The Sex Reimagined Podcast

Layla Martin: Energy Phenomenon - What Really Happens When Life Force Moves Through You | #147

• Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown • Season 3 • Episode 147

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What do you get when you combine a Stanford neurobiology background with shamanic arts, sex magic, and thousands of years of Tantric wisdom? You get Layla Martin - the global Tantra leader who's literally rewriting the rules on sexual healing. As founder and creator of the VITA Coaching certification, Layla has guided thousands of women from sexual trauma to sacred empowerment. But here's what makes her story so powerful: she didn't start as some naturally enlightened goddess. She started as a terrified teenager who was so disconnected from her body that she showered in a bathing suit and prayed every night to never become a woman. Her journey from childhood sexual abuse to becoming one of the world's most respected sacred sexuality teachers isn't just inspiring - it's a roadmap for anyone who's ever felt broken by their past.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

  • From Trauma to Tantra Teacher: How Layla transformed from a teenager so terrified of her body she showered in a bathing suit to becoming a global leader in sacred sexuality and healing thousands worldwide


  • The 7-Day Manifestation Ritual That Works: Layla's powerful combination of morning grief rituals + evening sex magic that called in her life partner (plus the neuroscience of why this method is so effective)


  • Sacred Sexuality as Spiritual Practice: Why "your body is just as sacred as prayer" and how ancient traditions used erotic energy as a direct pathway to divine connection before religious suppression


  • Real Talk on Healing Timelines: The honest truth that deep sexual trauma healing takes 5-10+ years, and why Layla still has breakthrough moments after decades of this work


  • Somatic Trauma Release Techniques: How to identify where trauma lives in your nervous system through body scanning, and why energy phenomena like shaking and speaking in tongues are natural sacred responses


  • Breaking the "Specialness Trap": How the desperate need to feel worthy and special can actually block spiritual growth, and why true power comes from knowing you're already enough exactly as you are


LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN LAYLA'S EPISODE CAN BE FOUND HERE


The Power of Pleasure, A Free Summit July 23-24, 2025. This 2-day live event will feature trailblazers in the field of conscious sexuality. Join us for FREE! 

AWAKENING THE GODDESS IN CRETE! Leah & Willow want to take you on an all-woman's tantric pilgrimage to Greece Oct 5-12, 2025! Join us for a trip of lifetime. 

LAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. 

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Willow:

Welcome everyone to the Sex Reimagined podcast. I'm Dr. Willow Brown. I'm here with my amazing co-host, Leah Piper, What if your deepest desires were the path, not the problem. Today's guest, Layla Martin says that your pleasure is holy. Your sexuality is sacred, and your turn on could be the most potent spiritual practice you've been avoiding. She is a global leader in Tantra, founder of the Tantra Institute and integrated sexuality, She has trained in everything from neuroscience to shamanic arts and sex magic.

Leah:

You know, you guys, if you haven't heard of Layla Martin, by now, are you living under a rock? I mean, her videos are all over the place. Facebook, YouTube, you name it. So this is the interview you've been waiting for. So tune in, baby turn on, and fall in love with Layla Martin.

Announcer:

Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame-free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Willow:

We are so thrilled to have you today with us, Layla. So welcome.

Layla:

Oh, amazing. I'm sorry to be here.

Willow:

Thanks for being with us today. For our audience who may not have met you yet, what got you into doing this work? I know that you had sort of, you know, more challenging childhood and, and so much of your healing and sexual exploration has really brought you to where you're at today. It's really remarkable. So give us a little 1 0 1 on

Leah:

What's the genesis story Layla?

Layla:

A combination of religious trauma, sexual trauma, personal interest, and feminist outrage. Um, so

Leah:

Sounds about right.

Layla:

I, yes. Um, yeah, I, uh, had a challenging childhood. My mom, uh, and my biological father, uh, my mom was very young when she had me, and she was taking care of me. And he came home and he said, I've been cheating on you, and I don't wanna be with you anymore. And she just uncovered all of these lies and all of this darkness from him. And during this time when they had joint custody, he was sexually abusive and just a very, very, very horrible person. The last time I saw him was when I was seven, so they had joint custody for a while. And then, um, and, and so that was the origin of feeling that something had been taken inside of my soul and inside of my body. So when I started hitting puberty, I was so terrified of my body that I would shower in a bathing suit. I would obsessively shave all the hairs off my body. I would pray to God every single night'cause I was raised Catholic, that I would never turn into a woman because it was so terrifying to feel this emergence of my sexuality. After experiencing that kind of sexual abuse and for whatever reason, I don't know that they were linked, it comes, it almost feels like a different part of my being. When I was 14, I found a trip in the back of the New York Times that went to Tibet, India, and Nepal, and I begged my mom and my stepdad to send me and bless them. They let me go.

Willow:

That's amazing. You're only 14 years old.

Leah:

Did you go with other

Willow:

for.

Leah:

or are you just like this solo, I gotta go to Nepal. I'm 14. I'm gonna do this like without anyone with you. That would be so adventurous and I would be so intimidated to do that at 14.

Layla:

Oh well, so the first trip I went on alone was actually to Italy when I was 15. That trip was actually guided by two 20, I think they were about 20 years old. So I was like, oh, we've got adults looking out for us. And now I'm like, what the hell?

Leah:

Totally. Totally.

Willow:

funny.

Layla:

So I had an early. Touch points to, uh, cashmere Shaivism and the beautiful sacred lands of India. We got to go to blessed monasteries in Tibet. I feel so blessed and privileged to be able to have witnessed the wisdom and the profundity of those cultures and the way that they stewarded spiritual practice and tradition and wisdom. And for me, being raised Catholic, it was eye-opening to see a spiritual tradition that was about your connection to God, rather than being told who and what God was and specifically how God wanted you to behave as a woman.

Leah:

Mm-hmm.

Layla:

And so I had this combination when I turned 17 and I went to Stanford University of knowing these wisdom traditions existed, and also really coming to terms with the depth and magnitude of my trauma. Like the first time I saw my boyfriend's penis, who was like a loving, beautiful, wonderful human. As a teenager, I went into a full freeze trauma response. I couldn't even speak for about 30 minutes. That's how intense. My sexual trauma was, and I didn't really have words for it. I didn't understand it back then. Our society has grown in leaps and bounds in the last 20, 30 years around what trauma is and how to talk about it and how to understand it. Even understanding the depth and impact and brutality of what can happen to a child's nervous system when they experience that kind of trauma. So I had the righteous outrage of a teenager and I was like, wait, I've been through this kind of pain. Everybody else has been through this, not everybody else, but so many people have been through this kind of pain and we don't have healing centers on every street corner. Like it's not known how to heal yourself from this level and depth of of trauma. And a heartbreak. And so I went looking for how do you heal yourself when you've been traumatized? And also I found the sex education at Stanford University. I was in the pre-med department seriously lacking because I wanted to know how to fix my soul. I wanted to know how to fall back in love with my body. I wanted to know how to stop screaming sex when I, a response and the age of a woman when she gets pregnant. And I was like, what the.

Willow:

Oh my

Leah:

Yeah. Yeah. So then you had to create your own education. So where did you go? How did you find those Answers?

Layla:

Yeah, so I went back, I uh, I took a break from Stanford when I was 18 and I bought one way ticket to Asia. And I spent two years, uh, studying meditation and my first Kundalini practices, my first early, early Tantra practices. And it was so clear to me that there was something there that allowed a healing and a restoration of the body, heart, and soul that I was not finding anywhere in my Western education. I. And so I went back and forth for a while and I, in, in my science education, learned a lot about the nervous system and psychology and had a deep respect for science. But I found that my soul's healing was there in Asia, and I learned both neo and classical Tantric practices. So both the classical thousands of years old tradition of Tantra and the newer practices of how to awaken and heal your aeros through things like a pussy massage or a penis massage, or chakra breathing and deep activation of your erotic body through things like breath work and the combination of the two restored a sense of dignity and power and in loveness to my body. And one of the biggest hallmarks of the Tantric philosophy that really changed everything was your body is just as sacred as prayer. Your body is just as much a portal to God as any temple you could ever pray in. And understanding my body in that way helped heal all of the religious shame and eventually most of the trauma. And I had this deep dedication where I was like, look, if I had to go through this layer of hell, like I don't wanna just be a survivor, I wanna come out on the other side saying that I am better off and I'm having more exquisite orgasms, that I can be in an even deeper devotional partnership than if I had never had to do this healing in the first place. And that was the vision that I set for myself. And what I found was all of these practices that helped make that a possibility because so much of what I was encountering just in the scientific literature or just in Western education, wasn't enough for me to find this celebratory portal into my nervous system and through sexuality all the way to the erotic. And it ended up being this deep realization that sex is where we hold our deepest shadows on this planet, but it is also where we can have some of our highest prayer and deepest intimacy and most profound love.

Willow:

That's so beautiful and it's so beautiful too, how Tantra really does bring so many through that healing portal, like so many of us enter into the Tantric realm because of sexual trauma, because of, you know, even if it's a, a collective trauma or, you know, um, the societal trauma or if it's a more, you know, overt trauma as well

Leah:

all the traumas,

Willow:

all the traumas. Yeah.

Leah:

big Ts and little Ts. You know, a lot of people are walking in because something in their soul, and they may not even know it consciously, but somewhere in their soul, they know there's something more and they know that they want it. And they know that there is something that is, I don't know, off isn't operating at its full potential. There's obstacles in the way of getting the love that they most desire. I have a very similar story as you. Um, but mine was such a deep, dark secret. It was, I didn't want anyone to know that I was really broken inside and was undeserving of love. And then I go to my first weekend seminar and they're doing all this stuff on sexual healing and I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm gonna have to encounter this. And I didn't think I would ever encounter it in my whole life. I remember praying to God and go, just lemme suppress it like everybody else. Why is it that everyone else gets to forget this fucking shit? And I remember every freaking detail, um, can't you take this away?

Willow:

Aw.

Leah:

But as someone who feels so much forgiveness and wholeness and so much purpose and so much gratitude for all of that, because of what I get to do now, it's really weird to keep calling it that,'cause I actually no longer hold it that way. I just use it because I know it helps others. How do you feel in the holding of that original story, having done so much healing on it?

Layla:

um. Similar to you. I think when I'm talking about it now from a more healed place, I also wanna pause and acknowledge anyone who's not there yet. Because before I felt this healed, it was like a crater in the most sensitive parts of myself. It was like a black hole that could suck me in at any moment into an ocean of sorrow or grief or self-hatred. And so for anyone who's not yet at that level of healing, I just wanna acknowledge the depth and pain that I was in that I can imagine you were in and how real and painful that is. And I thought I could heal it very quickly. And I was like five years in and I was like, damnit. I was like 10 years in.

Leah:

I, yeah.

Layla:

Even I would say that, you know, it took about five years to be able to feel pleasure and celebration and joy my body, and 10 years to feel like I felt good on a daily basis rather than the echoes of trauma all throughout my nervous system as I was going about my day. But I would only say that it's very recently that I was able to have a full power match relationship with a man that I'm deeply in love with, who's deeply devoted to me, and to finally find myself exquisitely beautiful and desirable in that partnership. And to answer your question, I literally, yesterday was like looking back and I could feel how much I suffered in childhood, how much I suffered as a teenager, how many times I told myself that I was so ugly and so horrible, and just like my skin would crawl with this disgust and how that destroyed so many early partnerships. How I couldn't even see what was possible for me in love, and from this vantage point, from this consciousness, now, I'm like, wow. Of course. Of course this is what you would do. Of course, you would form a healthy, beautiful partnership with like a sacred masculine king if you're a heterosexual or a divine empowered being regardless of gender. And I only even got there very, very recently. And there is something that is very true about my relationship to my trauma, which is now that I have loved my inner child and even my inner baby, like pre-verbal parts of myself all the way to the core, and I can predominantly live my soul's truth rather than my trauma. And I really feel the gifts, as you're talking about, from a life that was filled with grit and some level of emotional hardship and all the gifts that that gave me, then no, it doesn't really matter what happened in the 1980s anymore. Like if anything, it's like, it's, it's so. Life feels so magnificent now, and my nervous system has been so updated that the past doesn't weigh on me. So the past doesn't matter, but at one time it really did.

Willow:

Well, what I, what I really love what you just said. Um, Layla and I wanna highlight is like, just yesterday you were looking back, like after how many decades of doing this work, of healing yourself, of teaching the work. When you teach it, you learn it so much more, right? And sharing it with thousands of women around the world. Like you've done so much, so many layers of this work at such a deep level. It is your life, it is you, you walk it, you talk it, you breathe it. And, and even just yesterday, you know, you still look back and like have a, a big aha about like, wow, how far you've come and how far you are away from it. So I feel like that just reminds all of us who are on the path that like the expansion, the Tantra of life is ever expanding and ever evolving. And we always get to see from a new perspective, like how far we've come. It's really quite remarkable.

Leah:

when you look back right on that little Layla who just had all this disgust and self-loathing and probably looked in the mirror and didn't see what everyone else saw. Like I think about that Leah all the time. And I have so much grief for her. I mean, I think about like, my God, you spent years thinking you were hideous, unlovable, disgusting, and all this vitriol of this critical voice things I would say to myself that I would never utter to another human being nor would I think of another human being this way. And I think about that girl and that and that, that real feeling. Um. Standing from this place. I just feel so sad for her that she had to spend so long believing a lie. Um, can you want a remark on anything like that for yourself?

Layla:

I think it's coming to me in this moment, which I've never said quite in this way before. I had, uh, deep health challenges in the last year for the first time in my life. So I revisited Joe Dispenza's work and when people were like, what happened? Like, how did you suddenly get better after a year of sometimes not being able to get outta bed? And I was like, I Joe dispensed it. Like I was just like, my body knows health, like my life force energy knows health. But I couldn't do that until I had healed a deep part of me that was terrified of the next level of my life force energy expression until I had let go of, seriously, I'll be real with you, an entity. I never like really believed in entities before, but an entity that I had taken on when I was being traumatized by my father that was protective and actually leaked my life force energy, but also felt protective. And this was only like a few months ago when I was in a space of a teacher I really trust a lot, Tom, who does these workshops called sapiens. And he was like, I believe you have an entity. And I was like, okay, cool. And he went in to remove it and it was totally, it was a full exorcist situation. Like, you know, that thing was not a joke. And I was like, whoa, I did not make that up. Like that thing was so real and I could feel my inner little girl who had held onto it so tightly because she was so alone and so scared and that that was her way of feeling safe. And so I couldn't Joe dispen it until I had done, uh, you know, do that level like, like call myself into health until I released the pain and the old trauma that was still lodge like still lodged in my nervous system. And what I'm feeling right now, I don't know what the word for it would be, but to high priestess it. If you want that, you can go, let's say if like the sickest you could be. And you know, in a wheelchair or with an autoimmune condition or with cancer and this miraculous healing that you can do from knowing that your system knows health. It's like what I hear us talking about right now. What I feel in myself, what I feel in Leah is this deep. Understanding that my system knows what self-love is. My system actually knows what safety is, what beauty is. My system knows that the goddess loves me deep down inside. And so there was this way of going from an unbelievable amount of self hatred, exactly what you're talking about. Like I wouldn't even leave the house when I was 18 because I thought I was too ugly for anyone to look at. Like when you have that level of trauma and it folds in on itself, the weight of that energy goes so gnarly. And what I found was that those beliefs weren't true. They just made me feel safe because they kept me small. As long as I hated myself, as long as I was picking myself apart, as long as I was so focused on what was wrong with me, I didn't actually put myself out there to connect with a man, because that was terrifying. Not in a real way, not in a soul bearing kind of way.

Willow:

Mm-hmm.

Leah:

can save yourself from being rejected if you never try to get whatever it is you most want. So you reject yourself first, and for some reason we think that that's better.

Willow:

Well,

Layla:

And we believe the self rejection, it only works as a defense mechanism if you actually believe the lies that you're telling yourself. So I feel like, you know, the beauty of this and the, the thing I'm feeling right now in talking to you to is like you can high priestess yourself out of even the deepest levels of self hatred, the deepest levels of self rejection, the most overwhelming waves of shame and disgust, and find your way back to the human truth, which is actually dignity and beauty and erotic connection and intimacy. And deep down inside, you know, my inner little girl, I could love her so much here and now. That's the only ver version that matters, right? The version from. All the way back in the day doesn't matter, but she gets the love finally that she deserved infant layla gets, the love she deserved, and in actually receiving that depth of love, they have freed themselves of the need for me to protect myself with that level of self hatred anymore. And that's why yesterday I literally was like, wait. I was like, it feels like it feels like something's missing. And I was like, I don't ever look at the mirror anymore and think there's anything wrong with me. And that was just my pervasive state of being. And I was like, like, cheers that I'm gonna have a sip of coffee.

Leah:

Well, you know, you are reminding me, I remember when I was first starting to do Tantra healing work on myself and going through these healing rituals and, you know, I treated myself the way I wanted a partner to treat me with a bubble bath and the smelly things and spending money on me and all these things. And I would go and, and I would touch my Chakras and I would breathe and I would put in my hands the things I wish someone else would put in their hands for me. And then I remember this, the, the quantum physics idea that the past, the present and the future all happening at the same time. And so the love that I felt I was calling on for my future self, the Leah, that was five years from now, the Leah, that was 10 years from now, the Leah that was 15 years from now, who had already done all of this, who was living in her radiance and doing so many beautiful things, being totally herself, all the things I wanted that didn't have then, I would just have her come and like transmit. What I'm ready for and over and over and over again. I've done that through the years. Even now, I'll tune into the Leah that's 60 or 55 and go help, I dunno how to do this yet. And it's pretty profound. You

Willow:

It's almost version of, of, uh, a version of sex magic. You know, where you're like calling in the future self and what it feels like and what it looks like. Um, Layla, I just listened to one of your, um, little mini podcasts the other day on the seven day podcast. The seven day, uh, sex Magic Ritual. It was great.

Layla:

Oh,

Willow:

with our audience a little snippet about that.

Layla:

Yeah. So does your audience know what Sex magic is?

Willow:

Yes, they do. But give us your

Leah:

I wouldn't, maybe not everybody, but, so there'll be

Willow:

from the top. Yeah.

Layla:

So sex magic, which you can actually find in a lot of different ancient cultures. Now, I found you can find it in indigenous cultures of North America and South America. You can find it in the Celtic traditions, and I did actually find it in a classical Tantric text, the yo, um, about using the power of aeros to shape and manifest in reality. So really, really powerful that this actually has shown up in so many different cultures over time. And the idea with sex magic is that you can use your erotic power to be a more potent manifester. And when I first started doing it, like I already mentioned, I went to Stanford. I studied neurobiology, so I was like, wait, no, no, I can't be manifesting like amounts of money. Like literally I would see the exact number of people that would be in a program I was launching. I'd do sex magic around that. Just health. It was, it was amazing. It was. So powerful. And I was like, how the hell is this working? And I really got into what creates manifestation. And so one of the reasons Sex Magic is so powerful, right? You turn yourself on, you spin your erotic energy and pleasure through the seven chakra bands. And when it goes all the way up to the crown, you put yourself into a state of peak pleasure or orgasm. You can do it solo or with a partner. And in that state, you step into what I call the five senses reality, which is you are in, immersed in what it is that you want. You taste it, you touch it, you smell it, you see it here, you feel it, right? And in that what you're doing is you are saying to not just your prefrontal cortex, the part of you that can vision the future, but your entire body, which has way more of your unconscious mind and your unconscious imprinting locked in it. You are speaking to your whole body when you do the visualization. So when most of us are manifesting, we're seeing something over and over again, or we're affirming something and we're only engaging our spatial visual abilities and our verbal abilities, but we're not necessarily touching our unconscious mind. So what makes sex magic so powerful is you're actually bringing your unconscious mind online. So in the Tantric practices, activating the Chakras is a code for connecting all the parts of your brain. So when you actually put yourself in the vision of your manifestation, your whole brain is connected and online, and your whole body is attuned and listening at the same time, you've put yourself into one of the highest states of vibration possible, which is the orgasmic state of pleasure. And most of the time, I'd say. Almost every time with some karmic or environmental exceptions, if you say you want something, but you're not getting it like that is reasonably available, like a healthy partnership, right? Or a reasonable amount of money you can make a reasonable amount of success, a reasonable amount of health, right? And you don't have it, it's because some part of your nervous system is still afraid. And what sex magic does is it actually puts you in the reality of that thing that you most want and allows deep locks in your nervous system to re imprint that this is actually pleasurable. This is actually safe to have this. And I haven't come across another manifesting tool that creates that level of pleasure and safety as an imprint with the manifestation. But what I will say to answer Dr. Willow's question is just that in doing sex magic is like, wow, this is so powerful. And you actually referenced this Leah earlier, which is that when you make a big leap forward, there's often a grief. That you didn't have the thing before. And if we don't give ourselves space to process the grief, the grief will actually stick us in the old habit pattern. So I shared a sex magic practice that I developed because I was ready to call in my partner. And prior to that, right, I had separated from an eight and a half year partnership. That was beautiful. But it was also not my, like, it it, I just knew it wasn't my truth. And it took a lot of courage to leave. And in the interim period a couple of times I was like, I wanna call in my king and I would like listen to myself. And I was like, that's bullshit. Like, you don't actually wanna call in your king, like, I don't know what you want, but you don't want that. Because I would say it, and it wasn't coherent in my being. So I did a lot of work, a lot of healing, you know, had some disastrous experiences, some really wondrous experiences. And finally I was like, I'm fucking ready. And I was like, okay. Once I became ready. All the grief hit that I had never let myself be ready before all the grief, even of having been in good relationships with really good men. Even that past partnership was so beautiful in so many ways, and there were so many times where I could not receive the love and the devotion that I was still too terrified, still too caught up in my own trauma, and I felt that to actually call in this man and the level of power match and conscious partnership that I really wanted, I would have to grieve all of the times that I hadn't let myself have that because as soon as I could have it, I could realize that I didn't let myself have it. And so. I did this ritual leading into Burning Man, where I did seven, um, mornings of grief ritual. So I would put on a clock for like 15 or 30 minutes and I would let myself grieve and sob and I'd hit pillows and I'd cry and I'd be in sorrow and I, I'd be like full picked up. Like I'd never had the laugh that I'd say after, what am I doing? Right? And then in the evening or afternoon, I would do sex magic. And I chose s seven different qualities I wanted in my partnership. And I did sex magic on each quality. So I called in the reality of feeling devotion from my partner and the reality of having a shared Tantric practice and the reality of feeling emotionally safe and the reality of it being like hot and um, like a playmate connection and an intellectual match. So I did seven different sex magics, seven different grieving rituals, and uh, literally met my partner like a few days later. So it was a really.

Leah:

did, darling. Yes. Makes total sense. Brilliant.

Willow:

I love the, I love the, the metaphor you gave in that episode of like, you know, if you've got a. Um, like a chalice cup and, and you wanna put the love of your life in there. You wanna put your amazing health or your abundant bank account in that chalice, like whatever it is that you're manifesting. If there's too much of the grief, the shadow of the lack of never, not having, of the anger, of the fear, of the doubt of the insecurity, if there's too much of that in your chalice, then you can't, you can't fill it up with that thing that you want so bad. So I've been,

Leah:

good point.

Willow:

Teaching, I've been teaching my women the sex magic practice. We're doing a year of sex magic practice, and I'm like, gosh, how much can we, like, how much can we draw on and pull on in relationship to manifesting through our eros? Because I'm real into Joe Dispenza too. And like talk about, I mean, he's basically teaching Tantra to the world, to the book of the world. It's fantastic. I love it. So, um, so it's really fun to, to, I love that episode because it gave me some new nuggets and some new ideas and just some new inspiration around like, you know, offering even more to, to the women in, in my sphere.

Layla:

Yeah,

Leah:

yeah, please.

Layla:

I also really learned something big around it with my health recently because I had this realization, it was probably like eight months into being sick and I was like, you have not sex magic to your health.

Leah:

Mm.

Layla:

I was like, how could you not be sex magic in your health? Like literally this was a relentless level of exhaustion and fatigue. And it was, it was so intense and I was thinking about it and I realized I don't actually wanna be healthy. And I was like.

Leah:

Yeah,

Layla:

And then I was like, why don't I wanna be healthy? And that question allowed me to do a certain amount of healing work that then I was able to start doing sex magic on my health. And that quality of deep coherence and gnosis, just a deep, unwavering knowing of what is within you and what you're creating and what your reality is. It's like if it sits on top of un cried tears or aggrieved grief, or unhealed trauma, enraged anger, it won't stick. And so if it's not sticking or you can't get yourself to sex magic yet, it's great to say, well, why not? Like what? What do I want more?

Willow:

that I want this, this illness or this not having a partner or not having the abundance or the success or whatever the fuck it is now, what's your process for going there? Can you just like sit there and, and it comes to you? I know I've been running my women through Carolyn Elliot's deep, deepest fear inventory, you know,

Layla:

Uh.

Willow:

like, I really like, I would absolutely hate to find the love of my life, or I would absolutely despise making$60,000 a month because I have deep fear that I we'll have to pay astronomical taxes or I have deep fear that I will still not feel successful in financial abundance. Right. Like all these fears. And so what they're seeing as they do this practice is things that they have that they couldn't see before.'cause they're now bringing the unconscious to the light. Even some of them I do private coaching with. And I, and I've said these, I'm like, well, you probably aren't finding, you know, that partner because it would mean you would have to commit. You know, and they're, and, but they can't hear it from me, right? They're now getting this like, wow, I'm afraid of commitment because they're actually going through the practice and, and getting it from themselves. So I'm just curious, like, do you have some other fun, um, you know, practice that you do? Or for you, is it just like, let me just sit down and be real honest with myself. I actually wanna be sick.

Layla:

I don't think any practice beats just being honest with yourself.

Leah:

Yeah.

Layla:

So the phrase I like to say to people that I like came up with a long time ago is act like you took MDMA like truth serum, right? I don't take a lot of Molly, I get a horrible two day hangover. I'm like, God hates me and only me. But when you take MDMA, there's a quality where you start speaking truth, right? You just tell the truth. If MDMA doesn't work for you, it's a truth serum, right? You take a truth serum and you're talking to God. Like do not lie to God on a truth serum. And practice being that ruthlessly honest with yourself. Because a lot of us don't hold ourselves to that standard. It's like, oh. It's like, hey, if I bullshit myself a little bit or if I tell myself something that makes me feel just a little bit comfortable, or a lot of us have a tremendous amount of shame around how we're actually operating in deeply egoic ways, which

Leah:

Yeah. Denial.

Layla:

Yeah. And so we're Just like, no, no, no. I can't like possibly be doing that. And so practicing telling yourself the truth, which is a practice of your a lifetime, helps you hear the truth and let you know when you're not telling yourself the truth. And I do love a good somatic body scan, so it's like, okay, I want this thing, I'm gonna vision this thing. So let's say I am saying I want partnership. I'm gonna actually, uh, vision, my dream partner coming to me, picking me up and doing the thing maybe that I most want, like making love to me or proposing marriage or you know, saying, I'm like, we're, we're gonna make a baby. Like whatever it is. And then scanning your body and finding where is there any contraction? Where is there fear? Where is there dissociation? Because our unconscious lives in these spaces in our body and our nervous system. So when you scan through it and look for those places as you're actually visualizing the thing that you most want, you will often uncover things, especially if you're not very verbal or mental, you can find things that are hidden in your body.

Willow:

Yeah, that somatic experiencing and, and releasing of old somatic, like where the blocks are and, and talking to the places in your body and even seeing them like, oh, there's this stuck. So many women get that right between the heart and the throat, obviously. Right. And so like, what is the sensation there? It's tight. It feels, you know, like, I can't breathe very well if, and then if they start to visualize it, you know, they see all different kinds of things. Anything from like, you know, images of their, of their transgressor to, to like, you know, red spiky balls.

Leah:

Right, or be being in front of the class at in third grade and freezing when you're supposed to do something in front of everybody, you know, which just reminds me the old saying the issues are in the tissues. So it's so much more than in your head, baby. If you really want to get to purify yourself from the blocks and the pain and the owies and the hotspots, it, you can't just work it up here, which is the old therapeutic model. You gotta be able to go into the body and investigate. And now, after everything that's just been said, I finally do remember what I was gonna say, leads into, I think, what both of you have been discussing. And that is so many women have a hard time reaching climaxes, having what they would call orgasms, feeling like it's always elusive to them, and especially on demand. So having a practice where they think they have to have an orgasm at the end for something to work could be a sticking point. So I'm wondering how do you help, um, those that really want this sex magic practice? But when they hear that a climax is involved, they're like, fuck I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fail. I'm not good at that.

Layla:

Yeah. So what I always say is, what's important is not that you absolutely climax, but that you go into a peak state of pleasure and the most peak state of pleasure available to you in that moment. And people who first start doing sex magic, sometimes they don't feel pleasure. Sometimes there is dissociation, sometimes there is numbing out. And I even say that, you know, we'll do a hundred person sex magic rituals in my trainings. And I'll say, you know, if you've never done sex magic with a hundred people before, like orgasmed in a room full of this many, like wild screaming, you know? Yeah. I was like, be gentle with yourself. You know, it's a new, it's a new experience for your body and your mind and your nervous system. So give yourself some, some patience and some compassion and some slowness and some grace. And even I had a, a man. A long time ago, he was one of the first men who ever came to my all gender sex magic. And he was, he's like a big known, uh, like figure in the, in the business world. I, I won't reveal his name, but he actually tells everyone that he did this. He's like, I came to Layla's backyard and did sex Magic in 2020, and I was like, that's. That's true. And the reason that I named that is sometimes I think people have these perceptions that men at some of the highest levels of power in society like don't do this sort of thing. And they do and they take to it and they're so excited. But his big piece when he called me up was like, what if I don't have an erection? And I was like, you don't have to have an erection. He was like, really? What if I don't feel turned on? And I was like, you don't have to feel turned on. The idea is to be there to work with the energy, to cultivate whatever arises for you and be with the process. And if. If something comes up besides pleasure, then there's healing to be done. And he had the most magnificent experience with a soft a flacid penis the entire time, just like lying in the backyard. And it healed him of something so profound, and he's gone on now to have much deeper, more erotic practices. I have not seen anyone do sex magic over a long period of time. That doesn't start to cultivate a deeper ability to have peak states of pleasure or easier orgasms that are more on tap because that is something you can build. But for people who feel absolutely nothing in the beginning, or even for men who don't have erections, it's not meant to be a practice that pushes you towards something. But it is meant to be a practice where over time you cultivate an ability to get super turned on doing it. And there is a kind of Pavlovian response. I wish there was a cooler metaphor for that, but like Pavlovian response, you're like, time for sex magic, and your pussy is like, yeah, it's.

Leah:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like even if that, there's something always to discover.

Layla:

Yes.

Leah:

the outcome, there's always something to discover. And can you be curious even when you're like, fuck, I didn't feel any arousal. You can go, huh, that's interesting. I didn't feel that much arousal and just that little bit of tone shift, that little bit of, um, perspective shift, I think then can lead you to the other things that might be covered up that wanna unfurl so that you can reach more of that ecstasy that is available to you. Sometimes we just have layers of stuff covering it up, and we have to be brave to go, let me feel everything, no matter what it is. Let me finish metabolizing the layers that might be on top of my bliss, because there's only one way to it. You gotta kinda encounter all the parts of yourself, the good and the yucky.

Willow:

And sometimes we don't know what, what it is, there's no story attached to it. Like that's one of the beautiful things about all the Tantric practices is you don't have to have a trauma attached to it or a story attached to it or a timeline attached to it. It could just be like emotion coming up and coming out, or physical things coming up and coming out, shooting sharp, you know, experiences that move through your body. And what they're basically doing is opening up stagnant Chi in your meridians so that you can actually start to run more pleasure and more, uh, erotic arousal sensations through those meridians and, and become more of yourself. Like fill yourself up with your

Leah:

It's like I'm wondering why I'm psychic vomiting right now. All I'm doing is g and g and gag. Oh, now I'm burping. What the fuck is going on? And it's just like, sub baby, just let it out.

Layla:

Well, you're touching on an excellent point, which is culturally, obviously most of us are carrying the story that sex needs to be about pleasure and anything erotic must feel pleasurable.

Leah:

Right.

Layla:

I this is, that will not be triggering to your audience, but is surprisingly, or not surprisingly, triggering to the rest of the world. When I say that sex is the active form of meditation, and meditation is the still form of sex. So if you sit down to meditate sometimes you're like having, yeah, you're burping, you're shaking. There's like an energy awakening. Sometimes something's processing through you. Sometimes it's deep peace, sometimes it's unity, oneness. But the point is that you showed up and did it not that you felt any particular thing and sexual experiences have that same quality actually, that it really is whatever is here. And what's also amazing is for people who do plant medicine, real erotic activation is much more like what you would experience in a plant medicine ceremony where yes, you're psychically vomiting up egoic limitation from your solar plexus so that your energy can flow through your entire being and you can express the full force of your power. You know, it's very, it gets a lot wilder and a lot weirder than people ever imagined sex to be.'Cause we're, we're actually repressing the hell out of how free our bodies would really be. Your body is designed to be as free as it would be in an ayahuasca ceremony of the shaking and the spiritual downloads and the release of energy. And I have actually, it doesn't happen that often. Doesn't need to happen. I'm physically vomited during sex. Like when you're really actually letting energy, life force flow all the way through you, you get to a level of surrender and majesty and ecstasy. And I don't care how you get there, whether it's kink, whether it's deep in loveness, whether it's power dynamics, whether it's being day at ease. Yeah.

Leah:

celibate,

Willow:

Yeah.

Layla:

But that's the feeling we're all hungry for. And that's the feeling that we want during sex. And ironically, that experience comes through allowing anything that's not pleasure, but is aliveness itself moving through you, and then the much deeper ecstasy comes through.

Willow:

I think that people are afraid to go through that portal across that threshold of like, oh, that's uncomfortable and I wanna scream this out, or I wanna vomit this out. Can't tell you how many times I sat in that judge spends a meditation hall, like feeling like I need to fucking throw up bag right here, right now.'cause like so much energy's moving up and breaking through the, the blocks in each one of the Chakras and, you know, so it's just, um, it's, it's scary. It's, you have to surrender into the unknown and the unknown is scary. So, you know, that's one of the things that he's always touting is to fall in love with the unknown. And I think that is so, so true in relationship to breaking through sexually.

Leah:

Y you know, this is funny. I have to tell this story. Um,'cause it's reminding me of all of this. I grew up the first 10 years of my life. My parents were Pentecostal, so we went to church and people speaking in tongues and the Holy Spirit and praying, and they were actually doing Shakti pot. Um, but this was a Christian thing. So I don't know how that tradition got into this tradition, but it's really fun to like be grown up and notice the threads. And we left that church. And then I got baptized into Catholicism, Layla, and then had to go to Catholic school. So I had these very strange Christian, um, things that got woven into my conditioning. And I am, I'm well into my Tantra life and did MDMA one night and had like the most incredible Tantric love making. I, I, all the memories are so beautiful. And then I hit a thing like this massive thing. I remember having the female Ejaculation and when I looked at the towel, it was the color of a dark, um, rain cloud. It was like gray and I was sobbing. It was like spirit came in and then washed through all my Chakras and I released so much of the contraction that came from that sexual abuse as a kid that was still living there. And it was like we are cleaning this shit out. And then right afterward I started speaking in tongues

Layla:

Yeah.

Leah:

and I don't even think I believe in speaking in tongues, which is like extra hilarious. I'm like those that is also fucking fake. People are telling themselves like this grand story and here I'm going. And then my partner at the time, just for fun started speaking it back to me, me. And I'm like, you get it. And he's just like making it up too. And I think that it's so interesting how our subconscious is trying to reconcile parts of our conditioning and that there is something that medicine can open us up to that opens our bodies and our psyches. I might have been able to discover that on the match. never know unless it happens again. Um, probably not though.

Layla:

Well, the thing that I've studied with energy phenomenon and in working with Kundalini Energy and Life Force Energy is that so many of our spiritual traditions are doing what the human body does naturally when life force energy moves through it. So one of the things that I've seen is that speaking in tongues or light language happens when Shakti or Life Force Energy truly penetrates the third eye. And that is, it's different types of speaking in tongues and different types of light language, but it's a pretty universal phenomenon. And there's lots of other things too when, uh, for instance, life force energy pulsates through the center of the womb, your tongue comes out. And interesting is Kali and Tarara, um, some of the goddesses from the Tantric tradition in the Hindu tradition, they are representative of the lower Chakras and they have their tongues sticking out. Yeah, and what's happens is what, when religion goes. Right When it starts to co-opt our connection to the divine in service of somebody else's power, it takes these beautiful capacities that we all have and teaches us like who we have to be in order to access them or what God is or restricts us, right? So, uh, for instance, the Catholic church in a whole rampage to control like the entire continent of Europe, for instance, taught people that shaking is demonic, but shaking is what happens when life force energy moves through you. So there's these very subtle blocks that we have in the way that energy moves through our bodies, and it actually goes all the way back to religious programming that is designed to teach us from finding that, designed to keep us from finding that pathway to God Goddess ourselves. And when you're talking, like when we were first starting this interview, right? Besides all the sexual pieces that drew me to Tantra, there was a deep spiritual tradition that existed very globally, but surely all over Europe and in the Middle East, and definitely in India. And a deep part of those practices, which was not only goddess worship and having high priestesses who were part of the guardianship of spiritual practice, but also erotic practices. It was part and parcel, like a way of worshiping the divine was to work with erotic energy, was to work with orgasmic energy. And so, so many people think it's like, oh, it's this aberration of, you know, whatever, Westerners like sexualizing everything. And it's not that that's not happening sometimes in some places, but there is this remembrance in our bodies that when Shakti and energy is flowing through you, you are singing and dancing and in oneness with all the divine. And what starts happening is erotic. And what starts happening is speaking in tongues. And what starts happening is all of these beautiful energy phenomenon. And the reason I think it's so important to name it, including, you know, energetic purging and things like that, is because these are sacred practices of high priestess traditions that many of us got programmed to be afraid of, or now we only think are possible like if we take plant medicine. But actually that is our nervous system's natural response to the elevated, ecstatic presence of sacred energy within us. And so those movements are super holy. And so when I'm talking about sex incorporating those movements, it's not because it needs to be weird or out there, it's literally because when you are so surrendered that you will allow that amount of energy to flow through your body during sex, those are the kinds of things that will start happening. So it's a very slow unwinding of all the ways that we've repressed ourselves as humans for thousands of years, so we can return to this rightful state of erotic liberation.

Leah:

You know,

Willow:

you speak our language so beautifully.

Layla:

Talking to some sexy priestesses right now.

Leah:

You know what it brings to mind, some realization for me in this moment is when you've had religious trauma. Especially when the messaging is so defined for who you're supposed to be purity wise as a woman. And then, um, the, what feels like all these religious lies when you move away from it and then you wanna dance towards spirituality. It's kind of like you throw it all away because you have so many lies or so many untruths come to you in this form. It's hard to hold on or to decipher what part of the essence of that tradition, um, is still valuable to you when you become a seeker of something else. So I'm just sort of in the awareness of that. One of the things that was different between the Pentecostal and the Catholic P piece was the, when we were Pentecostal, I knew I had a direct relationship to God. When we became Catholic. I had to go through a saint

Layla:

Yeah. And that's why the Pentecostals will allow you to speak in tongues and shake because they're like, yo, it's your pathway. Go for it. Whereas like in Catholicism they're like, don't you dare. Or you would discover.

Leah:

that's right. That's right. You gotta go through a priest, a nun, a saint, somebody. Um, so yeah. Anyways, I'm just Thank you for that. Just

Layla:

Yeah. And it's been amazing to me. I mean, I actually, I asked Chad GBT some pretty serious questions.'cause I'd done some religious excavation obviously, and you know, what are these priestess traditions and how was the original, uh, you know, Judaism and then Catholicism at war with high priestess religions and how all of that went down and how all that happened. But what was really fascinating to me is I really was like, how come the Jewish tradition is so much cooler about sex? And it was that. It is part not so. Oh, only some. Only some. It's a, it's a big tradition. Yes, yes. Some of them are cool.

Leah:

through a sheet.

Layla:

That's true. That's, that's actually true. But that part, part of the tradition is that to be a good husband is to give your wife orgasms. And, you know, to be a rabbi in most traditions is to be married, right. To actually have a sex life, to be, you know, all of that. And what's fascinating is Jesus was a Jewish rabbi, so he would've been teaching in that tradition. And unless he said anything other than that, that it would've been implied that that was part of what he believed. And it really wasn't until St. Augustine came along, who and St. Paul, who was actually like a player, like a hedonistic player. And he had like all this repentance and guilt and he was just like, nobody fuck anybody. That's the pathway to God. And I was like, bro, how did you ruin so much for so many people? Just because you couldn't keep it in your pants for a little while? Like

Leah:

he's the one that came up with the whole original sin and the Adam and Eve, like

Layla:

such a bummer.

Leah:

for some really fucked up sexual consequences. Everyone go read a New York Times article on St. Augustine. It'll blow your mind.

Layla:

and it's only important for people to know because I think there is still this doubt of like, but can sexually be holy. Like can it really be part, yes, part of a spiritual tradition, but at least celebrated by a spiritual tradition And it's like, yes, it's actually not that strange. Even through the Christian tradition and then all the way into traditions that celebrate it as an act of prayer as it is.

Leah:

I mean I, the Pentecostal faith that I was a part of, they really revered the union of a man and a woman. Of course, man and a woman. And it had to be marriage and they had to be virgins. But once they could cover those things, then it really was spoken about as something exquisitely beautiful and loving. Now I wanna segue, we only have a few minutes left, but

Layla:

just also wanna say that even though I never really touched the Pentecostal experience that much from a distance, I was like, they got snakes, they're shaking speaking tongues.

Leah:

They're. fainting.

Layla:

but there's something there.

Willow:

There's something Tantric going on over

Leah:

Yes. And I, I grieved so much when we left, I didn't understand why we were leaving'cause I, it was such a home for me and I was looking at, at one of your pod podcast episodes and um, and I found this line very interesting. I want you to comment on it. How to break free from the story. We have to be special and worthy because so many of us, especially in the pursuit of relationship, want to be special. Um, I have been obsessed with the need to be special for so many different periods of my life. It's really been an interesting effort to not be special. So what do you have to say?

Layla:

Yeah. I would say if you've spent your experience of life so far, feeling unworthy and telling yourself that you're not special, then the medicine for that person, right, because medicine is so specific, would be build the nervous system capacity to know that you actually are worthy and build the nervous system capacity to experience when you are doing something that's special or remarkable or beautiful, like we all deserve to have that. And those binaries become a deep trap of the ego, a deep trap of needing to have a particular identity, an identity of being special, and identity of being worthy, an identity of not being special, an identity of not being worthy. So if you're talking. Good, healthy personal development. For most women, let's say, I'd say feeling worthy and letting yourself feel special can be part of your personal growth and evolution and part of your reem empowerment from a culture that would've happily torn you down. And by the way, I most men actually feel very unworthy and very unspecial as well. So for the mo, for the most part, them working on that is very important. And when I'm talking about that quote specifically, there then becomes this very potent way. And I did it for a long time and still do it, uh, to a certain degree where. The spiritual gifts that we all have an ability to be psychic, an ability to have tremendous amount of energetic power and ability to download wisdom from higher, deeper places within us. It's like the part of us that is desperate to feel special or desperate to feel more worthy will clinging to it as now I am this special spiritual person, or I am this, I'm especially worthy

Leah:

Yeah. Or to be recognized by others as being so special and all the things.

Layla:

Yeah. And one of the best things, one of my teachers, uh, told me, so one of my mentors along the way, Ernest Morrow, he teaches very, uh, left-handed Tantric kind of direct awakening practices. And this is like years ago. And I used to do sessions with him on the floor of my closet'cause it was the only place I could go in the house where like nobody could hear me. So I was like lying on the floor of my closet. He was like, you're not special. And I was like, yes. I'm, you know, when you're just like letting like the part of you that is, you know, whatever wants to fight your coach or your mentor, the whole die on a hill of being a kundalini sparkle pony. And so I was like, really in this thing of like, no, I am special and owning the part of me that does believe that in an attempt to reveal it and make it very real. And he was like, your specialness. The degree of your specialness is so insignificant compared to the universal magnitude of the specialness of any human being, and that I really got, and I think that's where, oh, I'm so special. Like I can whatever, do these tricks. Or like my pussy is this orgasmic or like whatever it is, right? Yeah, maybe my pussy's a little bit more orgasmic, or maybe I have a, a kind of, you know, connection to wisdom right now, but so does everybody else in their own way. And in every little domain that I can find where I have specialness, sodas, every other human in their own signature. But at the end of the day, all of that means nothing to the fucking miracle of what it is to be a human. And I don't know about you all, but I got so conditioned by like 1990s America of like, you gotta be the prettiest and the best, and the sparkliest and all that. And then it's so easy to just transfer your deep longing to feel worthy onto your spiritual path and to start utilizing the spiritual gifts or the wisdom or the things that you accrue. As a way to prove to yourself that you actually are that amazing. That you actually are that worthy. And there's something so much deeper than that, that is wordless and eternal and beyond any of that play that maintains its eternal. There's not even something I can say to it, but power consciousness, everythingness love with or without being special with or without spiritual gifts, with or without a man, with or without orgasms. And to know that thing and to know yourself as that thing that is actual Tantra. So that question gets to the heart of it.

Leah:

That's like the big non-dual piece. It's like what is special? Consciousness is special. What is consciousness? It's in me. It's in you. It's in all of us. Like the same consciousness looking out my eyes is looking out your eyes. And that is what is special. Leah doesn't need to be special. I'm just connected to the consciousness and it has so many variety of specialness and

Layla:

And I wanna say to everyone,

Leah:

it,

Layla:

yeah, to everyone listening, I have really experienced that anybody, when they love their inner child just a little bit more and become slightly less defended and protected, everybody becomes fascinating. Literally everybody, there's not a boring person on earth. What is boring? What is boring is the fucking trauma making you feel that you have to wear a mask and masks are boring. Or your inner child telling you that you're unlovable and the world is unsafe, and so you shut down all of your creativity and all of your spark or all of your whatever thing you were here to express. I have seen time and time again that the moment humans remove even just a modicum of that, they become so fascinating, so fascinating. So just know that if you're sitting there at home, that that is absolutely true.

Leah:

Oh, well that's a beautiful, um, thing to encourage us all to get in touch with is our pre wounded inner child. And to look at the world through that place. And it would be impossible not to have a great time. You wanna have more fun, more pleasure,

Willow:

curious little one in there.

Leah:

get into that pre wounded inner child and have a field day.

Willow:

I love it. Well, tell us a little bit, Layla, how people could find you and about your program, Vita.

Leah:

Yeah.

Layla:

Laylamartin.com signing up with your email address. So my email is still actually the best way to get my teachings and, uh, everything that I create and release into the world. I also have a podcast. To this Tantric life. And you can follow me on the@LaylaMartin at Instagram, I've been at Shadow Band, so you actually have to put in"The Layla Martin" or else you can't find me. Um, Layla Martin won't work. And then I have a certification called Vita Coaching. It is a one year, it actually works out to be two years once you've done all your graduation requirements initiation into being a sex, love and relationship coach from a Tantric approach. So, so much of what I've been talking about here, tools and practices built on this philosophy and this understanding in order to transform people's lives. And there will be a live event that is, uh, totally free and it'll be happening probably pretty soon after this podcast comes out. And it's called Your Future is Erotic. So if you're interested in that, you can find information about that, possibly you all will be linking to it. You can also find it on my website or by getting on my email address. You won't email list. You will not miss it.

Leah:

And are these events open for men and women?

Layla:

So your life is erotic, uh, can be, will be for anyone. Actually, Vita coaching right now is for women or, uh, female identified feminine identified, even gen, gender nonconforming beings. But you gotta have some kind of alignment with the feminine, or it's gonna be not satisfying to be in there. And, uh, and I'm going to be doing vita coaching in the future, uh, in a way that also includes men.

Willow:

Awesome. That's exciting. I know so many women have done the VITA coaching and they just always come out radiant and loving it

Leah:

yes. Everyone always has high marks to say about it, so

Layla:

Uh, thank you so much. It is a really, really special program. I.

Leah:

Well, we look forward to our path crossing. Again, thank you so much for giving us your time and uh, everyone else stay tuned.'cause you know what's up next. It's the Dish,

Willow:

we'll see you there.

Announcer:

Now our favorite part, the dish.

Willow:

Well, that was fun. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's so funny, I've, I've known of Layla for I don't know how many years now, at least 15 or so, and it's, um, be mostly because of, uh, a, a girlfriend that you know of. My, my friend, I won't mention her name, but she loves Layla, and so she's been telling me about her for years, and I just have, um you know, haven't had the, the time or the bandwidth to really fully check out her, her work, but it's just been, it was so great to kind of sit with her from a fresh perspective of not really knowing her, her work. I, I listened to a few podcasts as we were prepping for this and, you know, it's like she's, she's so been on the Tantric path for such a long time and studied so many of the classics and the neo Tantra and, you know, so many different layers and levels of it. So it's really, it was really fun to just get to know her from that beginner's mindset, you know?

Leah:

Yeah. Yeah. I really loved her full investigation of Sex magic. Um, of, you know, I've had. I've had sex magic in two very important compartments in my life that were really worked out beautifully for me between finding a home and and finding a husband. Um, but it's not something I feel called to do all the time. I don't know why. It just, it, uh, it's just not a yes. Um, but hearing her talk about it,

Willow:

I was hoping something was opening up for you.

Leah:

to my own, you know, teachings of it, it, it is, it's fresh, right. And so it does, it did. Some doors cracked open. I'm a little more open to it and I have some things in my life that I would like to see go smoother. So,

Willow:

Yeah. You know, and

Leah:

to investigate that again.

Willow:

I think the, the grief ritual added to the,

Leah:

Yeah.

Willow:

to, to, before the sex magic practice is really, really potent and really important. I've been, um, guiding my women on what I've been learning and playing with, which was is a complaint container, or you could also call it the Hidden Desires container. And this is from the Light Dark Institute. Um, and it's like. It's similar. Yeah. Like you set a timer for five minutes and you just fucking let it rip and you throw pillows and you hit the couch and you, you scream and you yell and you just like let all the complaints go about whatever it is. That's sort of like filling your chalice and getting in the way of you actually calling in the thing that you want. So, um, really powerful. Both, both of those practice the grief ritual and both. That and the hidden desires for AKA complaint container can, can totally empty you out to a place where you can get to those even deeper desires that you really, really want to see come to fruition in your life. And then you make love to that desire rather than the surface level. Like, I just don't wanna be alone anymore. I just don't wanna be struggling with finances anymore, whatever it is, you know?

Leah:

Yeah. I think that's a brilliant addition to preparing the vessel for being able to live more fully in to this thing that is gonna become your reality, to feel that reality. It makes sense. You'd have to do some purifying of the stuff that's weighing you down and blocking you from having that in the first place. Genius.

Willow:

absolutely. So

Leah:

So,

Willow:

Layla Martin.

Leah:

Layla Martin,

Willow:

Tell us what you

Leah:

of the show.

Willow:

Yeah. Tell us what you thought. Tell us what you loved. Tell us what you want more of.

Leah:

You know what, I, almost, before the interview happened, I was thought I might wanna take this into the direction of two different things that we didn't get into. One was BDSM. Because she is exploring that and she's had a couple of really interesting guests on her show talking about it. And so it would've been fun to get her take on what's new for her in her life that she's investigating, and um, and also just maybe having her speak a little bit more about conscious uncoupling and how much,'cause she's been very public about that breakup. Um, but it was really fun to hear about this new person in her life and all the stuff she had to do in order to call that in.

Willow:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that was a great, yeah, and we'll put a, I'll put a, we'll put a link to the episode that I was talking about her, um, sex Magic. It's only like a 30 or 40 minute little, a little episode that she recorded. Okay.

Leah:

Okay, I hope everyone has a fun day and that you enjoyed the beautiful Layla Martin, we love you. Remember, if you wanna help the show grow, I gotta subscribe, baby. And those comments move us right along. We love'em, and we will answer them. Ciao.

Announcer:

Thanks for tuning in. This episode was hosted by Tantric Sex Master Coach and positive psychology facilitator, Leah Piper, as well as by Chinese and Functional Medicine doctor and Taoist Taxology teacher, Dr. Willow Brown. Don't forget your comments, like subscribes and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.

People on this episode

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Dr. Willow Brown

Host
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Leah Piper

Host
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Layla Martin

Guest