Susan Bratton: My Husband Had An Affair - How Radical Honesty Saved Our Marriage & Led to Sexual Freedom | #117

Ever wondered what's possible when you stop faking orgasms and start speaking truth? Susan Bratton did exactly that. As a vivacious woman in her 60’s she is having the best sex of her life and teaching others how to do the same. After overcoming childhood sexual trauma and a struggling marriage, Susan transformed her relationship with pleasure and now helps others unlock their full sexual potential. With 44 books published and over two decades of expertise, she’s on a mission to help you discover your full orgasmic potential

🔥 IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

• How Susan healed from sexual trauma through somatic practices and partner support
• The surprising connection between genetics and trauma processing
• Why "mercy sex" isn't serving anyone (and what to do instead)
• Game-changing techniques for maintaining sexual vitality at any age
• The truth about female arousal patterns (hint: it's not what the patriarchy taught us)
• How radical honesty transformed Susan's 30-year marriage
• Why your yoni needs to be "asking for it" (and how to listen)

EPISODE LINKS *some links below may also be affiliate links 

• Susan’s Book - Pumping Guide
• Susan’s Book - Relationship Magic
• Susan’s Website - Better Lover
• Susan’s Website - SusanBratton.com 
• Susan’s Website - PersonalLifeMedia.com
• Susan’s Free Gift - Law of Arousal Video
• Susan’s Free Gift -  Libido, Desire, & Arousal
• SxR Episode #1 with

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Chapters

• 1:50 Introduction to Susan Bratton: The Intimacy Expert
• 3:24 Interview with Susan Bratton: Overcoming Sexual Trauma
• 4:09 Susan's Genesis Story- "I wanted great sex"
• 5:25 The Power of Honesty in Sexual Relationships
• 6:43 The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Sexuality
• 10:22 The Role of Genetics in Emotional Processing
• 16:57 Susan's Profound Pivotal Moment
• 21:35 The Power of Multiple Lovers and Non-Monogamy
• 24:41 Relationship Hacks and #TeamSweetie
• 26:19 20 Different Ways to Have an Orgasm
• 30:50 The Importance of Relationship Values in Sexuality
• 32:48 Playing with Polyamory
• 35:46 An Unusual Conversation at a Bar
• 36:24 The Journey to Healing Trauma and Open Relationships
• 38:23 The Art of Love Making and Heart Connection
• 41:29 The Power of Oxytocin and Compassion
• 43:40 The Importance of Sexual Skills and Confidence
• 47:14 The Importance of Honoring Your Body's Desires
• 48:49 The Impact of Sexual Confidence on Partners
• 51:56 Keeping Erectile Function Alive
• 53:05 Susan's Top Techniques for Men
• 58:29 The Power of Communication in Sexual Relationships
• 59:45 Free Resources
• 1:01:34 The Importance of Sexual Health and Vitality
• 1:02:53 The Dish with Leah & Dr. Willow

Transcript

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 1:50

Are you ready for an incredible interview with the one and only Susan Bratton, who is an intimacy expert to millions. She's a champion and advocate for all those who desire passion their whole life long, and she's a spokespersons for some pretty cool shit that I didn't know about, like Gaines Wave and Femme Wave. So when you listen to the interview, you're going to learn all about that. And she's got two companies, Personal Life Media which is all about heart connected love making techniques. And she's also got another company called BetterLover.com, and that's really where you can listen to Susan's free show and tune in with her. I mean she's been doing this for over two decades. She's so much incredible content, so much to teach you about how to become a better lover and just glean more pleasure from your sex and intimate life. Amen. So, Tune in, strap it on... what do

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 2:50

I say again?

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 2:51

Tune in, turn on, and fall in love with Susan Bratton. But strap it on too.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 2:56

Strap it on, tune in... I always miss the 2nd one....

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 3:01

Turn

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 3:01

on. Turn on?

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 3:02

How could I forget turn-on, that's not fair!

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 3:04

Turn on baby. Come on. Tune in, Turn on. And fall in love with Susan...

Announcer: 3:11

Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 3:20

All right, let's dive right in.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 3:22

Yeah. Welcome. We're here with Susan Bratton and we are so excited to just talk about... I mean Susan's been at this for over two decades. Like she has really run the gamut on what it means to help people heal sexually, to come into more pleasure, to enliven themselves on every level when it comes to sexuality. So we're thrilled that you're with us, Susan. And you know, our topic is really focused around how to overcome shame, how to overcome sexual trauma, how to eradicate guilt. A lot of times guilt comes from religious upbringing, but not always. It can just be ingrained in our society as well. And so we just can't wait to hear all of the wisdom that's going to emanate from you.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 4:08

Well, you know, it's interesting because and thank you for having me and I'm happy to be here with you. I've been following your career since time imemorial and rooting for your success as well because of the good work that you do in the world. And you know, it's a damn shame we have sexual trauma. I don't like that. And that it's so darn rampant. And it's interesting that, of course 20 years ago when I started, when I became a sexpert as my second career, I launched a publishing company because I, what happened was I'd been with my husband for over a decade, and I'd never had an orgasm from intercourse. And I stopped wanting to have intercourse. I stopped wanting to have sex with him. I started avoiding him. I did, you know, like what I would call mercy sex with him. And he was miserable. He checked out. He was having an affair just to cope. He wanted to stay in the relationship. He loved me and I wanted to have great sex. I just didn't know how to do it either. So we did the things. We went to therapists, we went to workshops, we did personal growth. We started getting really honest with each other. That was around when Brad Blanton launched Radical Honesty and we're like, all right, let's try it. Right. So it was, you know, that

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 5:31

How did that work out?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 5:33

Really well. Super well, boy did that mature us and what was so interesting about being honest, like saying things like, when you put your penis inside me, it takes my turn on down. You know, it's, it was like

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 5:48

That's a hard thing to be honest about, but it's so important because it's key, it's crucial. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 5:53

What are your body sensations? You know? And, and it was like a blunt instrument that provided no pleasure. And I was like, here we go again. I got to do this thing. You know, it was just misery. And luckily my husband is very strong and I honestly think people are very strong if you give them the credit. The credit for being strong, like, you know, allow them the honor of your honesty. And honesty is tough, more tough for you to be honest, almost than hearing the honesty because. It really points out your own inequities, foibles, wounds, humanity, et cetera. And it was really helpful for us to understand what the problems were. And because I'd been sexually abused as a child, my stepfather would sexually assault me and molest me. He did it repeatedly. He beat me. He beat my mother. I grew up in this super insecure household. I had to be the parent of my parents. They were so soft, so sensitive, so weak. My sweet artisan parents, know? And so, I was dissociating during sex with my husband. I was not orgasmic, and yet I was a horny little girl. I wanted great sex. I wanted to, you know, I wanted to have it, I just didn't know how to do it. And so we started on this journey to heal our marriage. And we did the therapy, and I worked through getting to forgiveness for my transgressor, realizing he had a shittier life than I did, and I could move past this and learn how to be present during sex. We did have some great sex workshops at the time. We learned expanded orgasm practice, which is basically yoni massage and clitoral stroking without requirement to to, to repay. No quid pro quo. No you do me, I do. You just, I'm going to do you, I'm just going to do you, you're going I'm going to do you as much as you need to get done.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 8:01

Yeah. And just receive it. Open that receptive vessel.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 8:04

Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 8:05

I'm going to fill you up. I'm going to awaken your yoni. And then we did a lot of G-spot work to do a lot of release. I can remember just like howling and things would come out of me that sounded like a banshee or a witch or a freight train.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 8:24

Like don't even recognize the sounds coming out of your body. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 8:29

Yeah, and you know, I would cry and cry afterward. I mean, for my husband to go through all of that with me. And I honestly think that for so many of us who've been traumatized, both male and female bodied partners, it's our lovers that can really help us because they have the time and the hands on touch. Because I am such a believer in somatic.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 8:54

Right. It has to come from the Soma. Yeah. Or it won't clear. Yeah. Now, I'm curious, Susan, did you know at the time that you were having these Banshee screams and all these emotions and all of what was going, did you, were you aware and conscious of that you were clearing these traumas that you'd had?

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 9:10

Did you know to trust it?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 9:12

Yeah. We were actively doing it.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 9:15

Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 9:15

We understood that this was a path to release. You know.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 9:18

What you were up to?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 9:19

We had a lot of good support. So that was great. A lot of mentors I've had, I have been so fortunate to have the most incredible mentors in the sexuality field. So, anyway, I kind of cleared that stuff and it was surprising how fast it happened.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 9:34

It is shocking.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 9:35

Hit it head on and you're like, I'm going to fix this is bullshit. You do. At least I was able to clear it. Now that being said, I'm a very fast and facile emotional processor. I understand that about myself. My husband on the other hand, he's a very slow, it'll take him months to really process something. So I do understand the range of how long it takes for people to do it. So I don't want my story to make anyone who just needs a lot more time to work through their stuff to feel like they're doing anything wrong, because you're not. And I really think that, now I'm learning that a lot of that is our genetic. And epigenetics, and that depending on the methylation of things like our serotonin and dopamine transmitters, we can clear or not clear quickly. I was talking to Kashif Khan. He runs a company called the DNA Company and they do genetic testing. it's more personality based genetic testing. It's quite interesting and one of the things that Kash and I talked about was I said to him, you know, one time I sent out an email. I have a sex tips newsletter, as you know, for many, many, many, many years. And really I should say that what I do in my world of sex stuff, as a sexpert is I create passionate love making techniques and bedroom communication skills. I'm not a trauma therapist or healer. I don't work one-on-one. I publish orgasm pleasuring skills, bedroom communication skills, and I show people how to achieve their orgasmic potential. I show them what they can do and then how to do it so they get there, through my books, through my writing, through free things, et cetera. So I'm focused on the plus up, but I understand that there's always trauma, shame, embarrassment. So what I'm doing in my techniques is a part of it addresses the insecurities, the shame, the dissociations the lack of awakening of tissue, the shutdown of the body. You know, I, I assume that people are entering into learning techniques with some of this baggage. Baggage, some of

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 12:09

Yeah. The journey. They've been on the journey and is that what you're saying? Like they're not beginner beginners. They're somewhere along the road?

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 12:16

On the path.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 12:16

And ready to advance whatever they've already collected, it sounds like.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 12:20

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 12:20

They're working on their sexual growth. we respond to our environment and part of it is based on our genetics. And I sent out an email to 400,000 people and I said okay, if you're not getting the sex you want, tell me what's holding you back. And the only thing that I don't want to hear from the people who are like, I don't have a partner, because that's not what this is about. This is about all the other stuff. And I got, I said I won't be able to answer you individually because there'll be too many people who reply to me. But I will get back to you with some ideas. And I saw these emails just filling up my inbox and I got hundreds and hundreds of responses. And Maurice, who's been with me for over a decade now. She and I systematically went through them and she put them on a spreadsheet. We read all of them and we looked at what the issues were, and a lot of the issues were health related because your libido and your health are two sides of the same coin. If you're not, well, you have no libido, so you got to go to the root of that. The other ones were people who, kind of hit a roadblock, you know, oh, my partner has ED, so we stopped having"sex," because in our mind, sex is intercourse, and so why do anything if it doesn't lead to intercourse? Again, that's a patriarchal vestige of religiosity that's telling us that what sex is intercourse, which is just hogwash. Now, I love intercourse, the caveat is that one of the main things that I do is help women, female vulva owners orgasm from intercourse. Because they think they can't, and then their partner thinks they can't and then they stop trying and it's literally a learned skill like all orgasmic response. We learn how to cum, so, one of the three books I'm writing right now is titled Orgasmic Intercourse. So I'm just getting all the stuff into me. I agree. All the stuff into it. So then I noticed that there were other reasons too, but it was mostly either health related, which includes mental health. Or it was betrayal, 20% of the responses were betrayal. So I was talking Kash about this and I was like, do you have any insight into this unusual thing where there's a group of people, let's call it 20% of people who cannot seem to process through their betrayal and get over it and trust again, and it holds them back from having the intimacy that they deserve? And he said, I do. He said, here's what's interesting, there are a couple of genetic snips that a large majority, about 20% of the population have that are serotonin related, serotonin and dopamine related, and they impact a person in two ways. Number one, when you think of the thing that happened to you, the abuse or whatever it might be, even if it's, I don't know, you know, obtuse rather than an acute memory. You know, It could be that it's not a sexual assault, it's just like the cumulation of all of the shame of the patriarchal religious oppression that we've grown up in the stew where the fish, we can't see the water.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 15:42

Yes. Conditioning

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 15:44

yes.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 15:45

belief systems.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 15:46

Exactly. For them, every time they think of the pain, it is as fresh as the day the knife went in. They bleed every time they think of it. The second thing is that they feel it like the wound is happening right now. And I'm like, holy shit, okay, because remember I started off saying I'm a fast processor. I'm able, I don't know why. Genetics, right? Genetics.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 16:17

You're serotonin.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 16:19

I can forgive, I can forget. I move forward. I let stuff go. I don't have remorse. If someone betrays me, I'm like, oh, that's a fucking shame. That, excuse me. If I curse I'd, I

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 16:29

fine.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 16:29

curse away.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 16:30

That's a shame that, you know, they're so horrible and that they treated me that way, but ugh, let them go. You know, that kind of thing. I can just move, other people cannot. So that is a very interesting new thinking. Like if you are struggling and you can't stop struggling, you are that, you may be that person who really needs extra support. You're not going to get through it yourself. So I wanted to make that point. Now, pivotal moments, you asked me about that, leah, and I'll tell you, I just had a pivotal moment. Here I am 61 years old.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 17:08

They keep coming these pivotal moments.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 17:11

They never end.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 17:12

Oh, thank God,

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 17:13

Thank God.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 17:14

Having the best sex of my life, really. Just multi-orgasmic from lots of different stimulation. Highly activated yoni, highly activated orgasmic body. Ability to stay in massive amounts of pleasure sensation, sexual self-confidence, comfort with my body turn on at a super high level with my lovers.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 17:41

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 17:41

So I'm having all of that, not to brag, but to say that you can get there and that this is.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 17:48

Women need to say, I'm having pleasure!

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 17:51

Great sex. But the other night, this was probably a week ago, so one of the things that I've been working on is my cowgirl orgasmic pleasure. So I like to lay my husband down and get on top of him and ha. And have enter him, have him, I enter him into me. Mm-hmm.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 18:15

Right, right. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 18:16

And my husband was very, very afraid for me to do cowgirl for a long time because when he was young, one of his girlfriends, I think it was Debbie, she

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 18:26

Do we have a

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 18:28

she

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 18:28

Debbie there.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 18:29

was Debbie. Damn you, Debbie and Karen Vanderplug. She kissed him and it weirded him out too. Like, he's got some traumas.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 18:37

Got his own trauma.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 18:38

He got his own traumas and Debbie hurt his penis and he's got a little kink in it that we've literally been trying to fix for decades. And he was afraid that if I was on cowgirl, I would break his dick, hurt him.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 18:50

Hmm.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 18:51

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 18:51

He's always been afraid. So my other lover, not afraid, wanted me on top of him, loved it, kiss me, play with my boobs, running commentary about his adoration for me while I'm using him for my pleasure. He got me to the point where I could be good enough that I knew what I was doing. I had the body movements kind of, you know, unconsciously competently worked into my muscle memory so that I wasn't going to hurt his penis. And my husband felt that when he would allow me to try, he felt that I'd gotten some confidence and he started to let go and relax and have a good time.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 19:29

Awesome.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 19:30

And the other day we were, we were doing a sex position. My husband's favorite is when I have my butt all the way to the edge of the bed and he's I have this little bookcase, I can stick one foot up on it on one side, and he can put pillows under my other leg so he can stand at the edge of our high bed. And I can use a toy on my clitoris and he can be penetrating me, and we just cum and cum and cum and it's super fun. super

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 19:59

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 20:01

But what I realized was, when he enters me, I have PTSD at 61

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 20:09

Hmm.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 20:10

about the fact that I was illegally entered. I was, I had a legal enter and break in from my sexual trauma, and I don't like it when someone else's control of the entry. Remember when I told you, when you put your penis in me, it brings my turn on down.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 20:25

That's right.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 20:25

It took me 20 years to connect the dots that I don't want someone to penetrate me, I want to first slide.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 20:35

Yes.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 20:37

I just figured that out at 61. And so it was funny because I wondered what it was about cowgirl that I loved so much. And it's not the speed of entry or anything because at first I was like, go slow, go really slow. You always enter me too fast, i, it's too much for me. You just, you know, you kind of lose your mind when you get that penis near that yoni and I just really need you to slowly, and it wasn't the slow it was. Who was in control. So that was a really interesting breakthrough for me. And honestly, I feel like now fast acting processor that I kind of like identified it and I can let it go. I don't have to have that like, ugh

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 22:29

Right,

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 22:30

Yeah, you broke through.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 22:31

Charge, Somehow the charge dissipated with the realization that it belonged in an old story that was complete. And now it, got to the surface and now it's moved out. Beautiful. What a great

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 22:45

absolutely beautiful. And I also love how this story really exemplifies the power of having multiple lovers of either being non-monogamous or poly. If that is something that interests you, I mean, there's a lot of value in it because, you know, as you said, Susan, like, using him for your pleasure. Like you, You were using him to break through to another level of your sexuality, another expansion, and and then you were able to take that to your husband. Now this is the same husband, right, that

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 23:15

30

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 23:16

with all along.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 23:17

30 years this year. Yeah.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 23:18

That is such a testament to the work because you guys were at the point where you were like, it is just not working, like we cannot get on the same page with sexuality. And that's one of the big things I think that, you know, breaks couples up and so you guys stuck with it. You did the work. You look at where you're at now? I mean, such an incredible journey you guys have been on together and you're probably so much more bonded, so much more intimate, all that honesty, all that connection. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 23:47

Yeah. Well, and it's been 30 years and you don't go through 30 years without having quite a few of those moments where you're like, okay,

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 23:54

This isn't going to work. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 23:55

This is messed now and we need fix it. I had a year like that last year, and with my husband and he being a slow processor, he needed to make a change about a relationship that was not serving me. And he did not want to give that relationship up. And he tried everything to figure out how to make us both happy and it just wasn't going to happen. And you know, I just, I gave him the space. I gave him the space. I gave him the space I gave him. All my friends were like, my God, I'd have been long gone. I'm like, I'm not going to leave my husband. He's my life partner. I've been with him longer than I haven't.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 24:34

Right.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 24:35

I've literally just crested over into longer than I haven't.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 24:39

That's a big deal.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 24:40

And we have a little hashtag#teamsweetie.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 24:43

Ah, that's great.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 24:44

We started that hashtag very early on in our relationship. And I told him this year was the first year that really tested and I always said his life is as important to me as my own life. And then I realized that's not true. His life is 99.99% as important as my life. But if he is doing something that is at such a level of disservice to me that I can't put up with it. I will have to leave. And I told him that and even then, it took him a really long time to to disengage from the, because of course the person didn't want it and she was trying to steal him from me. And ah, there was tons of drama and all this stuff. These are the risks that you run when you have multiple partners, sometimes things, and it's the second time it happened. And yet I continue to persist with multiple lovers because of the expansion. I feel like I am a conduit to, orgasmic potential for others. If I can't have a lot of experiences of different kinds, then there's no way that I could sit here and tell you what your possibility is. I have to push all the limits. I call myself an orgasmanaut because I go to the far reaches.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 26:09

Label your summit title, Orgasmnaut.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 26:12

Yeah, orgasmanaut Exactly.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 26:15

Orgasmanaut. Did I say it right?

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 26:17

You got it

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 26:17

Yeah, because I go to the far reaches of our orgasmic potential in all the 20 different ways we can have orgasms. The 20th one is wildcard. I'm always finding new ways to cum. Because I feel like if I can get a person on the journey of expanding their orgasmic pleasure, then the focus becomes on these learning and building skills and really being in pleasure and finding ways to stay in a pleasure. Going from an orgasm, to multiple orgasm, to extended orgasm, to expanded orgasm, to orgasm from different locations in the body. Orgasm from objects of pleasure, orgasm from specific techniques like deliberate orgasm, or extended massive orgasm, expanded orgasm. These guys or like erotic hypnosis is a way, you know? And so I really like to do all of those types of things and it requires me to have different partners and I love to have different partners. And just recently I said to the my two main partners, my husband and my boyfriend, and I've also had a girlfriend that I've been having experiences with. I was her ecstatic birth massage partner for the last year, all through her pregnancy, giving her yoni massages, belly massages, breast massages. She so she could have an orgasmic birth.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 27:46

Right on.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 27:47

And did she?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 27:48

Super hot at 45 she couldn't get dilated and ultimately had, at the last minute, after three days of labor, had a cesarean, but were like, hey, you had an orgasmic pregnancy all the way up.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 28:02

Yeah, yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 28:02

All, I mean, the night before

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 28:04

Happy, healthy little baby coming out.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 28:07

That baby is a happy baby. She had tons of orgasms in the womb. And so I recently said to my guys I'm really in this kind of expansion experience right now and I want to have a few other lovers in a very safe way. We do fluid bonded STD testing prior to love making. And I have, one of the books that I wrote I've written 44 books and programs! 44. Because sex is such a vast landscape and I want to meet people where they are. And my books are little hinges that swing big doors, easy short things you can do that massively increment your sex I'm thinking of the Soulmate Embrace. How to be held in a way you've never been held, so you can completely relax. Because if you're with a male bodied partner, your partner is trying to push your buttons and you know, spin your dials right away to get you turned on, they don't understand that arousal is in relaxation because they're doing patriarchal old school sex, not matriarchal sex. I spend a lot of time talking about what does matriarchal sex look like, and girl, and all my girls are like, that's what I want.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 29:21

Preach! Yes. Yes.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 29:22

So crazy. But I wanted to make a point about that. I was talking about the 44 books I was talking about something. I might have lost it. I have so many things that I want to tell you. What was, I'll come back to it if I think of it, but let's move on. Sorry about that.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 29:38

if I can just say this one thing like, because I'm sure there's a lot of listeners and viewers going, wow, I wonder what that's like to be in that body. Wow. Like she's describing so many amazing things. Like I feel like my body has a One Note potential. And she's talking about like an orchestra of orgasmic variety. And so I just, if you're feeling that way, connect to mirror neurons. Like especially if you can watch this, you know, see who, how vibrant and filled with vitality Susan is. See how she's just sparks and sure. The sparkle in her eyes means a sparkle in her smile. There's a radiance that comes from being a well loved, well fucked, well revitalized, orgasmic woman and we are all capable. There's nothing inside of her that is not capable inside of you. It's just going to look different because you're your own recipe. But her flavor, what she knows, the wisdom that she has in her body can be passed from her body to your body. You just think of mirror neurons, just say body. I want what she has.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 30:44

Yes. If I don't show you what's possible, how would you know? I remembered the thing too. So, one of my books is, called Relationship Magic, and it's not a sex book, it's a relationship book because sex starts out of the outside of the bedroom. And if you, so I think about libido, desire, and arousal. Libido is the health of your body. Desire is how you feel about yourself and your partner. And arousal is how our arousal pattern is different than our male bodied partners. And until we understand it, we're playing the patriarchal sex game and we're not going to be able to live to our full feminine sexual potential. And so my relationship magic's in the desire circle of things because if you don't get what you need outside the relationship, it's difficult to get what you need inside it. And it essentially helps you figure out your top four or five relationship values, the things you want most, the feelings you want to feel in being with a person in relationship. And my number one is security because I had such an insecure childhood. I need my partner to take care of me. My second is what I call freedom.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 31:48

Mm-hmm Mm-hmm

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 31:49

To do what I want to do, I'm a sovereign being. I own my pussy, I own my life. I'm, you know, and I want my partner to really keep their eye on my safety. My third is honesty. I love knowing what's really going on. My fourth is what I would call novelty and variety. I don't want to do the same things all the time. And I'm married to an introvert who likes to be on the computer about 10 or 15 hours a day. But I'm the girl who gets all the great invitations to go out and have all the fun times. And so he loves to go with me and have an incredible life and I love to do lots of crazy things. And so I was joking the other day to my boyfriends and we're all on a WhatsApp group together, we have video calls together. I tell when I'm with one, the other one's all hear what we did that was super hot. I share my frames with them.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 32:43

Best friends or is it a little different than that? Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 32:47

The, my husband and my boyfriend and I are a throuple and they're both straight, but they, I have, I've had over 500 threesomes with my husband and a male partner. I like those two men and a woman threesomes. I love that. Like just being completely swamped with love and pleasure.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 33:09

Sounds pretty healing to me.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 33:12

I know.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 33:12

Yeah. let's bring that, more of that.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 33:14

Bring it on baby.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 33:15

You know what, when a woman gets turned on, sometimes it takes a couple of partners to get you everything you need. So I was joking that my lovers, right now I have, you know, my, I've got my stringers, I've got my third boyfriend and I've got my kind of like lover on the side that I see whenever our schedules mesh and he'll have to screen in again because he is got other partners, but we, he's completely different.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 33:40

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 33:41

So I have my security partner. Who's my go-to? He knows how to give me the most incredible orgasms of all of them because he's been doing it for 30 years and he's just unbelievable. And then I have my, my fun and adventure guy, my boyfriend, he's very adventurous and athletic, and he was the one that let me ride him wild cowgirl, you know? So he's the like athletic, crazy sex positions guy. And then I have my other two, which are my variety and my novelty and my kinky and you know, so I'm literally I just was laughing the other day that my relationship values and my lovers mirror each other in this interesting way where I'm kind of satisfying these different types of relationships that I love to have that fuel me, and I just really, really enjoy that. So I mean, I don't think that for most women, especially women starting at the place of I am in trauma, are ready get four lovers or five lovers but, I can tell you that 20 years ago, I didn't even look at my vulva. I didn't even have orgasms. I did, you know, I didn't do any of this stuff at all. All I did was learn how to do it. And then I just happened to be the person who likes to write it down or shoot videos to explain it to you guys so that you can do it too. Here's what I'm having and here's the recipe to get there. That's all I like to do, is give people the map to the territory. So they're like, oh, I didn't know I could have that. Oh, and here's the recipe. I'm going to try. That sounds, I want to learn how to ejaculate. I want to learn have nipple orgasms. Oh. Oh, you mean you can have an orgasm going down on a cock? Oh, you mean it's not just for them, it's for you. When I give my guys blow jobs, which I like to call blow adventures.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 35:32

That's much better than jobs.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 35:35

Blow Adventures!

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 35:35

Blow experiences. Blow adventures.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 35:39

Oh my God. We're going to have you back just to talk about blow not adventures.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 35:42

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 35:43

Sure I'd be, you know, it was so funny. I was, I went, I was in Austin last week and with a few of my girlfriends and I went out to the Four Seasons bar and we were there for six hours. We hardly drank. We had like one bottle of champagne or something and had some snacks and stuff, but we just talked and talked and talk. And my girlfriend, she's like, can you tell me how to give my boyfriend a blowjob? And I'm like, sure can you show me how to use your essential oils for lymphatic drainage?

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 36:10

Love it.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 36:11

We traded wisdom.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 36:13

Yeah. I

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 36:13

Love it. Love it. That's best.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 36:17

I'm curious, Susan, like I know you're a fast processor, not everyone is but

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 36:22

Yeah. Yep.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 36:23

from the time where you and your husband were like, okay, let's heal this shit. Like I have this old trauma that needs to be addressed and from that point until what point did you guys decide to open up your relationship? And I'm sure there was many points along the path where poly or open relationship felt like a lot of work for you guys. So I'm just curious about that whole journey.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 36:49

It's never really felt like work. I mean, there have been times where we've had heartbreak and frustration over a particular partner. There have been times when partnerships have come to an end and I've let lovers go and that's never easy. It's funny because I had a lover for nine years. The reason I've had 500 threesomes is that I had a lover for nine years and every single week he would come and we would have multiple threesomes together with my husband. And so it racks up after a few years, you know, you do that for a decade and you get to 500.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 38:59

Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 39:00

And it was so much fun to learn how to start connecting and feeling each other through each other and creating those electric circuits that, you know, are across all our bodies and things like that. But it took about a year of therapy for me to just wrestle the trauma beast to the ground. And at the same time, we were concurrently going to sex workshops and learning how to make love learning actual skills. Sex. Sex is learned skills. Good sex is just, you just got to learn. Someone's got to tell you how to do it. And when you do it, then you're like, oh my God, this was not hard at all. It's just that you can't often figure it out yourself. It's better to have somebody teaching you things to do. And my particular style of sex, if you will, and by sex I mean all the things not intercourse. Is what I call heart connected, conscious, passionate love making. What I'm not teaching you kink or BDSM or any of those things. I am teaching you how to ravish and be ravished, and that could include holding you down, or blindfolding you, or things like that, sensation play or what have you. But I'm not, I'm really in that, how to open your heart. I had such an armored heart from being afraid to love. It took me more than a decade to actually start opening my heart to my husband.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 40:30

Right.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 40:31

I was so shut down.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 40:32

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 40:33

Deborah Anapol, I know if you remember Deborah. She passed away. She was such a dear mentor of mine, and she taught me that the heart is both a muscle and a door. And that to feel more love, you must love more, that you actually feel more love by loving than by being loved, and that you over time build that muscle and learn to take in the love by giving the love. That's where you start. I mean, that's exactly the kind of, you know, tip, that's transformational. That's a little hinge that literally swings a heart door.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 41:09

Right. Can I ask about a correlation with that in your experience? Could, can you see, is there a coincidence or is there something in sync with that de armoring of your heart, that opening of your heart as you went through the healing process that is led to a more expanded worldview?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 41:27

Oh yeah. Well, and I also, I think part of it is an expanded worldview of having much more compassion for everyone at wherever they are. But I also think all the oxytocin generated from all of the body touching and pleasure that I allowed myself to finally receive helped me be less annoyed with everyone. You know, oxytocin, they call it the bonding hormone, but what oxytocin also does is it lets you be less annoyed with everyone. Like if we could put that, if we could exchange fluoride for oxytocin in our water supply, we would be a lot less pissed off and get rid of a lot of the social media, fake news stuff we would have a transformed country.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 42:07

Yeah, we sure would. Oxytocin's a powerful one for

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 42:11

Yeah, it's a mood uplifter.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 42:12

Expanded and open, receptive. So good.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 42:16

So to finish off, was it hard to become poly? When we did those concurrent things, which were this, our own, in our own couples somatic healing. The work to come to compassion and forgiveness for my transgressor and get it all out of the trauma with the learning the techniques at the workshops and becoming good and starting to orgasm and enjoying ourselves and becoming multi-orgasmic together. Those were actually concurrent experiences. And when we learned how to be good in bed together, we're like, we should have sex with other people. Wouldn't that be fun? You know, it's like toy it's having a new skill. Let's get some players on the field, you know?

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 42:54

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 42:55

And we started asking our friends if they wanted to, do stuff with us. And they're like, Ew, no, that's disgusting, you're gross. And we were like, oh, we pissed off our friends. They were super contracted that's horrible. And one of our friends, saw what we were doing and went, Suze, Tim. There are these things called conscious communities and I'm in a couple and I'd like to invite you in because I think your people are in these conscious communities. And that was what I was doing was this heart connected, conscious, passionate love making. I don't teach sex techniques. I teach that. And I teach what it's like to have that and get there and own it. The consciousness being present, overcoming your shame consent, you know, boundaries, all that is the conscious. The passionate is understanding how a female arousal cycle is totally different than a male arousal cycle, and being confident enough to honor your arousal. Like not faking it, not pushing yourself, not being penetrated or, and not doing anything till your body is like, I'd like to have I'm ready now. Allowing myself the time to get turned on, slowing my partner down to the pace of my yoni. One of my lovers that I just saw. He's a very technical guy, which I love because I'm kind of sapiosexual. Which means I like to have sex with really smart people like brainiacs give me

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 44:41

your

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 44:41

the Mensa people like, you know, my place to be would be like a poly conscious Mensa group. You know, I was like my idea of a great friday night.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 44:56

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 44:56

And I had a wonderful couple of days together and I said, Hey, you know how to do mid journey AI graphic creation. I was, there's this image that I would like to have. Could you see if Mid Journey would make it for me? And he's like, sure, let's go. And of course we're standing there naked in front of his standup computer desk, and I'm loving just how adorable he is standing there naked, doing mid journey. And I said, here's what I want. I want a picture of a woman. I'd love her to be naked. And originally we started out with the prompt. I want bricks to be shooting out of her, I want her legs to be in the air, and I want bricks to be shooting out of her yoni, building a wall. Well, we couldn't get the shooting out of her yoni thing because mid journey doesn't do any kind of sexual stuff at all. But we ended up with a woman in basically a transparent body suit so she kind of looked naked. It had a couple of pretend little AI generated buttons in the back that you could barely see building a wall. And that is a metaphor for me of, I always joke that every time you do anything sexually before your yoni is ready for it and asks you to give it to her that she manufactures another brick in the wall of your future sexless life. You are by rushing yourself and not honoring the speed, tempo, appetite, and desire of your yoni in that moment. Because she is a capricious little nymph. She wants different things all the time because we're on 28 day cycles and we have, I literally, you guys, I slept till nine o'clock this morning and we had a 10 o'clock call. I went to bed last night and I needed the sleep. You know, so we're always so different and so stop building the wall to your future sexless life by forcing her to spit out a brick because she's pissed, because she was penetrated too fast or she or you felt like you had to fake it or you didn't wait till you were fully lubricated, or you didn't wait until your yoni was literally sucking his penis in instead of him pushing it in. Like all those things. If you want this or you want that, ask for it. I don't know what I want, how do I know what I want? She's talking to you all the time. Your yoni is actually running the game just tune in to K L U V. That's the station, that's the radio station your yoni's transmitting on, and you can tune into her and she will tell you what you want. And then you are just your other lips, the ones on your mouth are the ones that can form the words. Her pussy lips can't make words, but your mouth lips can. So use those to tell your partner or partners what she wants, and you are just#teamsweetie.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 49:04

#teamsweetie

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 49:04

in service to your yoni. You work together to give yoni what she wants and then everything just flows and you start to go you start to climb up that upward pleasure spiral. I think about it like helix, the double helix of dna, the two lovers. Sometimes three that are

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 49:26

Or four.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 49:28

swirling around together and building this passionate turn on this really highly aroused desire for each other.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 49:37

Oh my God. Okay, Susan.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 49:38

So well said.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 49:39

I know. Phenomenal.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 49:41

Wisdom bombs left and right. I love it. Love bombs. Love it.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 49:46

good. So you're clearly a very sexually sovereign woman, right? You know your body, you know your sexuality, you know how to hold yourself. What does that do for your male partners? How, what does that allow for them?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 50:02

Well, first of all, they are completely besotted with me.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 50:06

Naturally.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 50:07

Constantly waiting for the next moment to be intimate with me. They're in a constant state of excitement and turn on and support and love, and they're just like, literally like a gong. They're like, ah, I love this girl. So they're always making dates with me. They want to know the next time we can be together. So do I. Like you go from wondering if you're really up for sex to putting it on the calendar to make sure it happens and you know, setting up your dates and things. So they totally love me, they support me, they, they encourage me, they adore me, they worship me. They support my awakening and my expansion. They're along for the ride. Honestly, I'm like this, you know, super sexy woman shooting through the air and all these guys are holding onto my cape.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 51:01

They're riding the Shakti waves with you, you know, so they get to go along and increase their vitality and you guys are just spinnng vitality back and forth to each other.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 51:10

I'm curious, of course they're in love with you and worshiping you. That goes without saying, but I'm curious more like what does it allow for them to feel inside of their own bodies? How does it change their relationship to their sexuality and how does that change their you know, other sectors of their life, their work, their health, their, all that?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 51:31

I think that this whole notion of just being super honest and being present in the moment to what we can possibly co-create. One of the things that they feel is very confident that there's always going to be a fun adventure, whatever it is, we're going to make it up in the moment and we're going to have fun. So there's a lot of variety for them. They feel very studly and masculine. They feel very accomplished because I can cum so well with

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 51:54

Ah-huh

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 51:55

them. They love their penises. I've got them all pumping, using a penis pump to keep, because I mean, I have boyfriends that range from one's 50, one's 56, one's 59, one's going to be 66 this year, he's 65. And they have to maintain their erectile functions. So they get gains waves. They do P shots, they pump their penis, they sunlight their ball. They're all working on keeping their manhood not only as good as when they were 20, but even better. They've got more skill, they're multi, they do full body male multiple orgasm, they've got fantastic stamina. They've got sexual self-confidence. And when they have other lovers, which they do.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 52:42

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 52:43

They know how to treat their other lovers. They know how to, one of the things that they love the most is that they take all the experiences we've had together, and then they help other women open to their orgasmic potential so they feel so good about themselves.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 53:01

Like

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 53:01

Look you, Susan

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 53:02

the whole sisterhood.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 53:03

the men.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 53:04

just has a chain effect. Yes. Yes. Ripple, ripple, ripple. I love that. Oh, I want to ask you a question about that. What's the favorite technique? Does anyone have like a favorite, the pump or the gains wave or the injection?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 53:21

The pump is the number one thing you do. So the gains waves are a series of six treatments. So you go into a practitioner that does it, and it knocks the plaque off their penis, and it stimulates new tissue growth. It keeps the overall penile volume good. It makes them real firm. It's sound waves, that's exactly right Leah. And it keeps them real firm. But the pumps, they pump two or three times a week. That brings the blood flow into the penis. It increases the blood carrying capacity of the penis. It expands the capillary system and it actually stretches through the vacuum. It stretches both the skin of the penis and what's called the tunica albuginea which is the membrane that kind of holds the spongy tissue inside the penis. And so the pumping, who knew I was going to turn out to be the queen of penis pumps.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 54:12

Of penis pumps.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 54:13

Someone's got to hold that crown.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 54:16

I really do. I really love to help men.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 54:20

it.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 54:21

I love to help men optimize their penile potential. and I also, I'm a big woman I'm almost six feet tall. And I've got a giant yoni. Like one of the things I'm working on right now is an article about deep penetration and cer what are called cervical orgasms, but there's so much more than that, but that's like the placeholder name for it. And so I need pretty large penises to kind of really fill me up and take me to my, I can have fun with a smaller penis.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 54:50

Right.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 54:51

But I like to be big and

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 54:52

you like to be filled up?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 54:54

strong and solid and hard and veiny and healthy and that's what I like. So that's what I create with my partners. So when I, have a partner who has atrophy, they've been in a long-term sexless relationship or what have you, I got to do the remediation. But I love watching them fall back in love with their man hammer. It's so nice. I just love it.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 55:20

That's a new one for me. I love it, man hammer.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 55:24

I got so many names for a penis.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 55:26

Oh my God. You should write a book on that, or have you already, is that one of you have?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 55:31

It's called Pumping Guide, and over 40,000 copies have been downloaded. I've helped. I am not going to say hundreds of thousands, but now tens of thousands of men discover the benefits of a vacuum erection device. And by the way, there's lady pumps. I pump my vulva and my clitoris in addition to doing femme waves and O shots because at 61 I have the most beautiful yoni. It was funny. I'm with my newest boyfriend and he and I have only been together a few times and he was down between my legs. He was going to go down on me, but I was giving him what I like to call a pussy tour. You know, I was showing him all the parts because I'm kind of a genital anatomy geek and I was showing him everything and how they like to be touched. I like my outer labia needed between your fingers. I like this little line across my mons, I want you to go back and forth with your fingertips, and I don't want you to touch the skin. I want you to touch the tissue, the meat below the skin and press, but not too hard. And I've got this little thing right here on the top quadrant that I must have gotten damaged somewhere. So I really want you to do a circular, you'll feel it. Do a circular motion to get the blood flowing through there. And then I want you to stroke my clit hood like it's a violin string right across the top, you know? And I keep going and going and going and going. And I said to him, because I like to have adoration. My partner says I have an adoration kink. And I said, ah, people want, that's not a kink. Kinks are things that are an unusual thing, a non-normative thing. Adoration is normative.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 57:12

Yeah.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 57:13

If the woman herself can't receive adoration, her pussy will respond

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 57:16

She wants it.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 57:17

regardless. It is amazing to witness.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 57:20

And I said to him, would you please adore my pussy while you're down there? And he said, well, the very first thing that's coming up for me is that she's so inviting. She's so open and inviting and there, available, just you letting me look. He said with my last partner. When I had this, you know, really long term almost sexless relationship, I felt like I had to like go in through the bush and open it up and there were like no trespassing signs with bullet holes in them.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 57:53

Oh yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 57:55

There's your beautiful pink pussy just open to me. And he says, I see that your labia are kind of still closed, and I see that you're open, but you're also wanting to be more opened by me and I'm also feeling it to be that you want it to be very languorous and very slow and unrushed. And that it's going to, she's going to open for me and I'm going to learn how to feel that.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 58:21

He's like a little pussy Oracle.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 58:25

but I just thought that was so sweet. I love that.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 58:27

sweet. You know what else you really demoed really well just there is, with her practice of understanding and feeling and connecting to her vulva, you're able Susan, to create wins. For the people who get to love and pleasure you, and by letting them know the variety of what expands you and opens you, that is such a gift. So many partners would love a roadmap, and you've invested the time to discover one. And I hope that inspires everyone who's listening because if you can really find out what your map is like, and knowing that the terrain's always going to change that's the exciting part. Then you are always, there's an opportunity, to win with each other. And that's what I think most people most want is they want to feel like they're in their relationship, they're headed in the same direction. And that is we, everyone gets a win. Woo-hoo. So many people feel like they're losing in sex, you know? Like there's a test and there's failure, and they take it too seriously and they're too goal oriented. So I just yum.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 59:31

And if you want to keep winning with sex, then you need to get on Susan's mailing list and start tuning in with all of her

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 59:37

Yes. I'm going to be headed there.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 59:39

Susan, how can, our listeners and viewers find you?

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 59:44

You can find me at it's a, it's an unusual website. It's called PersonalLifeMedia.com. And there's a big search box at the top and you can search on anything and it'll get you into a million. I've been doing this for, you know, decades. And then I also have a video website, Betterlover.com, and I think there's two videos on there that might be really good for the. There's a couple of videos. I did a whole series with Ariel Giaretto, who does the Somatic Experience Technique, sexual healing. I'm sure you know Ariel she's legendary. She's a train the trainer. And if you type in sexual healing at the top of betterlover.com, you'll come up with a whole series on somatic healing that shares her wisdom and my experiences. It also has a really good series of videos on yoni massage. I've worked a lot with Amara Charles and Quadoska category. And there's another video that I think is really good is how to make love to an old lady. I love that. I also love passionate love making step by step. Which totally reframes what"sex" is into the matriarchal perspective. So there's some good videos there. And then I'm on Instagram.com@SusanBratton and I also have an OnlyFans.com where I post things that I can't post anywhere else. That are educational and sensual and sexy. That's not so much, women aren't going to go to Only Fans. But I'm saying it because at 61 I'm still showcasing how things are done using my body as the vehicle for demonstrating techniques. And I'll tell you, a lot of the guys go there to see the yoni massage technique so they can do them for their female bodied partners. So,

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 1:01:30

That's so valuable.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 1:01:31

of what I'm doing. Yeah.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 1:01:32

I love it.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 1:01:33

Great. Thank you so much for having me.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 1:01:35

Oh my god, what a pleasure.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 1:01:36

It's really, really great to be part of your world. I've admired the two of you from afar for so long that it's nice to be connected finally.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 1:01:43

Oh, likewise. I can't wait to dig into your content further. I'm already imagining conversations I'm going to be having with my husband. Like it's just going to like a new adventures on the horizon and

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 1:01:53

Yay. I like adventure. arousalsecrets.com. I walk women through their whole genital structure and how the parts like to be touched and different ways to know that you're getting turned on and to understand how to slow down and listen and all that, which is kind of what we talked about.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 1:02:13

Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 1:02:13

So arousalsecrets.com.

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 1:02:17

And it was kind of fun. I was, as I was just peeking at your website while you were telling it, I was like, oh, Sheri Winston, I wondered if you had crossed paths with her.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 1:02:24

Oh Sheri's one of my mentors. She's taught me so much. As a matter of fact the arousal tips is Sheri and I talking about how to get turned on. So that one's a nice one too. Yeah, she's a doll. She's been, my dear friend for decades. Yeah, she's, I'm so lucky to have so many good mentors.

Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host: 1:02:41

Good mentors. Yeah.

Susan Bratton | SxR Guest Sexpert: 1:02:43

Aren't we all?

Leah Piper | SxR co-host: 1:02:43

we'll, thank you Susan. Can't wait to continue this relationship and everybody love, love, love, love, love to Susan and her whole life.

Announcer: 1:02:52

Now, our favorite part, the dish.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:02:56

Bratton.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:02:57

Dish it up, girlfriend. Dish it up.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:03:00

what a dish. I am like so inspired by that

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:03:03

Oh my god,

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:03:04

I thought I was over uh, non monogamy. I might be changing my tune

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:03:08

You,

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:03:09

interview.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:03:09

I know. She's like, she's just, she might even change my mind. Yeah, she's really inspiring and filled with life and really knows her stuff. You can see what a sex geek she is and I gotta say. I do love a sex geek. I love, love people who love knowing all the,

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:03:26

yeah. It's amazing, and you know, I love how many times she claimed her age. I'm 61! I'm 61! I'm 61! And she looks phenomenal, first of all. And she's got all these amazing biohacks that she talked about at the end for your vulva. Not for your skin on your face, but I'm sure she has biohacks for that as well. But just ways to keep yourself fresh and juicy and young and vital through menopause. I would actually love, one of the questions I really wanted to ask her at the end, but we didn't have time, is about her journey through menopause. We got to hear all about her journey through healing her trauma and her journey to becoming open in her marriage.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:04:05

There's so many interviews I want to do with her. Like, she's, she's just like a funnel of wisdom and I want to tap into it. Like, it'd be so fun to do an episode of what you call them, adventure jobs. No, blow adventures. So fun.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:04:20

blow job. Oh yeah, I think it

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:04:21

was blow adventure. Yeah. And then I love the idea of, um, having her on for, see what her insights are around menopause and see what her insights are around the cervical orgasm. I mean, there's just, oh, and then there's just the whole penis erection topic. Um, I

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:04:37

did she, she had

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:04:37

able to illuminate, um, the gains wave and,

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:04:42

had never heard of

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:04:43

Oh, really? Yeah. Um,

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:04:46

Takes out plaque in the penis,

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:04:48

yes, it works with sound waves that, um, help build collagen, takes out plaque. Um, I don't know exactly what the device looks like. I know a couple people who have one that use it to treat people. Um, and it really helps with, I'm going to probably butcher the name of this, Peroneus disease, Peronanos

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:05:08

I know what

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:05:08

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, um, which is like when your penis is kind of crooked, um, yeah, it helps correct the curvature. Um,

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:05:19

but not always, yeah,

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:05:21

but I mean, I've worked with men who, who do injections. I've worked with men who have worked with penis pumps, so I'm pretty familiar with some of the techniques, but I don't feel very like educated as much as I would like to be. And, you know, I've just been able to dabble a little bit due to, you know, people being honest and

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:05:40

Well, we got to get her book. She has a book on fucking everything. Forty

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:05:44

Oh my god, so many great books.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:05:46

She has a book on penis pumps. She has a book on how to communicate inside of

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:05:50

just uh,

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:05:51

I mean, she's a wealth of

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:05:52

and she's got all this Yeah, I was looking at her when we we ended the interview was kind of checking out her website and tons of video content I mean, she's just what a service she's providing people.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:06:03

Yeah. Really cool. Yeah. What was your favorite part about the interview? Like, what did it inspire inside of you?

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:06:11

I just really it was really interesting. I didn't know that she had a sexual traumatic So it's really interesting for me to experience her experience. There was a lot of resonance, you know, she's really fiery. And so there was a part of me that could see some of me, like there was a familiarity, like we came from the same tribe or

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:06:33

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:06:36

her flavor and her, um. You know, she just, she's sharp. She has embodied knowledge. That's what it is. I like that I can feel her embodied knowledge. It gives her credibility, trustability, and even if her lifestyle scares the pants off of you, um, hopefully that's a good thing. Get your pants off. Um, You know, you don't have to follow anyone else's model of values, but to be able, to be curious enough to appreciate the work and the journey that someone has been on to go from contracted to expansive, that can look a thousand different ways for everybody. And I really just love her modeling of her particular journey and the, and the permissiveness, um, that she brought to the table. Yeah.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:07:25

think she can be a really great inspiration for women who are, well for everyone, but specifically women who are have given up on sex because they've been in sex, you know, marriages where it's not comfortable, sex doesn't feel good, starting to go through menopause, atrophy of the tissues, not enough lubrication. I mean, these are all issues that all female bodies are going to go through during this transformation in our lives. And, um, there are ways, there are many, many ways, and it's not going to happen on its own. It's a practice and it's something you pay attention to. She was talking about vulva pumping. She has an apparatus

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:08:01

I want one of those. Yeah.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:08:02

the vulva.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:08:03

remembered. Yes. I want to try pumping my vulva. Fuck

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:08:06

yeah.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:08:08

Yeah. Let's get that pussy fat, baby. That's the best. Yes.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:08:14

flow forward, people. Bring the blood, you know, we work out our bodies, we work out our brains, we do those Sudoku brain games to keep our brains sharp, right? So why wouldn't we do these practices in these things to keep our genitals sharp and on point and like, Healthy throughout the rest of our lives. Some of, you know, some of my oldest, um, like most elderly, I would say Tantra clients have the most amazing sexual energy that I've ever seen.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:08:45

Amazing.

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:08:46

phenomenal,

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:08:47

Inspiring. Yeah. I, you know, I was It's interesting because I was, um, I mean, we're probably close to 15 years apart, me and Susan, um, and I was just thinking, you know, I'd like to grow into that more. Like, that is, that is something I can aspire to. Um, I have, I have lived in that radiance Multiple times in my life, but I'm watching there's something she has that I keep on thinking in my body like yeah Yeah, yeah

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:09:18

Me too. Me

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:09:19

Like cheering

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:09:20

yeah, Bratton. Cause she's, she's the shit.

Dish | Susan | Leah: 1:09:28

yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, sweetie. Well, this was fun. Thanks Suze and we'll catch y'all in love. Flipside. Love, love, love

Dish | Susan | Willow: 1:09:35

ciao.

Announcer: 1:09:37

Thanks for tuning in. This episode was hosted by Tantric Sex Master Coach and Positive Psychology Facilitator, Leah Piper, as well as by Chinese and Functional Medicine Doctor and Taoist Sexology Teacher, Dr. Willow Brown. Don't forget, your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.