The Sex Reimagined Podcast

Allison Guilbault: The Dark Truth About Why Successful Women Can't Enjoy Sex | #113

• Leah Piper, Allison Guilbault, Dr. Willow Brown • Season 3 • Episode 113

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Are you a successful woman struggling with intimacy despite crushing it in your career? You're not alone. In this powerful episode, we dive deep with licensed therapist Allison Guilbault into how unresolved trauma affects sexual confidence and what you can do about it. From working with sexual assault survivors in NYC hospitals to conducting FBI research and even counseling at Rikers Island, Allison brings a wealth of experience to her current work helping high-achieving women reclaim their sexual confidence.


EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

  • Why successful high-achieving women struggle with intimacy
  • Managing perfectionism in sexual relationships
  • Balancing success and vulnerability
  • How to break free from religious and cultural conditioning
  • The power of breath work in sexual healing
  • Why group therapy can accelerate transformation


EPISODE LINKS

KING & QUEEN OF HEARTS. Leah & Willow's King & Queen of Hearts Intimacy Toolkit is on sale. Buy Now. 10% off Coupon: KINGANDQUEEN10.

THE MALE GSPOT & PROSTATE MASTERCLASS. This is for you if… You’ve heard of epic anal orgasms, & you wonder if it’s possible for you too. Buy Now. Save 20% Coupon PODCAST20.

THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Buy Now. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20

LAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Buy Now. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20.

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Leah:

Hey there, it's Leah Piper, your Tantra expert here at Sex Reimagined, and I am with the beautiful and effervescent Dr. Willow Brown, your Taoist expert.

Willow:

I love that word, effervescent. Thank you, Leah. I'll take it today, especially after having Mexico belly yesterday and the day before. I'm glad I was feeling better today so we could interview Allison Gilbalt, who is a licensed therapist and empowerment advocate. Confidence, and Mindset Code. She's also an international speaker who specializes in anxiety, trauma, sex, and intimacy especially for women to help them let go of guilt and shame, say goodbye to anxiety, and live a life that is led by passion and purpose.

Leah:

Yes, she has had such a fascinating, um, career so far. You're going to hear all about that in this episode. So please tune in, turn on, and fall in love like we did with Allison.

Announcer:

Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Leah:

Allison, thank you so much for being with us today.

Allison:

Thank you so much for having me.

Leah:

Yeah, so if I have your information correctly, first, we know that you are a licensed therapist, that you specialize, um, in trauma and in sexuality, and you are also a coach, and that you take women through different experiences, whether they're ready for an intensive or whether they're doing one on one work for you from a therapeutic standpoint, and that there's a combination that oftentimes you weave, um, together, um, and I'm assuming that's customizable, suitable to whatever a woman is working with. But do you only work with women or do you also work with couples and men?

Allison:

So, you know, it's, it's, thank you for asking. I actually started my career exclusively, almost, working with men. And I did work with, um, with couples as well. And in the last, I would say, maybe like four or five years, I just started taking on more and more women. And I just found that that's where my passion really lies. Um, you know, the difference between the types of trauma, anxiety, situations that men are going through are so very different than women. Um, but I really gravitate towards that like high functioning woman, the woman who probably has a really successful career, maybe even is like a very busy mother, possibly both, and is really working through, you know, some of that unhealed childhood stuff, you know, might be having really poor self talk, right? Possibly is dealing with imposter syndrome or that high functioning anxiety. And once I started connecting to this type of client, I just couldn't stop. So, um, you know, I've kind of redirected my focus. So I do still take men. I do not take couples. Um, that is a very special talent and I appreciate all the couples therapists, mine included. Uh, you do that work, but it's, it's just not for me.

Willow:

Yeah, I'm so curious, like, what, what you're speaking to. I'd love to go a little bit deeper into, you know, what you see as like, as the difference that in, in working with men with sexual trauma versus women, like, what are some of the bigger highlighted pieces?

Allison:

Yeah, you know, for women, a lot of the times, you know, sexual trauma, um, I was, I started my career in a hospital, right? So my first experience, and I pretty much only saw women just by nature of just who showed up when I happened to be working there, um, and the women would show up in the immediate aftermath of a sexual trauma. So I was the first person. That they would connect with right other than the doctors, but I was the first like mental health person and you know What I what I noticed the most about women is there is so much shame around their own sexual trauma, right? It was it's very ingrained in us to sort of question like well what did I do to invite this and as we all know that that's you know, no one can invite a sexual trauma, right? There's there's just nothing that we can absolutely do that would invite that type of you know, experience. But so for women primarily, a lot of what I do is work through that shame, right? Giving it a voice, being able to talk about it. Where the men that I have seen, a lot of their childhood, a lot of the trauma really started in the more of their childhood. And I don't know if this is just the demographics of the particular clients that I've, I've worked with. So, you know, most of my clients with women, um, most of my women clients, really a lot of the trauma was in adulthood. And a lot of the men that I've been working with were more, Towards childhood.

Willow:

That's interesting. So there's, there's probably, well and also I guess societally and like the stigma of being a man who's been through sexual trauma, like there's just a lot more to unpack and a lot more to work on and, and how to really get them in touch with their, their feelings and their emotions around it all. So it's so interesting. I always think of women as more complex, but the way that you're kind of speaking, it's like, well, in this scenario, in this case, it's like the men are actually more complex.

Allison:

Yeah. And you know, certainly not to say that women don't experience childhood trauma, of course they do. And, and, you know, men very commonly, um, you know, can experience adult trauma. I think it's just maybe the correlation of who comes forward and what they're willing to talk about.

Willow:

Mmm,

Leah:

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Like, statistically, it'd be interesting to find out. And of course, this statistically isn't really an always an honest answer because it's so much of it is dependent on people coming forward. And many of us. um, don't come forward. We try to process these things on our own. We never involve, um, the police or authority figures, but I'm curious how many men are experiencing sexual assault as adults versus as children. Um, I think children are obviously easier to prey upon because they're smaller and they're not as strong and they can't fight back. I think Women also, if the predator is a man just muscle mass wise has a much harder time fighting off, um, someone as well. So very interesting, you know, I don't know that we've really discussed, uh, the prevalence for sexual violence or sexual assault, even nonviolent sexual assault between adults, whether the victim is a man or a woman, but seeing as though your We're so impacted being one of the first people to interface with someone who's likely an adult coming in and into a hospital situation. So are the cops involved at that point? I'm assuming the hospital might be the first step.

Allison:

Yeah, the hospital is, is the first step, right? So, you know, again, if someone is coming in through a hospital, they're, they've usually suffered some sort of, you know, medical trauma as well, right? So they're in pain, um, there's something that needs a medical attention. And so when they're brought into the emergency room, and I exclusively worked in New York City emergency rooms, I worked at two separate, um, emergency rooms, they get paired up with me, right? And I become their advocate. And so really whether the police get called or not is fundamentally up to them. And I mean, I don't want to say unfortunately, I would say the statistics, at least in my experience, most people do not contact the police.

Leah:

Okay, so they don't press charges. I'm just fascinated by this. I don't know that we've really spoken to like, sort of like the first responder in this kind of scenario. So can you walk us through some of the steps? I know you probably, you don't work in a hospital now, do you?

Allison:

I don't know. I'm

Leah:

Okay, okay, so we'll get to your private practice, but, but fill us in a little bit about what it's like for, for someone in your position, starting out as that first person who begins this with someone who's just having, I mean, okay, here's first question. I'm sorry. I know I'm like asking you eight questions all at once. I'm kind of, this is typical of me. Okay, they come into the hospital. Has, is it typical that this has just happened or is it more typical that it's been days since it happened?

Allison:

You know, in my experience, you know, I'm sure people do arrive days later. In my experience, actually, I would say, I don't know that I had one that someone came in days later. It was also in the immediate aftermath. Uh, and you know, so what happens? They come in, right? And, you know, obviously they're triaged, right? Yeah, they get through just like any typical you know, ER experience, right? You get your blood pressure, and then you get hopefully a room. And part of me as an advocate, those are some of the things that I would fight for, right? Because sometimes they're just, you know, it's New York City emergency room, right? Resources are often limited. So someone might just get caught and be in a hallway, right? So one of the services that I offered was really advocating that they have a private space, right? Even if we just have the curtain around, we don't want someone on a stretcher in the middle of a waiting room, right? We want to give them that private space. Um, A change of clothes, right? And there's um, all sorts of things with, with, you know, unfortunately rape kits, where we have to be very careful about the clothes. So if they are going to change their clothes, that is, and they almost have to make the decision whether they're going to call the police or not then, right? So we don't want someone coming in and just giving them a hospital gown, right? Because that becomes evidence on like what might potentially be on their actual clothes, right? So when, if, if you do involve the police and a police do a rape kit, one of the things they'll do is lay down like a sheet on the floor and you'll have to like subtly undress, right? So even that is something that where I would come in, right? We want to still, like, there is a police proceeding, right? They have to do it in a certain way, but we can still grant someone modesty, right? We can still make sure that they're doing it from an empathetic standpoint, that we're giving them the time to take off their clothes, right? These are vulnerable. Things that we do, period, right? Taking off our clothes in front of a stranger, anybody who's had to get naked in front of a doctor, that's an uncomfortable experience, but certainly in the immediate aftermath of something that's happened that's been severely traumatic, right? We need all of the extra patience, empathy, compassion.

Leah:

Right, because that in and of itself is traumatic. I

Willow:

know, I'm like, this sounds like a trauma on top of a trauma, yeah. So you're, you're basically then standing there with them and, and advocating and supporting and helping them. And is it usually, if it's a female rape victim, is it usually a female police officer?

Allison:

Yeah. Yeah.

Leah:

geez. My heart is just sinking just, you know, thinking about all the people who've lived through something like this.

Allison:

Yeah.

Leah:

How did you emotionally take care of yourself during this time?

Allison:

You know, Good question.

Willow:

Yeah.

Allison:

something that I was so, so deeply passionate about. Um, from the time I was a teenager, right? I would, my, my mom would be like, Oh, so what do you want to do when you grew up? And all my friends were like, I want to be a veterinarian. I want to be a teacher. And I was like, I want to work in SVU. Like, I want to do special victims unit. I really, I want to get, I want to work for the FBI. So for, I don't know if it was from TV or like where this natural interest came in, but I was just fascinated with, you know, the idea of helping people through some of their darkest times. Like that trauma work has always been something that's really important to me. And, you know, I did that type of work from a clinical standpoint, but then I actually later partnered with the FBI and did it from like a research based standpoint. I,

Leah:

Wow. That's

Willow:

Thank you for doing that work in the world. I mean, thank you for having that innate desire and like following it because even, you know, having the desire, but then following through with it into your adulthood is a whole nother journey. So whatever has led you along is pretty phenomenal.

Leah:

Were you called into court when people did press charges? Would you have to testify?

Allison:

You know, I suppose that you probably could have, um, that didn't happen in my experience. I later worked, um, not in a hospital setting anymore. I worked, um, through an agency called Cases in New York City where I would, um, you know, later down the line, right now I'm actually their, their mental health provider. Um, not in the immediate, right afterwards. Um, that, in those cases I did go to court pretty often.

Leah:

Okay, okay, so you had, that was like your, one of your first in the world doing this type of work, like really powerful beginning training. What led you into private practice?

Allison:

Oh, I took a few jumps to get there. So, I first worked in the hospital, and then I took a research stance, right? And so I did all the back end, um, and I worked with the FBI. And then I actually switched. So at some point in my career, I decided, okay, I understand what it's like to work with the survivors of assaults, but I'm really curious on what it's like to work with the offenders of, you know, the offenders

Leah:

Oh,

Allison:

I Yeah, I took a job actually in Rikers Island in New York City, um, which is a jail, a pretty infamous jail.

Leah:

Fame, yeah, yeah.

Allison:

And I worked in solitary confinement with all men. Um, so I did that for a while and it got me quite a different perspective on trauma work. You know, I'd like to say that like, I don't think anybody ends up in Rikers if they haven't

Willow:

Been through

Allison:

throughout

Leah:

I was going to say, I bet every single one of them also had sexual trauma.

Allison:

Yeah, and of course, that's like no excuse, right? I'm not

Leah:

No, not at all. But it helps us make sense,

Allison:

does give some context to that kind of a thing. Um, and then after that, um, I did a few more, a few more little, um, positions in various agencies. And then eventually I was like, all right, I kind of need to slow down a little bit.

Willow:

Gosh, I'm so curious, like, how old were you when you were working at Rikers? What's the timeline of all of these really intense, like, different

Allison:

I was in my early thirties. Yeah, I was in my Early thirties.

Leah:

okay.

Willow:

So when you finally got into private practice, um, you started with men, you were coming off of that kind of, that time at Rikers, so you're like, hey let me keep working with men. Interesting.

Allison:

I thought.

Leah:

Can can you share a little bit about your time at Rikers? Like, A, what was the most touching or profound experience you had with one of the inmates? And then also, what was maybe one of the most disturbing?

Allison:

you know, I, one of the, the one instance that's just sticks out in my brain probably forever is I was working, so I was there, I was their therapist, right? So I was in solitary confinement, which meant there was a huge motivation to be with me, right? So they want to get out

Willow:

Yeah, they're like, let me just

Allison:

I don't know that any of those men would have been willing to sit in a room with me. But because, um, I was like, I gotta get out of my cell. They would come meet with me. So I would do, um, individual once a week and we would do group therapy, um, every day. And because they were in solitary, you know, they still had to be cuffed, right? So I would have like a very orchestrated room where I had my desk close to the door, right? They were handcuffed to the the floor and I was talking to one of the one of the men and you know his his offense had been actually abuse of his son not sexual abuse, but but physical abuse. And I said to him like can you walk me through that day? Like what happened that day? Like what brought you to hurt your child? And He looked at me with just absolute Shock, right? And he was like, well, why wouldn't I hit my kid? My daddy hit me. My grandpa hit him You Right? That's just what you do when kids get out of line. And it was such a powerful moment in my career, right, where I've thought back to that moment many times, right? I'm lucky. I grew up in like, you know, every family has its own, its own crap, but I relatively grew up in a home without any type of abuse, right? What would have happened if I grew up and I didn't learn coping skills? I didn't learn about emotional regulation. I had no support, right? Would I be the parent that I am today? And I would like to say yes, right? But how the hell do I know that, right? Probably not. So, you know that to me though a disturbing story was really such an aha moment in my career where I was like, we need to give people resources We need to give them education. We need to give them guidance. People do better when they know better, right? And so, you know, that was a pretty profound um, the experience.

Leah:

Um, working one

Allison:

uh, on the like, what's the most disturbing, oh man, lots of things go down there, so I'll keep it marginally PG, but I was working one day with a, uh, with a client, and like I said, they were handcuffed to the wall, right, so Um, I was talking to him, I don't even remember what we were talking about, just general stuff, and he sneezed, right? And so when he sneezed, he went like, ACHOO! And I realized that his cuffs were no longer attached to the wall. Yeah. And I like, knock on the door, and I was like, hey, officer, can you come in? And he was like, come on, you know me, I'm not gonna hurt you, like, it's fine. And I was like, Oh, right, like, I'm I'm still in a jail, right? Like a lot of these people are opportunists and the woman that I replaced before me, the reason I replaced her is she actually had one of the inmates break her jaw. Right. So, you know, again, he was, it was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Right. So I was like, this is, this is a, this is a reminder to me that I have to really, you know, make sure that I, that I keep my

Leah:

diligence with your own safety. Yeah,

Willow:

yeah, I mean, you really want to, I'm always somebody who wants to just trust people offhand, like the second that I met them, but I'm sure that time at Riker's has really given you that, like, discernment. Stronger discernment. Now, did you carry that into your private practice with men? Like, were there clients who would come to you and you'd be like, actually, we're not a fit to work together because of this app?

Allison:

Yeah. You know, I remember when I moved to private practice, right. So, you know, in one capacity, I'm not working with people that potentially have, you know, they don't have any criminal history that I'm usually aware of, um, but at the same time, it's almost a little less safe, right. Because I'm not now just sharing space. I don't have an officer outside my, my door. I don't necessarily have their entire inventory of their story. And, you know, I remember when I took the job with my boss. And I was like, okay, you know, I specialize in sexual trauma. I do sex therapy, which is, you know, I do it from the trauma standpoint. And then just people who are working through sex and intimacy issues. And she was like, but don't you get really weird men, right? And I was like, no, that's not been my experience. And it was very quickly into. Doing it in private practice where I remember being in a session with someone and just like, I call it my spidey sense. Like everything about my spidey sense was just going off, that this person was just like a little bit too provocative, a little too like baiting me. Uh, And I, that was a tough, that was a tough decision for me, right? Especially when someone hasn't done something completely overt, right? There was nothing that like crossed the line completely, it was sort of like towing the line. Um, and that was the first client that I ultimately referred out and I said, you know, I don't think that this is the right relationship for me.

Willow:

Now, did you stop it in the middle of the session or did you wait till the end of the session?

Allison:

know, I didn't, I think back to, I think now I would have stopped it in the middle of the session or at least had more courage to say, Hey, this is making me uncomfortable. You know, what is the agenda here? I don't know that I had the clinical confidence back then, right. At the top of my individual career. Um, but now I would have handled that situation. So I just kind of got myself out of it. I ran to my supervision, to my boss. I was like, you're right, some people are creepy. Um, not every client is the right client for me. And, you know, part of like learning my, I do a lot of self worth learning. Talk to my clients and part of learning my own self worth is not just like the rate that I charge but the ability to say like this person isn't the right person for me, right? Like I am allowed to be selective in the clients in which I see.

Willow:

Right. Making choices from an abundance standpoint. I just want to highlight that for actually for all vulva owners out there. Like, really, like, making choices in your career path, especially if you are working in the sexuality industry, um, from a place of abundance rather than from a place of scarcity. Because when we start to make those choices from a place of scarcity, that's when we start to get ourselves into trouble. And so even if you do need the money or you're not really in an abundant moment in your life, like go inside and resource yourself and find that self-worth inside of yourself so that you are again, making a choice from, from that abundant place. So, so at what point did you switch over from working with men to women?

Allison:

You know, it sort of just fell into my lap, right? So, you know, men seek, especially in private therapy, right? Men seek therapy so much more infrequently than females do. So it just like, it dried up for me, right? I was like, okay, so I have more spots, and my boss came to me and was like, Hey, you know, Are you willing to see other people? And I was like, you know what? Sure, yeah, of course, of course I am. And so I started seeing a lot of teenagers, um, primarily in the queer community. Um, for some reason I just have like a very good rapport for, um, with queer teens. So I started seeing a lot of, uh, queer teenagers and I started bringing in women. And, you know, I lived in, at the time I lived in sort of like an affluent area in New Jersey, and I remember really conceptualizing it as, like, I'm selling out, like, ugh, right? Like, I'm in this fancy neighborhood now, and like, I've gone from this like deep trauma work and like the trenches of Rikers, I've been in hospital systems, I moved to Sri Lanka to do like work there with trauma survivors, and like now I'm in Montclair, New Jersey, and I'm just like, Talking to stay at home moms, right? And when I started actually doing the work, it's like, you know, every person on this planet, first of all, deserves a safe space. And we've all gone through our own stuff, right? So it may or may not look like, you know, these big T traumas, but everybody's got something to work through. And I actually found that like my rapport with these women were just Like it, it, it hit me in a way of all of the work I had done before hadn't, right? Like where I'm looking at these like beautiful, successful, wonderful women and they're just dumping on themselves, right? And they just like, don't see what I see. And I just want to go to shake and be like, no, we need confidence. We need empowerment, right? Like you can do this, you can do amazing things. And that's where it all sort of started to shift from there.

Willow:

Mm.

Leah:

I think that's interesting because I think for a lot of people, when they see people of privilege, they assume that there isn't, that their lives are perfect or that they're, if they have trauma, it must be so much smaller than other people from other communities. And it just goes to show you that trauma happens almost to everybody and in every home and it's not selected. And to compare it, like you said, big T to little t serves nobody. And that we all, we all have That we all, despite our lack of privilege and our privilege, deserve to have support and help in working through some of this stuff because it truly distorts the happiness of our future when it goes unrecognized, in some form or fashion. And so tell me a little bit about the transformation, especially for this, these other women now that you're working with that have some affluence. Um, what is like a before and after story? Like they came to you one way, and then they left your office another way after some time.

Allison:

You know, I, I spend a lot of time talking to women about, like, building their voice, right, and not continually making themselves smaller. So, I ran this, like, little social experiment one day, but every single female that walked into my office I complimented. And 100 percent of the women all negated the compliment, right? So when somebody like, Oh, I love you. You know, Sally, I love your hair. Oh my God, really? I didn't even wash it today. Like cute outfit. Like, Oh, it's my sister's. It was this constant minimization. So now, you know, some of the things I'll do is I repeat back to what they're saying. And I'm just like, did, did you hear it? Did you hear where we went with that? And I just had, right before I'm speaking to you, you all, um, I was just doing a, uh, a therapy session and I've been seeing this woman for seven years. And when I met her, you know, she didn't really know what she wanted to do, her relationship was a bit rocky, and just today she has built an entire business. She lives on this like gorgeous estate. She's quit all the jobs that like she didn't, she thought she needed and she's really invested now in like her passion and she has this big passion project. Her relationship is beautiful. And I like paused and I was just like, can we just take a moment to see how far you've come? Right? Like look at, I'm FaceTiming you, right? And I can see your house and your business. She works from home and I'm like, let's just. Like, what has changed? And you know, she said, like, my mindset. You know, back then, seven years ago, I really just didn't think that this stuff was possible. And I've slowly, because unfortunately healing and change happens quite slowly, right, slowly I've been practicing, you know, we call them mantras, we call them affirmations, I'm a brain science nerd, I call them neuropathways, right? But I do believe the more we think something, the more we tell ourselves, I am capable, I am worthy, I am lovable, right? All those cliche things, they actually do pivot what we start to think about ourselves,

Willow:

Absolutely. And I don't think it does have to take a long time either. I think that's also a belief that we get stuck in that it should, you know, I mean, whatever we believe is what we transpire. So, um, so with this piece around self worth, I'm curious, like, do you do some somatic work with them? Do you kind of get into the tissues and really like massage into their cellular being, like this, this piece around self? Yeah. How do you do

Allison:

Yeah, you know, so I, I sort of have a soapbox item where, um, you know, the idea that we have health and mental health is something that just like irks me, right? Because our bodies don't know the

Willow:

difference. It's all the same. Yeah.

Allison:

right? It's not a thing, right? So, you know, we have top down and bottom up. If we think something negative or we're thinking something stressful, our body actually physically responds, right? So our, like, our neck might get tight, right? We might start to clench our jaw. We can have even more physical manifestations of like, we get hives, our hair falls out, we get headaches, right? And the same thing, if we start to tell ourselves something calming, I'm safe, I'm okay, we actually start to see all that stuff melt away. Conversely, if I start to like tighten my fin, my fist, or like I shake, It actually starts to make my brain, you know, a little more buzzy. So something I try to work on with clients is, is really just like, drop, I always say like, drop down into your body. What are we feeling right now? Or where are we holding this? Right? And it's like, hey, if your shoulders are all crunchy, like, let's just take a minute and like, breathe in. Push them back, right? Like, let's just give this little neck massage here. No one likes to hear it. I don't know why it's such a tough sell by clients, but deep breathing works, right? So it does, right? Our bodies know that if we are in a fear state and we are in true authentic danger, we are not going to stop and take a deep breath, right? Like that's just, It's just not natural. So when we start to just like deep breath in, deep breath out, it does send those signals to our brain, you're okay, right? And the tough part about anxiety is it's a threat response to a perceived threat, but our bodies don't necessarily know the difference, right? Like whether someone is chasing us with a knife or we're thinking everybody hates me, our bodies can have the same physical responses, right? So really becoming aware, what is my body doing when I'm thinking this thing? is huge in shifting, you know, how we then deal with it, right? You can learn to control your thoughts. You can learn to control your body. It just takes practice. It's a skill.

Willow:

Yeah. Absolutely. Why are they resistant? I'm so curious to

Allison:

don't know. I like joke with them. I'm like, I'll try to have them do deep breaths with me. I'm like, okay, well, let's do this together. And I don't know if it's just like the observer effect that feels awkward, right? It's like, watch me. Um, But I will like, I dose that as homework regularly. Like, listen, fine. You don't want to do it in front of me, but like tonight, right? For, and we live in a world where there's no shortage of meditation apps, right? Like your Apple watch can teach you how to breathe, right? So just find the thing that feels less cringy to you and just try it. Because I promise you when you come back to me, you're going to feel better, right? It just, it works. It's magic.

Willow:

Yeah, breath is life. So when we learn how to access that breath and utilize it to weave in new synaptic pathways, you know, then we actually can recreate the lives that we feel like we're stuck in.

Leah:

yeah, I often say like the magic of breath is that it can help us heal our trauma. It can bring us into the precious present moment and it can give us the biggest, wildest orgasms. And so it is like, it is so worth it to learn how to breathe and also to discover methods of controlling your breath because it can relieve so much tension. And one of the things I love that you just said is that you're helping people track their body and where are they holding, because I don't think people, I don't think we often are also trained to deepen our awareness of what's going on with our body when we are uncomfortable, when we do feel anxious, what's happening in our body, when we've had a number of days and we don't want to get out of bed and we're feeling depressed, you know, our doctor's solution is to medicate us. And I, and I'm not, I'm a big believer in medication. I think medication does so many wonders. So many of us have brain chemistry that is off and medication is the key, but it's not the only key. In fact, not only is it not the only key. But it's not the finished key. It's what it opens up one lock, but there's other locks that something as simple as breath can free us and liberate us from feeling like crap and from feeling scared and uncertain. And so I'm going to really remember that this, this question of where are you holding it? I often think of like, okay, there's open and there's closed, but oftentimes it's like, well, where are we holding the closed? And it's so interesting how breath, if we can take the breath in and give it to that place, it can help unwind it. Uh, you know, I read the book, The Untethered Soul, not too long ago. And one of the things that stuck with me is when your heart feels closed. You can't just say, okay, I'm going to have it on my heart now. Like my heart shut down. But what you can do is just send the breath to your heart. Just, can you just open where it's tight by just one breath and then like another breath and then another breath. And it may take some time, but eventually. That heart does open again, and, um, how many of like the women who come to you are suffering from a broken heart or a closed heart?

Allison:

You know, I would say in one fashion or another, you know, all of them, right? So, you know, I think when we think of heartache, we immediately jump to sort of like relationship issues, right? But a lot of the women that I work with have, um, you know, a broken heart to themselves, right? It's just, I always say like, the words I often use are like realign, reconnect, reclaim, right? But they've, they've lost, they've like disconnected from confidence, from empowerment, to self esteem, to self compassion. Right, and that is like a lot of heart work, right, like we're gonna, we're gonna remember, you know, I get, I always said, joke, I like, there's no way to sound cool about all this, it always sounds like a little bit cliche, right, but it's like we, we have to remember like our soul, we have to remember our passion, right, right. We have to remember the things that we like. And, you know, I think often one of the primary issues that I help women work through is just like connecting back to themselves. Uh, and I saw this so much in COVID, right? Like in COVID the world ended and like, we didn't know what to do with ourselves. And so all of these people were just like, I'm bored, I'm lonely. Well, what do you like to do? And it was amazing to me how very few people could actually answer that question, right? Like even just fundamentally, you know, what fulfills me was something that maybe they hadn't asked themselves in a decade, right? Since they've had children, since they started their career, maybe both. So

Willow:

Yeah, I know one of the first questions I like to ask people is like, what's your, what's your relationship to your essence? And they have no idea. Like, what does that even mean? Which is the same thing of like, what do you like to do? It's just a different version of the same question. And it's, yeah, what brings you joy? What brings you pleasure? What brings you like, I'm so curious, like with the, with the women that you're currently working with this, this new, um, sort of audience that you serve, what, like, at what point Do they start to shift into, okay, now I wanna open up into more pleasure. Like my healing has, my trauma has healed to a certain point, and I'm asking, do they do that? And at what point? Mm-Hmm. Yeah.

Allison:

You know, I don't, I think I take it from a different approach, right? So, you know, the healing, I don't look at it as sort of like this linear path. Like we've healed, you know, we've healed the trauma, we've healed the wounds. Okay, now it's time for the pleasure. I believe that the pleasure will heal the wounds, you know? So a lot of the work I do kind of like at the tip top is we have to find your self care and self care is such a buzzword that people kind of like pull back on it. But when I say self care, I mean it. Don't mean just getting a manicure, right? Like, listen, I got my nails done. I love a good manicure, but that's not authentic self care. You know, what is authentic self care? Making time for yourself, having boundaries, right? Finding out something that just, you know, I love your word, like gets back to your essence, right? And we have to make time for that. And I think particularly for women, like the conditioning in our, our culture doesn't really speak to that, right? Like it subtly does like, yeah, self care is not selfish, do it. But, right, if I talk to someone and I'm like, No, you want to go to the gym? Like, Peloton's your, your jam? Like, well, go make time for it. The guilt that they have maybe taking time off of their lunch or not making dinner or taking, you know, putting their kid in front of the TV while they do this, that is more powerful than the drive for self care, right? So, we have to flip the switch, right? It's like, no, I promise, right, like, just trust me here. I've done a lot of this work and I, I work with a lot of people. I know it works. You have to trust me. If you start to make time for yourself, you are going to be a better entrepreneur. You're going to be a better mom. You're going to be a better partner. You're going to be a better person. You're going to be a better friend. So just prioritize that. You know, conversely, when I worked with men, I didn't really have to, that wasn't like a tough sell. Like I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm golfing on the weekends, right. I go to the gym, I listen to whatever they do, right. It's football Sundays. For women, it's, it's a harder sell, so I think like that leads us, like when we reconnect to ourself, we reconnect to the things we love, our passion, our essence, whatever you want to call it, that initiates all the healing, right? We're like finding

Leah:

cause I feel like so much of that self care that we provide ourselves is what gives us more energy than to go do all the things that's expected of us or that we want to do because those are the things that also make us feel good about ourselves. You know, is like who we show up as a boss, who we show up as an employee, who we show up as a mom, who we show up as a partner, who we show up as someone who loves to take care of their home. And when our energy is low, it's really hard to be resourced enough to do all those things well. And I think that's why, like, exercise is so powerful, because it really does give the brain so much of what it needs, and it seems counterintuitive, because it's like, here's this thing you have to, like, put energy into, so how in the world can it give us more energy back? It's one of those really kind of funny things in life. There aren't a lot of things in life that do that, but exercise is one of them. Well, I want to kind of make a little shift, a little segue into sex. So tell us about the work you do and, and I'm assuming helping women have better sex lives.

Allison:

Yeah, so, you know, why someone comes to sex therapy, um, might be a whole host of reasons, right? So, you know, I think a huge one for women is body shame, right? Feeling comfortable in the bedroom, like, what does that look like to show up really, really confidently? And, you know, so many it's like, oh, you know, I have sex with the lights off, I hate getting undressed, right? I would never wear lingerie. And all of that, again, is like sort of Making yourself smaller, right? And especially something like sex, where you have to be so present, right? To have good sex, you have to be present,

Leah:

Yeah. And naked,

Allison:

And naked, right?

Leah:

which is hard. Yeah. Figuratively and realistically, like there's a lot of actual significance to getting fully naked, like to your soul naked, which is where the best sex is.

Willow:

Oh, yeah. For sure.

Allison:

Right. So, you know, a lot of what we'll do is, is shift kind of like, okay, how can we start to build your confidence? Like what are the fears here? Is it a fear of rejection? Is it fear of, you know, um, performance, right? Where, where is, where is the hurt lying? And, and honestly, the answer is different for different people. They might, both, two women might both have trouble showing up and just taking off their clothes, but for entirely different reasons, right? So I try to get to that, you know, so that's one, right? Like the physical act of being that vulnerable is really scary for a lot of people, right? Certainly we've got body image stuff. Um,

Leah:

like the two different reasons? Cause I think that might be interesting for the audience.

Allison:

Yeah, you know, so someone may, you know, have like that good old fashioned body image, right? Like, I just think that I, right, I hate my stomach, I hate my wiggly arms, right? Other people may, it may be more, less physically based and more just, it's just been difficult being that exposed, right? That maybe they're more close to the vest. On all the things they do, right? Their friend, they're not the person that wears the heart on their sleeves. They're not the person where their friend knows everything about them. It's just hard for them to let someone see them. And maybe they're very confident in their body, right? It has nothing to do with their physical appearance. It's just that level of intimacy is too scary, right? Cause there's usually if, if we're avoiding something, it's fear based, right? I'm just scared. I'm scared I'm going to be rejected. I'm scared I'm going to be hurt. I'm scared someone's going to get to know me. I'm scared someone's going to get to know me. Um, you know, putting up a fortress around yourself is very protective. Ultimately, it doesn't work, right? It makes us

Willow:

Keeps you alone.

Allison:

right, it keeps you alone.

Leah:

it keeps us

Allison:

But it works. Right? It works for a bit, which is

Willow:

For a bit. Yeah. Yeah.

Leah:

And I'm sure for like some people I know this is I mean I've had different reasons for hating to get naked and one of them was because I just get an icky feeling. I don't know the name of it. It's just, I have a visceral ick, you know, and so it's just, it's that feeling. It's hard to swallow. I feel collapsed. I just feel grossed by myself, you know, which, you know, I soon discovered was just shame. I'm ashamed. I'm not good enough. I'm, uh, you know, all these things that like in the moment just don't make sense and you have to muscle through it, but there's a lot there to explore those icky feelings that don't always have a name.

Allison:

Yeah. And shame is an enormous one. Right? So, you know, if we add a third category to like, why does someone not want to get naked? You know, shame can come for all sorts of reasons, but certainly purity culture, right? I've been told, you know, this is naughty. This isn't something ladylike. Women don't own their bodies, right?

Leah:

good girls don't do it.

Allison:

Yeah. Good girls don't do it, right? Like tons of messaging. Which, you know, even if you are actively rejecting it in adulthood, like, okay, I don't buy that, that you still had all that

Willow:

Yeah, yeah,

Allison:

unprinted, right? So

Willow:

That's it. I feel like that's one of the biggest hurdles that um, vulva owners have to get through in order to be confident in their, and in their, you know, expose themselves physically and also emotionally is really just like, Like, figuring out what is the essence of me, what is the truth of me, what's authentic for me, versus what has been put upon me from the outside. What's me, what's not me. And, um, you know, so many vulva the owners in the world are really, um, they, they want to make sure that everyone's happy, everyone's taken care of. They'll give up themselves. That sort of martyr, you know, syndrome, they'll give up themselves to make sure that everyone else has what they need and that sort of perpetuates that, that experience of not being able to, um, uh, separate what's true for me versus what's been imprinted You on me from society, from parents, from culture, religion.

Leah:

Yeah, it is. It is interesting that confusion, right? Where it's like, I don't even believe in this bullshit, but like, suddenly I'm in a sexual situation and all this fear comes up and it is that mountain of conditioning that's cellular. It's, it is energetic. It's the, it's the stuff that's in the body and it doesn't make sense to the head. Um, you know,

Willow:

think sexuality is that opportunity right there to break that apart, to blow that apart for yourself. And when you do it for yourself as an individual, you are doing it for the collective as well.

Leah:

Yeah, that's when that epigenetic phenomenon happens. It's because so much of what has us get closed or freeze has to do with this thing that happened in a different lifetime to a different body. It might have been our grandmothers and it's not even ours, but yet there's something that's in the field that causes us to feel it. And which brings me to this next question, Alison, which is you said something about purity, Stuff. So what that leads me to is religious stuff. How many, um, what's it like for the women who you've been working with who have religious conditioning that is really pointing to who their sexual identity should be or shouldn't be?

Allison:

Yeah, a huge portion, right? And so I think when we talk about purity culture or religion, we're thinking the extremes, right? And

Leah:

Fundamentalist type of thing.

Allison:

it's not actually that way, right? So, you know, again, we're very impressionable and usually when we start our religious journey, it's coming from our parents, typically, right? They're, they're putting their ideals on us and we don't have the wherewithal to question it. Right? And so, you know, I always think, like, children believe in Santa Claus, right? We just, like, take what, what is given to us and just believe it and file it and it, as you said, it gets imprinted. And so, even if we haven't come up with some extreme religious upbringing, we've heard all sorts of things, right, that have given us, you know, a narrative to how women are supposed to behave, right? And, you know, that comes from certainly, like, in the bedroom, right? You know, put yourself, you know, good mothers put themselves, like, we are selfless, right? But then beyond that, for sure, sexuality, right? So, you know, if you are growing up in a very, like, liberal type church, you might have had the experience where, you know, people of all walks are welcome, but that isn't the most common experience, right? So, So many of my clients, especially the queer and the trans clients, um, you know, they're really, really struggling with how to explore, right? Like guilt, shame, you know, not wanting to tell anyone, um, and of course that affects sex life for sure. You

Willow:

Yeah. Yeah.

Leah:

When you feel like your desires aren't okay,

Willow:

Yeah.

Leah:

how can you pursue them? How can you own them? How do you even talk about them?

Allison:

Exactly that.

Leah:

crushing.

Allison:

Yeah.

Willow:

When, after a client's been working with you for a period of time, at what point do you kind of set them free? Do you let them know? Okay, you're good. Like, how does the sort of wrapping up

Leah:

our work together is complete. Yeah.

Allison:

I was just joking with someone the other day, they were like, Oh yeah, like you're really You're really lucky if you keep 50%. I was like, Oh man, I feel like mine stay forever. I'm like my average client stays for five years. I can't kick them out. No, I love them all. Uh, no, usually we, we of course have that conversation where it's like, Hey, you know, you let's, you know, just like the client I was talking about, Hey, we've reflected, look at where you are now. So, what does continued therapy look like? And, you know, for a lot of people, especially because I still currently have so many, um, queer clients, it's just a safe place for them, right? So it isn't necessarily that we are working on the presenting problem that they came to me about, right? Maybe we've, you know, Normalized exploration of sexuality. Maybe we have found freedom in the bedroom, maybe we have worked through our narratives, but it's still just an objective person to get a space to just call their own and, you know, I'm like a chronic client myself. So, you know, I joke with my therapist, he's never gonna get rid of me. And for me, it serves that purpose too, right? Like I've done a lot of my healing, but just showing up week after week and knowing I have a place to kind of drop and process has, has just helped me. So, you know, I think that's really individual. Some people, I do therapy intensives and, um, for that type of a client, they're gonna come with a really specific issue and, you know, I call it like the fast pass, right? Like we're gonna work on this, we're gonna hyper focus on this, we're gonna learn some deep coping skills on this, but we're not necessarily talking about the fight that you got into with your partner on Tuesday, you know, over the dishes. Like that's, that's for something else. So, you know, therapy, the beautiful part of therapy is it can look different depending on the needs of the client.

Willow:

Yeah, and it sounds like what you've woven together, your current offerings and who you are as a therapist has come from so many different angles and walks of life and just a lot of depth and a lot of richness and I'm sure that that makes people feel really safe with you. Like right off the bat, which I think is ultimately what people are looking for, is just anyone in the world that they can feel safe with and really let their full, true, authentic selves forward with. So thanks for doing that work.

Allison:

Thank

Leah:

And when you talk about this fast pass, is this like an intensive, meaning like a number of hours or within a short period of time? What's the structure for that?

Allison:

You know, so therapy intensives are becoming super popular and, um, I, different therapists do it very, very differently. So I do not speak for the, the programs at large. The way that I personally do them, um, I do them in 90 minute intervals. So, at a minimum of two, right? So, um, sometimes someone wants to just come for a day, right? And they're gonna come like three, four hours, and we're gonna, you know, Really just unpack some stuff. Some people want to, you know, dig in for just the 90 minutes and then kind of pause for two weeks and then come back. It really gets to be customizable. And what I have found, part of the reason that I've offered it and shifted a bit of my modalities to it is not everybody has the time for weekly therapy.

Willow:

Right.

Allison:

So a lot of the, like I said, a lot of the clients that I speak to are entrepreneurs that are really successful. They're busy, right? They're busy humans. So it just offers a different approach. Um, and I find that the people that are really you know, kind of find the most value are ones that maybe have been in therapy, but it didn't get the results that they wanted, right? Like the model of coming in, getting lost in the, Oh, but I fought with my partner over the dishes kind of supersedes doing the deeper work. And now they're just ready to like, okay, let's go.

Leah:

Yeah, I have a tendency to agree with that in my own journey. It's like, it's a 50 minute session and we spend the first 25 minutes skimming the surface and I'm finally getting rolling and I'm getting to some place that really needs attention and time's up. I hate it. So I, I usually, if I'm doing therapy, I'm going to ask for a minimum of 90 minutes to two hours because it's the most effective and efficient and I get to the meat in the heart, um, because when you want to swim in the deep end, you want to just get the job done. So I love that you're offering that. Now, do you also do groups?

Allison:

I'm actually, I'm just starting it. I like call it my suite of services. And so I'm going to start groups probably in the next few months. Um, but I've been removed from it for a while, so I haven't been in private practice. Um, I mostly do virtual. So, you know, some of it's just been like logistical, like how will this all work? Um, you know, the computer, but I attend actually a, a group therapy type support group, but I have found so much value in it. So,

Leah:

It's so good. I want to

Willow:

like, it reminds me of network chiropractic where it's like when one person releases over here, someone else's releases over here, you know, it's just this whole web of healing that happens.

Leah:

And I think women are in particularly suited towards, um, the group format and even virtually because there's something about, I think, the mirror neurons of possibility. When you see one person having a breakthrough, there's something about it that opens up your ability to have a breakthrough. And so it even goes beyond the therapist skill and it creates a collective, we're in this together. And it's less isolating. It can be so impactful. I think if you're listening to this right now, and if you haven't had group supportive experiences, that you should really pursue it. And I think men too, what I'm seeing in men's work today, and I wish there was more of it, because I think who needs it the most, even though it's suited for women, the people who need it the most are men, because men are even more isolated than women. They have even fewer friendship, statistically. And, um, and the suicide rate is the highest among men. And I think, um, I think there's a lot of leadership that could be developed in that arena. Um, Allison, thank you so much for being with us today. How can our audience contact you and work with you?

Allison:

Yeah, so I have a website, as we do these days, uh, and it is at www.anotefromyourtherapist.Com. That's where I put out some free resources, my podcast is on there, um, I have all sorts of goodies. And then, um, social media, pretty much under the same name,@anotefromyourtherapist.

Willow:

Nice.

Leah:

your, what's the name of your podcast?

Allison:

Becoming Unstoppable.

Leah:

Becoming Unstoppable.

Willow:

And then you have a gift as well that you want to give our audience. Yes.

Allison:

Yes, yes, I am working on a, um, and it should launch this week. So you will, by the time this comes out, you will have it in your hands. Uh, it is a free guide to the beginnings of sort of that mindset talk that we're talking about, right? So how to shift from insecurity to confidence.

Willow:

Love that.

Leah:

So you can get all this information in our show notes. Please visit the show notes and now tune in because this is time for Dr. Willow and myself to throw down in the dish and you don't want to miss it. Thank you, Alison, for being here today. Lots of love, everyone.

Willow:

Ciao.

Allison:

Thank you.

Announcer:

Now, our favorite part, the dish.

Leah:

Okay, the fascinating Allison, who started off working in hospitals with rape victims, ended up with the FBI research department, followed into Rikers, and then again working with, yeah, private

Willow:

with high end men and now high end working class women.

Leah:

Yeah, um,

Willow:

what a journey. What a cool woman.

Leah:

yeah, I find that really fascinating. I've actually often felt drawn to, um, wanting to support prisons, uh, prisoners, and I don't know what form that would take, I've looked at it and thought about it through the positive psychology lens, um, but, who knows, maybe someday,

Willow:

Maybe someday it'll call to you. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's a, it's a bunch of souls who've been wounded and are in trauma. I mean that's probably why you feel called there, because you have healing and medicine for them.

Leah:

Yeah. Well, I think like when it comes to rehabilitation, there's only one way to, we don't have yet. I think one of the things that we really need in our culture, we need a lot of research in this way is rehabilitation. I think when it comes to drug addiction and, um, you know, the trauma that gets inflicted at us, which turns into the trauma that we end up inflicting on others. There's so, and then mental illness, those things are so woven together so tightly. And it's, and that's a problem we do not have figured out. I mean, you just go to any town in California and you see so many people on the streets who are suffering and there's always trauma in their history. And that's often followed by addiction, mental illness, and being in and out of jails just sucks.

Willow:

exactly. Yeah, I mean there's, there's so much, uh, that, that whole piece we were talking about with Allison around self worth and how to, like, massage that into somebody's cellular being, into their soma and their physical body, it really requires presence. And I think that's probably, it's one of the biggest things that's just lacking in our world today is presence. And, yeah. For those who are, you know, stuck in that cycle of, of, you know, whatever it is, abuse and homelessness and trauma. It's like they're, they have never had anyone be present with them. They've never had anyone just sit with them and ask them, like, where do you feel that pain in your body? And what is the sensation of it? And just hold space for them. And what if we all learn to do that? I was just having a conversation yesterday with, uh, um, one of my Tantra buddies, like a guy and, you know, and we were talking about how amazing it is to just for, for a man to just be in stillness when he's working with a women's yoni. And to really just listen and to let the tissues really just and really just let the arousal to just come to you. And I was talking about how with the pelvic floor work to Self How amazing that would be.. I think that's one of the biggest things that so many vulva owners are, are stuck in is not being able to trust the masculine. Because again, they didn't learn, like, we haven't been educated. I loved what she said, she's like, when we have knowledge, we, you know, we do better when we know better. That's what she said. That was great.

Leah:

Yeah. I mean, not only are we raised being told not to trust men, but then no one actually teaches us how to trust ourselves. So how can you trust outside when you don't even know how to trust inside? And, and that is something, another area that, that we need to speak for more and, and show people how. Um, one of the things that I really liked. Was her fast pass. You know, Willow and I both do these VIP immersions with, uh, couples and individuals where it's a one on one intensive and you know, the, the shortest amount of time I spend with someone working with that is between three to four hours, but most of the time it's two days, four days and eight days. And it's because there's a way to do a deep dive and it's, it's going underneath the surface. It's how deep can we go? And because it's the only time that I personally do one on one work with people in person, otherwise everything else is virtual, I get to touch the body. You get to learn how to touch another body. And it helps us get what Dr. Willow would call the medicine into the tissue and integrate it so that people can open and flourish and feel so much more deeper. Because when you do that inner work on yourself, the potential of what you can give another body, it just, it's times 10. Your skill level goes times 10 when you do the work on yourself. That makes it more possible for the people you love to experience the same kind of awakening. And, um, and I love that she calls it a fast pass. You know, there's something really true about that term. Maybe I might

Willow:

That's so funny, I did not hear her, I did not hear her say FastPass. You, you must have heard something, I totally missed that. I heard her say doing intensives or something like that with

Leah:

yeah,

Willow:

And so in my

Leah:

it her fast pass.

Willow:

in my mind I was thinking that it was going to be multi days. Um, cause, just that's cause what we do. But, yeah, it was interesting that she's like, yeah, I'll do 90 minutes. I'm like, oh,

Leah:

yeah. But what's so true about and why I think my ears just picked up fast pass is because not only is it the deepest way in our industry that I believe for you to learn and embody something like the things that Tantra gives people, which are these bigger, better orgasms and deep, profound healing and cosmic, transcendent experiences, but it's, it's, it is the fastest way to get that, you know. Um, now it's, it's not the cheapest way to get it, you know, like the, the slower pace would be to watch, you know, videos on YouTube, but it is the direct experience from body to body. And in a lot of ways, it ends up being more affordable because it's,

Willow:

you get a bigger experience. And also it's, it's a great pattern interrupt, right? There's something about being out of your environment, out of your day to day, especially if you're in a relationship, you go out of that, you interrupt the pattern, you have a deeper dive with a professional is actually has done a lot of work on themselves and is templating these new mirror neurons for your body to pick up on, and you walk away from that pattern interrupt from that intensive, whether it's half a day or two days or eight days, you walk away from it with, so with a completely different energy field all around you. Completely different body.

Leah:

Yeah. It's like, not only does your system get rewired so that your circuits are firing more effectively and efficiently, it's like your brain is now more connected to your body than ever before. Because like I've said a thousand times, it's your brain that's the biggest sex organ. And for so many of us, especially vulva owners, Our circuits are crossed. The, the circuit that, Oh my God, there's nothing, by the way, there's nothing wrong with your body. Your body does know how to come. Your body does know how to have vaginal orgasms. It's happening. You just can't feel them. That all that means is that the messages have been crossed. The signals have been crossed from the genitals up to the brain and what's crossing the signals. It could be anything from stress, pollution, overcoming too many crises

Willow:

hormonal imbalances. Yeah.

Leah:

Yeah, a hormone imbalances undigested emotional content from, you know, that, that trauma that happened when you were nine and a half. I mean, there's, there's all sorts of things that

Willow:

many layers. And a lot of them, it's not about lifting this layer, then that layer, then this layer, then that layer. It's about blowing the whole thing wide open sometimes. If that's what the session brings, right? If that's what is happening. It's to just obliterate all of it in one go. And that's why this work is so powerful. It's the fastest track to healing, being in a human body than, than anything I've ever encountered. And I've walked the world over and done every healing modality under the sun. So, um, you know, when you get right up into the root chakra, second chakra, and start to awaken every other chakra from there on up, it's, um, a game changer.

Leah:

And like we were talking about at the top of the interview, that obliteration process is pretty gentle. It starts with breath,

Willow:

Yeah,

Leah:

if you really want to know kind of comes back to like, what is the key thing to transformation, man, the breath is like a tool like none other. And, um, and then of course, following the sensations in the body directly. So with that, we should all take a deep breath and have ourselves a beautiful day, morning or night, whatever time it is for you,

Willow:

Don't forget to sound after you breathe to really move that energy, and we'll see you on the other side.

Leah:

Yeah, love, love, love, love, love.

Announcer:

Thanks for tuning in. This episode was hosted by Tantric Sex Master Coach and Positive Psychology Facilitator, Leah Piper, as well as by Chinese and Functional Medicine Doctor and Taoist Sexology Teacher, Dr. Willow Brown. Don't forget, your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.

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Dr. Willow Brown

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Leah Piper

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Allison Guilbault

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