Now, currently living in boxes, driving in boxes, and talking to each other through little handheld boxes, you know, we're, we're all boxed up. And

Leah:

right.

Willow:

it's really like, yeah, it's very isolating and it's, it's, it's not our natural state and so it takes a toll on our bodies. It takes a toll on our nervous system. And, um, that's why it's so important that we get out into nature every day that we do something different, that we get into community, that we laugh with other people, we cry with other people. We just like connect and touch people who are not our partner. Even, you know, even if you're like in a, in a partnership and you're getting some touch at home, it's still so good to go cuddle with a girlfriend, you know, at a, on the couch at her house or at a kurtan party thing or

Leah:

Well, I mean even like back in the day when we were growing up, like, what was on television, you know, like you sat down and you watched the show regardless of whether you were interested in the show, your family was watching the show. So you watch the show, you could've been bored, you know, but you, you hung out. That's what there was to do. There weren't all these thousands of options on our phones where we end up isolating ourselves from the other people in the room and we're having this solo experience of entertainment instead of having a shared experience of entertainment. And I think we're losing something as a result of like, you know, we basically have computers in our pocket. And I'm not gonna stop using the computer

Willow:

Of

Leah:

You know what I mean? I'm

Willow:

not what this is about.

Leah:

that. Um, but it's about how can we just start turning towards, on either side of us and notice like what is there. And one of the things I've been doing is, um, I've been going to this, uh, Buddhist center here locally and on Wednesdays and Thursday nights. Wednesday nights is a refuge night. And those. Those are people who are, um, working with addiction. I actually really love those. I'm not really battling with any big addictions or anything, but I'm actually really enjoying those evenings quite a bit. Um, there's a shared experience of struggle and I can relate to that even if I'm not in like,

Willow:

You had addictions in the past. Yeah. So you

Leah:

thousand. Yeah. And I will probably have more in the future that come and go depending on what I'm trying to run away from.

Willow:

Right, right,

Leah:

But, uh, you know, they do this little reading. Um, there was this one woman the other night who opened it up after 20 minutes of meditation and she just shared her story of her path with meditation and she, she lived in Santa Cruz the same time I lived in Santa Cruz. She went to the, um, insight Santa Cruz, which is the Buddhist community there when we did. So our paths were probably parallel and it was just lovely to hear her journey as someone just sharing their life, a stranger sharing her life. And I had seen her every time I'd gone. So it was wonderful to like listen to her speak for 25 minutes about her journey. And we all felt like we knew her after her share, you know, and it was, now it's just gonna be even more comfortable when I walk in the room and I say hi to her. Um, so there's something community

Willow:

Community people. More community.

Leah:

and there's something to be said about community that's in person.

Willow:

Absolutely

Leah:

know, I think, I think the reason why this feels so critical for me at this time in my life is since moving to California, um, what, 16 years now? Um, from Oregon. I never have had since living here, like a super core group of homey friends. Every other iteration wherever I've lived in the past, I always had my

Willow:

that.

Leah:

Now everyone is dispersed.

Willow:

Right,

Leah:

So I'm in connection, but not like in person. You know, you and I visit with each other almost every day, but we're not in the same town. We're not running the errands to homegoods.

Willow:

I wish we were, because yesterday I had to go shopping and I was like, fuck, I wish Leah was here. And I had like three girlfriends. I was like, I wish this girlfriend, that girlfriend, and

Leah:

Well, I was

Willow:

go shopping with me. I know you did help me. Actually, I got some really cute outfits I gotta show

Leah:

Oh, great.

Willow:

video shoot. But, um, anyway, I, yeah, it's just, I know it's hard being in a, in a new place without your girlfriends. Uh, I think you should move to Santa Barbara.

Leah:

Yeah, I know. I've been thinking about like, what would it be like to downsize and have spend less money and do more other things, more experiential things instead of having things, having experiences. That's another thing I'm. On my mind. So I'm really curious from our audience, like

Willow:

What are some

Leah:

do you guys

Willow:

you like to do? Yeah. Tell us In the, in the comments.

Leah:

And like what are you worried about as AI takes over our life and how do you manage decision fatigue? Because decision fatigue is our real thing.

Willow:

Yeah.

Leah:

Um, and. How can we slow down and invite more connection? Because someone's gonna have to lead this. And if you're listening, I'm inviting you to lead it. I'm inviting myself to lead it because waiting around for someone else to tell us how to do this, we're, we're gonna be in a worse off place if we're waiting someone else to solve this problem of, you know, loneliness versus connection.

Willow:

Well, let's talk too a little bit about how do you think that this, you know, um, very fast-paced digital world is, uh, depleting people's, um, relationship to their own sexuality and their curiosity about exploring it with others?

Leah:

I think the big thing is we're getting numbed out. So we're losing touch with being sort of in our emotional body, which is where con that's why connection feels so good is'cause it actually brings you into your emotional body. It, it gives you a feeling of wellbeing

Willow:

like medicine,

Leah:

and sometimes we're like, sometimes we shun emotions as if like they're the bad thing when, so the alternative is like, what? So we're just like gonna numb out and not feel anything at all. Um, I think emotion is what brings the variety and the juice to life. And let's not run away from that. Let's actually be really, really present to that and let's seek out feeling great with other people. You know, I,

Willow:

Hallelujah.

Leah:

I'm, I'm working out with a girlfriend and with a personal trainer and I'm like, so glad we're doing

Willow:

Oh, that's fun.

Leah:

Yeah, and I'm getting, I can feel myself getting stronger. I, and not that I feel like someone's pushing me, but she's inspiring me to like, increase my weight and increase my reps, my reps. And so like every week I'm, I'm staying at the gym longer when I'm working out on my own. Um, and like, so I can, so I feel this sense of vi vibrancy and like resilience and, you know, you and I just kind of have gone through sort of a stressful period, uh, with business, um, launches and stuff like that. And, and I feel like I'm starting, like, I'm like, oh, I need an attitude change around all of this. I'm sick of feeling like these things are a burden versus something to be completely inspired about like, I can't wait to be live with people. Like I can't wait for this trip to Greece. And the people who are coming are like the absolute right people for this experience, and we're gonna go so deep with them and I'm gonna feel a part of myself that maybe I haven't been in touch with and I can't wait to touch that part of myself again. And I know I will, because the perfect people are registered and um, and there's gonna be even more people who register. And so if you feel the call Yeah, I'm talking to you baby.

Willow:

Come to Greece. I'm so excited. Yeah. In fact, I was, um, I've been studying Greek mythology. We both have in different ways. You're listening to a book and I'm watching this really cool series on, I don't know where I found it on Amazon or something. But anyway, it's just, it's really, you know, speaking of getting back to poetry and getting back to like the, the Song of Life and the art of living The art of life, you know, like the Greeks, man, they were, they were all about it. And the, the stories of

Leah:

they were all about sex

Willow:

They were all about sex. Yeah. They really were. They really weren't holding back on that shit. It was great. And so it's just so cool to like, you know, see like how the ancient cultures and to bring some of that into our modern culture. Like we can bring, and that's, you know, that's what we do is we bring this, these ancient sexual, sacred sexual techniques to modern day people. But you know, we can also bring so much more of, of what sensuality and what sexuality is. I mean, eating an orange could be the most sensual thing you do that day if you open yourself up to that. Right? I know Leah loves oranges. You know what she does? She puts them in the refrigerator so that the skin gets hard around them, and then, and then she eats them and they like crunch. Yeah, that is quite good.

Leah:

yeah. Um, you know, it's interesting back to poetry because I'm actually, I don't really love poetry as like an actual thing. Um, but I love the art of life and I love the meaning of what poetry is. But, you know, funny enough, um, I went to the local dungeon here in Sacramento called The Battery. And it was great. I've been meaning to kind of check it out and they had a poetry night and that was what we were attending.'cause I was supporting a new friend and she was putting it on and oh God, she had a great name. Um, it'll probably come back to me. It was wonderful. It was lovely listening to people's raunchy poetry and even like, and the one person, um, read, uh, some famous author who I think wrote some famous book from my, from

Willow:

some famous time.

Leah:

ago, know, um, I think he was an Irish, an Irish bloke. And, um,

Willow:

Probably

Leah:

anyways, so him and his wife were, would, would write these dirty letters to each

Willow:

Oh,

Leah:

she wrote one of, she read one of the dirty letters. It was my favorite reading of the night. It

Willow:

oh. That's

Leah:

So like you didn't have to read your own poetry, you could read anything. Yeah. The naughtier the better. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'll definitely go back and I'll prepare something, you know, like another reason to like be in community and play with artistic expression.

Willow:

and write a poem. I used to write poems all the time. I had

Leah:

You seem like the poet type for

Willow:

of poetry. By the time I got outta high

Leah:

Look at you're a good poet.

Willow:

It was a great

Leah:

Yeah.

Willow:

I am a great poet. I just haven't written any in so long. But yeah, it would be good. It would be fun for me to do that Again, I used to be very artistic too. I would like make little paintings around my poems and things. I mean,

Leah:

Well, this is where I think this is a very interesting phenomenon because this is where people would go to church. And there would be an outlet. People come together, there's an interconnected experience. You, every weekend you could look forward to it. You would catch up with your neighbors and you took time out it. And it's not like it produced a giant result. It was like, yeah, you prayed together. You might have sing together. You might, you know, and so, and we don't have that so much. I mean, religion has, the statistics are dropping down every single year. People aren't called to that the way they used to be, but we're missing something by missing that. So I think for us to still have a place to gather and be in a group without like this giant purpose, like it's gonna produce a giant result, it's just, it's kind of like. You come together and you go to the park and you just watch the kids play, or you eat a picnic.

Willow:

Right.

Leah:

it's not producing a result or achieving a goal. But I think what it does is it allows us to come together and maybe dream together.

Willow:

Totally. Which totally enhances your, your sensuality and your sexuality. It like stimulates places in your brain that stimulate places in your body that you want stimulated.

Leah:

Well, yeah, it increases wellbeing and when you feel good, you

Willow:

so crucial.

Leah:

you know, maybe get your body next to somebody else's body and feel even better.

Willow:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, dance is a really beautiful way to get into your body and to be in community. You know, they have all these, um, like ecstatic dances all over Santa Barbara, and I've gone to some of them. Um, and it's just fun to like, see people be in their fullest expression, you know? And, and like that, I think that's one of the things that we love about the arts is it's like. It's so inspiring because it's like that's somebody's expression, like that's what's in somebody's heart. And I think we get kind of stuck on like, well, there's gotta be a right way to do that. There's gotta be a right way to express. I don't know if I'm doing it right. I don't know if I could get up and speak my poem to the group at the dungeon. You know, I don't know if I could get on the dance floor and move my body in the way that feels right for me. I don't, am I doing it right? And, and so anyway. That kind of came through for me last night. I was having a very deep journey and, um, and I was, I was just surrendering to the, the way that it was, rather than the, any kind of constructs around the way that I thought it should

Leah:

Mm-hmm.

Willow:

you know? And I think that

Leah:

Good point.

Willow:

One of the big things that holds us all back, especially the youth, the younger generation, it's like, you know, there's so much doubt and uncertainty and like what, what is right Anyway, in this world today with like all the crazy mega changes that we're going through, you know. The whole concept of right and wrong, that's why this like, you know, dualistic like this or that right or wrong, left or right is kind of a prison to our, our our expression and our truest essence.

Leah:

Yeah, well said. Um, you know, there was something, uh, Esther Perel spoke about it, and she was talking about her parents who were Holocaust survivors, and both of her parents lost every single member of their, of their family. They were the only ones that survived. And in this village that she lived in, in Belgium, it was basically a community of Holocaust survivors. And she said there were two types. There were those who did not die, and then there were those who, um like lived with a vengeance because they survived. They didn't die, they survived, and by God they were gonna make this life count.

Willow:

They're gonna live. Yeah,

Leah:

she goes, I feel very grateful that my parents. She goes, you go over to your friend's parents and you could tell which ones just didn't die versus which ones were like, I am gonna live. Yes, I am gonna live with everything I've got'cause

Willow:

God, that's deep.

Leah:

so deep and I

Willow:

fascinating. That her

Leah:

right to live with a vengeance. And I don't even know if that was the exact quote. It might've been even something like, I'm gonna have fun with a vengeance or something like

Willow:

probably live

Leah:

yeah, yeah. Yeah. Something about like using those, that language together that may be like, yes, I want that too. I want the next 40 years I have on this planet hopefully to be filled with life, not just, um, humdrum. Here we go. I where, where I'm spending my days going, God, I wish I didn't have to do that. God, I wish I didn't have to do that. God, I wish I didn't have to go to this appointment. God, I wish I didn't have to have this phone call. God, I wish, da, da, da, da, da da. So I could just sit around it instead, I want, I get to be on this phone call. I get to have this appointment. I get to sit in my backyard, um, and, and enjoy it all, you know, live it all. God,

Willow:

Guess what? I'm

Leah:

needed that wake up call. I.

Willow:

Guess what I'm gonna get to do this morning? I went and checked out this, um, place that I'm gonna stay in September, which is on this property. Okay, here, here's a little fun story, example of, you know, changing your perspective and calling in the magic. So one morning I woke up in my, you know, Santa Barbara beautiful house, the most beautiful house I've ever lived in. However, I live with a total cuckoo bird and we

Leah:

A monster. I think we, I think cuckoo birds might even be nicer than this person.

Willow:

She's a monster. So we're both, you know, moving out at the end of August. Hallelujah. Thank God. And so I have to find a place to live for just the month of September, because then I'm going to Europe for like six weeks, right? So I don't wanna just rent another place right away. So I've, I was like, woke up with that kind of heavy feeling of what you're talking about, humdrum. Here we go. What's gonna, how am I gonna find, what am I gonna look for? You know, I got so much on my plate, plus now finding a place and moving. And so I take river for a walk on the beach and it's super early in the morning it and there's this waterway, you have to walk through the waterway to get to a certain side of the beach, which I generally don't walk through'cause I don't like to get my feet wet and cold and sandy. So, but this morning I was like, okay, no, I'm gonna do it. Getting cold, wet, sandy feet. Here we go, walked through and I went down to the side of the beach that I love and I walked down to the very end and nobody's on the beach. Perfect, glorious Santa Barbara morning. I get to the end and, and as I'm walking this whole time, I'm like, okay, I need some magic today. And, and I know from all the Joe Dispenza work that I've done, like, if you want magic, you gotta be the magic baby. So I was like, okay, here I go. I'm do all my practices and I'm walking and I'm pulling the magic up. And I know how to be the magic. I'm gonna be the magic by the time I get to the end of this beach where there is not a single soul on the beach, this woman comes out of the rocks, like literally appears out of the rocks, right? And so then we strike up a conversation and I'm like, I'm just gonna ask her, Hey, do you know anywhere to rent around here? Turns out they're, they're building like a tiny home on their property, which is right there on the cliffs, on my favorite beach of all time. And so I'm probably gonna move into their tiny home once it's built and done and ready. Um, but they're still building it. But today I went over, I'm like, and she's like, you could stay in our, our, our motor home. It's super nice in the month of September. So I went and looked at the motor home. Today I am like, it is so cute. It's just adorable. It has a little fire pit outside, little two chairs. It's right on the beach. And like, we literally walk like, don't even get in the car. Now we're just on the beach.

Leah:

wow.

Willow:

I went and saw that today. So like, it's just such a testament to we can create our own magic. Here's an, you know, here's another inspir inspirational story. I just got off a, a call with a couple, they've been together for 32 years. They, they came from our summit. The Leah's gonna talk to them later this week, 32 years. They've got kids. They are in a whole new marriage, having the best sex of their life. They're in their sixties and they're just, he was so cute. He's like, yeah, I finally found my woman after like 30 years. You know, it's just such a testament to like the perspective shift that is possible when we just do it,

Leah:

Right. God, that is so inspiring. Yeah. Well, so you might be asking yourself, what does this conversation have to do with re-imagining sex?

Willow:

All kinds.

Leah:

All kinds. All kinds, because sex weaves into everything

Willow:

Hmm.

Leah:

and how we look at our neighbors, I think can improve our sex life. How we look at the food that we eat, I think can improve our sex life. How much exercise we get each week, it can improve our sex life. The kinds of conversations we have with our neighbors can improve our sex life because it improves our mindset. It improves how we look at ourselves and the world and how we wanna be connected to it. And when we feel connected to life and to the universe, and to the world and to our communities, we have an ability to connect to our partner on a profound and deeper level because we're showing up. If we can show up out there in a strong way, then who we get to be and our most important relationships, um, ends up being limitless.

Willow:

Yeah, absolutely.

Leah:

So. Yeah,

Willow:

to be.

Leah:

I'm looking forward to greeting my husband with more of myself so that he gets to be with Leah, um, hopefully more and more each day in this coming year that's less like whiny and complaining about all the things she has to do. You know, he's, I think we're both gonna enjoy the version of her, this

Willow:

I, I think so. I'm excited for her too.

Leah:

Yeah, so hopefully that inspires all of you out there. Remember that we love having this conversation offline. You know, we love having this conversation in these little, um, chat threads and, um, we hope that if you enjoyed this conversation, that you share this episode with someone else who might enjoy it.

Willow:

Yeah, absolutely. And do let us know in the comments what you are doing to build community, what you are doing to create more poetry and more connection and more artistry in your life, because that's gonna inspire not only us, but everyone else who's tuning in as well.

Leah:

Yeah. Okay. Love, love, love.

Announcer:

Thanks for tuning in. This episode was hosted by Tantric Sex Master Coach and positive psychology facilitator, Leah Piper, as well as by Chinese and Functional Medicine doctor and Taoist Taxology teacher, Dr. Willow Brown. Don't forget your comments, like subscribes and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.

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Dr. Willow Brown

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Leah Piper

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