The Sex Reimagined Podcast

Amy & April 4.0: Shameless Sex Secrets - How to Choose Your Own Pleasure Path | #101

• Leah Piper, Dr. Willow Brown, Amy Baldwin, April Lampert • Season 2 • Episode 101

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Dive into our latest episode featuring the return of the dynamic duo behind the Shameless Sex podcast, Amy and April, as they unveil their groundbreaking book on sexual wellness. Discover the innovative "choose your own pleasure path" approach to sex education that's taking the world by storm. Learn how this unique guide addresses everything from communication struggles to exploring new desires, making it a must-have resource for anyone looking to enhance their intimate experiences. Plus, Amy and April share some hilarious behind-the-scenes moments from writing their book. Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of laughter and a dash of therapy.

HERE'S A TASTE OF WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

  • Breaking free from sexual shame (because life's too short for that nonsense!)
  • Communication hacks for better sex (yes, please!)
  • Sex toy talk (from unicorn butt plugs to pleasure wands)
  • How to stop "should-ing" yourself in the bedroom
  • The surprising benefits of reading the end of the book first (April's quirky habits
  • Tips for spicing things up, whether you're 19 or 90

EPISODE LINKS *some links below may also be affiliate links 

KING & QUEEN OF HEARTS. Leah & Willow's King & Queen of Hearts Intimacy Toolkit is on sale. Buy Now. 10% off Coupon: KINGANDQUEEN10.

THE MALE GSPOT & PROSTATE MASTERCLASS. This is for you if… You’ve heard of epic anal orgasms, & you wonder if it’s possible for you too. Buy Now. Save 20% Coupon PODCAST20.

THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Buy Now. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20

LAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Buy Now. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20.

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Leah:

Man, you all did it again. You keep on liking, you keep on subscribing, and you keep on commenting on all of the incredible episodes that we try to put out every single week. Thank you so much for your support. You have come to another episode with Dr. Willow Brown, Leah Piper, and the Sex Reimagined Podcast. Today we are so excited because we have the shame. I have the hardest time saying shame. It's like starting the name of their show. Like it trips up my tongue every time. So do over. We have the shameless sex podcast ladies today, Amy and April. Man, it was still hard to spit it out, but, uh, take it away, Willow.

Willow:

Yeah, you're going to have so much fun listening to us yammer away with Amy and April, those two shameless sex girls. They just published a book last year and it is a very cool book. We talk all about it and how to utilize it and you're going to love this episode. So tune in, turn on and fall in love with shameless sex.

Announcer:

Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Leah:

We have the amazing, the amazing, the popular, the shameless sex girls, April and Amy in the house. And we are so excited to talk about the playful parts of sex, the deeper parts of sex, and all the things that go all the way around the world so that we all become better at sex. Because who doesn't want to be a great lover? Who doesn't want to have so much pleasure? And who doesn't want to feel adequate and confident when it comes to things in the bedroom? Welcome, ladies.

April:

Thank you. Thank you for having us. We love you too, so much. And it's such a pleasure to see your gorgeous face. We're just sad. It's not in person.

Amy:

I know. It's okay. Wah, wah. We

April:

could have slept.

Willow:

can do the one on your episode that

April:

Yeah. Yeah. That'd be awesome.

Amy:

Please. Yeah, in May.

Leah:

really fun this morning. We had, um, a high school friend of mine who still lives in East Lansing, Michigan, my hometown, and today we have you two ladies and Willow who both live in Santa Cruz. So it's kind of a theme, yeah.

Amy:

April's from the Midwest too, so that's perfect.

April:

Yeah. I haven't been

Leah:

how's the weather today? Just out of curiosity, because here in Sack of Tomatoes, it is gorgeous.

Amy:

I just love, it's

April:

beautiful. Sack of tomatoes, probably, we might have the same one. It's hot. I was wearing a fur jacket, walking my dog this morning, sweating bullets, and I was like, what am I thinking? I looked

Willow:

I had too many layers on on

April:

Yeah, I was like,

Willow:

Yeah.

Leah:

Yeah. You know, I want to figure out how to film the podcast outside when it's gorgeous out, you know? I know those like fuzzy microphone covers help with, um, outdoor sound. Have you guys ever experimented with filming

Amy:

so we have, we did. So, uh, on Sarah Tom Cheston's podcast, the fuck, the fuck. Yeah. So, well, no, we were going to, so here's why we didn't actually do it in the pool. So we, you know, we, you have their little, I don't think maybe you all have the same portable zoom recording box. Anyways, we were going to record them in LA. She has one of those dough boy pools and we were going to be. Naked in the pool, or in bathing suits.

April:

That's what it's called, a doughboy pool? The doughboy, the ones that stand up. Oh, I

Willow:

stand on the

Amy:

Oh, I just called

April:

them the above ground. But anyway, good to

Amy:

know. I just learned something new. Thank you. The above ground. And so, but we forgot our little recording box. So all is four of us too. We're like, shit, we can't go... how are we gonna do this? We have to be plugged into a laptop, but you're not going to be in a pool with a laptop right there. So we had to all do, uh, four humans, four women, one mic and pass it around. It actually worked really well,

Willow:

did it, but you did do it in the pool?

April:

No, we didn't. We ended up being in the pool and then realizing that we forgot our equipment and that was like 45

Willow:

had to get dressed, you had to get out, you

April:

We were still in bathing suits. No, we were still in bathing suits because it was hot. So it worked out. We should work.

Amy:

Let's work on this. I think I have a good pool in Santa Cruz that we can go to if you all come here for our

Leah:

Okay. And I have a pool at my house. So your, your 4. 0 episode, we can come do it in, in my pool or in my hot tub.

April:

Okay. Well, I'm not paying tribute with my computer for that. Okay. Someone else has to pay tribute. No,

Leah:

I take my computer into the pool all the time.

April:

I love that about you.

Amy:

As long as we have the recording box, we don't need a laptop. It'll be all good. And if the recording box

Willow:

got us

Leah:

Well, we need a laptop if we want it to

Willow:

all we need is a pool. We

Amy:

Oh, that's

Leah:

A

Willow:

have a recording box.

Amy:

yeah,

Leah:

who doesn't want to watch us in the pool or the hot tub

Amy:

especially if we're naked. We

April:

might need

Leah:

It'll be a highly rated episode.

Amy:

All right. Saying, everyone stay tuned. That's next time it'll be

April:

topless. Well, I'm probably naked anyway. I'll be naked. It'll be naked.

Amy:

I don't, I don't like bathing suits.

April:

It gives better, it gives, it gives better sound that way.

Leah:

yeah, well, so, you know, one of the things we're here today to celebrate is the book that the two of you publish. Please tell us the title.

Amy:

April, what's our

April:

title? Oh my God. Okay. we have to read, it's called Shameless Sex. We trademark Shameless Sex a long time ago. That's the name of our podcast. However, the subtitle is long, is Choose. I'm going to look at it.

Amy:

Choose your own

April:

pleasure path

Amy:

to unlock the sex life you've been waiting for. There's a reason why we don't have that memorized, everyone. It's long. And we also

April:

changed it like three times and, um, because choose your own adventure was taken. So we choose your own pleasure path though. There are lots of different

Willow:

good. I like that.

April:

To go and get into pleasure.

Leah:

So tell us about these pleasure paths that you outline in the book.

April:

You know, it's an interesting thing because it took so long to write the book, two years, uh, because Amy and I and the publisher, they've been in business for what, 40 years. They were like, we've never had a book like this. And so written past, present and future. Right. And then you have to, you go and you, you can flip to the pleasure path that sounds most. So, you know, you have different, um, we call it the C-Y-O-P-P. Yeah. You know me. Choose your own pleasure path. Yeah, choose your own pleasure path. We're like, choose your C-Y-O-P-P. And so you can look at which one, or the, the several or few, and there's about one to sometimes five at max that you can walk down and then flip to the, the page. And sometimes it has you go back. So it's like, if you want to learn more about, um, how to please your partner or if you think you have, uh, maybe some trauma that is unresolved. Go to this chapter or this page in this chapter. So it does guide you. You could read it cover to cover easily. Uh, and we recommend reading it cover to cover.

Amy:

A lot of people have, and they said they really enjoyed that. Right. It's also playful and entertaining. It's not just like, so here's what, it's not just like your average self help book and what

Willow:

sure there's a lot of fun stories in

Amy:

there's stories. Yeah. They actually, the editors cut out like half of our stories, like that's a lot of blah, blah, blah.

April:

When we, when we, when we committed to the book, it was like 75, 000 words. And we ended up

Willow:

keep it limited.

April:

well, we gave them a hundred thousand

Willow:

Oh, I did the same thing with my book. I'm like, here's my book, and then I would cut it in half, and I was like, no, here's my book, and she's like, that's two to three books in one book of half of my book, which means there's like five books in

April:

They were like, you have a weapon here. They're like, this is a weapon when it's over. I was like, that's true. You can smack someone with a 100, I guess, thousand page book. So

Amy:

just an example of what April's talking about using the CYOPP. So say one of your sex questions would be, it's a super common one. Like I can't orgasm through penetrative sex. And it might be like, what's wrong with me? Or am I normal? Or am I broken? And then it would give you these. So we would talk about it for a little bit and then it will give you these options like April said, you know, anywhere between two to five of, you know, what, what's the outcome you want instead of us saying, okay, you can't orgasm from penetrative sex. Here's what you should do. It's more like, well, what's the outcome you want? Do you want to learn how to orgasm from penetrative sex because it's your ultimate desire. Like you feel like it'll create more fullness and aliveness in your life. Do you want to learn to do that for your partner just to please them? You do. So we'll give like all these different options and then you decide where, what you want as the outcome. And then it tells you where to go to learn more about how to achieve your

Willow:

you're kind of flippin through the book. You're flippin forward, you're flippin back. Kind of makes me feel like it's like a, like a tarot deck. Like you can kind of just open to any page and just read something and learn something and it will take you on its own adventure

Leah:

Yeah, I like that it does two things. It works with two different ways that people's minds work. It's for those of us who are a little more linear, like I like to read from front

Willow:

Front to back.

Leah:

Um, I, I get nervous if I skip a section, like there's FOMO arises, where other people are like, their mind is like, more like, they're more creative. There's some spaghetti going on in there where they want to flip here and flip there and go back and forth and they don't want to waste their time on shit they don't give a shit about. Um,

April:

also, you're exactly right. I always read the end of the book first. You do? I'm like a dark and stormy. Wait, tell me more about, sorry. Because I don't, what if I get into a fucking accident and can't read or something? So you want to know how it ends? I want to know what happens.

Amy:

Oh my God. I'm so curious what that speaks to in your personality type.

April:

I don't know, Amy, but I'm just

Willow:

human

Leah:

She's like, bottom line it for me, people. Bottom line it.

April:

I don't like surprises and if I have them, I'm usually suspicious of a surprise. I'm like a surprise is coming. So, uh, but this is not about me. I just wanted to tell you that from cover to cover, I will start with the back cover, read the last bits and they'll be like, okay, now I'm ready. And, um, also we had something that we thought would be an extra bonus offering throughout the book, which are pod boxes, because each we have hundreds of podcasts at this time. Point in time, like, uh, like close to 400. Right. So, um, you can't go in depth, otherwise you're going to have a 3000 page book about each topic. So we reference pod boxes, which means people could go to that specific podcast. They're like, I really want more information on oral or Tantra. So they're like, we give, so they can reference that and then go deep into more knowledge on that specific topic. Um, and that's something that is pretty fresh. Um, It is broken down. We think it's an easy read for most people, uh, and it's not gonna be super clinical. I get a little bored from and yawning over clinical stuff.

Willow:

stuff. You know, it's so funny, I've known you guys have been working on this book for, since you started working on it. Right? And um, and I had, but I had no idea it was sort of this like, choose your own pleasure pathway. And it's so funny, Lee and I just created a, a freebie, a free gift, which is exactly the same thing, choose your own adventure. And so it's just, it's in the field. So we just have three choose your own adventures. But within this book, there are five pleasure pathways, right? That people can go down.

Amy:

different for every question. So it's broken down into eight different chapters or themes that we, so we looked at, you know, 400 ish. I mean at the time, probably 300 episodes. And we looked at also all the sex questions we were receiving. Cause we get them, you know, many, many questions a week and we were looking for the themes, right? So like this question, while it's asking about, I can't orgasm from penetration. Sometimes it's saying, am I broken? Sometimes it's, am I normal? Um, whereas some other questions are like, how do I become the best lover? How do I talk to my partner about sex? I want to cross dress. What do I do? Is it my, is something wrong with me? So, but even, so yeah, so, but there's some that are just more like, I want to spice up my sex life. And someone's like, am I broken? Or is there something wrong? Or some

April:

people are like, I just started these pills. I got a life altering surgery, like, because they need it. For chronic pain. Uh, what's wrong with me? I can't, I can't feel pleasure anymore. Right? There's so many different, that's yeah. So

Amy:

what we did was we, we looked at that, we broke it down in these eight chapters that we saw, like, here's the most common themes. And then we rearranged it to see like, what needs to happen first? It seems like, am I normal? And am I broken needs to happen before? How can I be a master lover? Right? And some people could just go to that. How could I be a master lover chapter? It's also, yeah. And it's, it's also designed to like access over and over again. Like right now, maybe I feel like I'm all good, so I don't need to look at this book. And then six months, all of a sudden I have some chronic illness and I need to go access the book again, or I have a new partner. How do I access that? Or, or, or you want to be a master

April:

lover and then you're reading this. C Y O P P. And then it's like, yo, if this is something really hard for you, maybe you should go back to this chapter. And we just, it's all

Willow:

the basics.

April:

Yes. Or

Willow:

Foundation is key. And so, so often when we get really advanced at something and really good at something, we forget the basics. And then when we bring the basics, you know, the foundational work back into our sort of high level of, of understanding and mastery with something, it takes us even higher.

April:

Yeah, exactly. And a master, a true master never stops learning. Mm hmm. So, hey.

Leah:

That's kind

Willow:

that means we're all true masters, right?

Leah:

yeah. If you don't have a love of learning, then why bother?

April:

Yeah. Exactly.

Leah:

many things to discover and, and, uh, and try on. So tell us a little bit about like, what are some of the deeper, um, topics, subjects people are dealing with as they're looking through the book? What are some of the heavier stuff

April:

Clearly shame. Shame and trauma. And this is something, remember, there's no hierarchy. We all know, and I know when you all, um, started your podcast, uh, you also said like shame. That's like, keeps coming up, especially in sex, right? And trauma as well. And that's interwoven and sometimes, um, they can go hand in hand and sometimes it can be completely separate things. Sometimes people might have not a lot of shame, but a lot of trauma or, um, a lot of shame and maybe a little bit of trauma and they're not sure. So that being said, uh, it was a bit therapeutic, at least for me. And I know for Amy as well, walking our, our, through our stories a little bit, it's, remember, this is not centered only around Amy and I's experiences. Cause we're just two humans, uh, with just, Of our two separate experiences. It's not a memoir. It's not a memoir, but we do, we do weave that in just so people understand we, we have, uh, the ability to communicate, um, from our own design of what, uh, we went through, that was shame and trauma and that we go through, which, you know, if this isn't live, Clearly, cause it's printed, but there are always going to be things that come up that can trigger this past shame. So that was therapeutic and I think helpful and I think people can more relate to both of us because, um, we are very exposed in the book and vulnerable about some of the things that we, uh, experienced going, growing up and also in, in our twenties and thirties.

Leah:

What are some of the things that you can name that through this process of writing this book, you were, it's like revealed something about you. Is there something that you can name that kind of surprised you? Like, wow, this is saying this about me and my experience, or what did writing the book give you?

Amy:

You know, I realized for myself, so I'm raised in Santa Cruz, not everyone raised in Santa Cruz was raised with like a big open minded, um, you know, upbringing about sex, but I, mine was right. Like when I wanted to be sexually active, my mom was like, you, um, I wouldn't get you on birth control. If you want to get birth control, my dad didn't give a fuck to the point where actually that's a problem because I have daddy issues. But so there was no shame about being a sexual person, but I didn't have any information about, um, you know, pleasure, how to ask for pleasure, my worthiness and pleasure. And so writing the book. Uh, I think I, before the book and, um, I had the story that I don't have a lot of shame and trauma around sex. Uh, and after writing the book, because like April said, we had to, um, have to, but we chose to discuss some of our own details about our past, our history, and I'd forgot about some of those stories. You know, they're not necessarily like non consensual acts of sexual violence, but a lot of coercion. I had one that I imagine. Yeah. Um, I was, yeah, speaking for myself, coercion, not. Um, choosing myself, um, not saying yes or no, or when I was feeling a no or yes, uh, and having experiences that did shape me and affect my sexuality that I had to, or I chose to try to undo and still am, um, undoing that. And you

April:

were really young. One of them, I mean, I think that, the first penis I touched,

Amy:

oh my God. Yeah.

April:

She was like 12 and it wasn't, it was, it was a coercion, it was

Willow:

Uh.

April:

a forced, yeah, thing. It wasn't forced. It was, well, he forced, well, it says in the book, he forced.

Amy:

Yeah, he asked for a back massage and then flipped over and was like, will you rub my stomach? And then just took my hand as like a jack off device on his cock. But the reason why that was problematic was because he was not a nice person to me. He was my friend's twin brother who would pick on me for being a lower income family. And he was from a wealthy family with, you know, his dad is like the local judge. We have a lot of those, but, um, and so it was like, I'm scared of this. And now my hand is on their cock or penis. It's a penis of their 13. It's not a cock everyone. And I don't know how to say otherwise because what will happen if I do? Uh, and so I kind of just forgot about that and how it shaped my life later on.

Leah:

Yeah.

April:

I

Willow:

is so interesting when you start writing these old stories out. Like, what comes up is like this unearthing of, wow. I mean, every time I read or rewrite my rape story, some other layer comes through. It's insane how it just

April:

also reading our own stories separately 50/50, like people have asked, like, how did you, and we would write, uh, each chapter and then go over it again like so Amy could kind of frame it out and then so we're like living and then I would go in and beef it up and add some humor and and the things. And then she could go over it again. And then I would go over it so it was like double

Willow:

Layered,

April:

but it was layered, but reading her story and then really like going into her story. And then also what I'm sharing with my story and like, we had the, one of the editors, um, we didn't have a ghostwriter, anyone, everyone, there's no fucking AI. We don't trust AI for sex advice. No way. Uh, so, uh, if, if that's a question, then know that that did not happen, but we had two editors that helped refine the stories and they were like, we think this needs an explicit warning for people because this could bring up trauma and we didn't do that. We kind of said that being in the beginning, but I talked about something that happened to me when I was 14, like a forced blow job, um, situation. And I didn't ever talk about that before. And, um, it's funny cause I just was like, Oh, it's fine. And it was someone that I was dating, but he was 18 and I was 14. Definitely didn't want to stir the pot. And it kind of, you were not into sucking, not sucking

Amy:

cock, but like getting

April:

blowjobs for a long time. I had never, yeah. And I'd never been even, I would only made out with someone and had like my, my, one of my breasts touched at one point, like it's kind of

Amy:

boob then just

April:

my titties. So that was, that was quite, um, traumatic. As well for me to write it, meaning writing it, but I never, ever thought about it as a traumatic experience when I was, uh,

Leah:

up until that

April:

up until when I was just like a human, a civilian walking around and

Willow:

I imagine that process of, of writing together and kind of going over the stories together, going over each other's stories, really. I mean, you guys have always been very, very close since day one that you met, but brought you even into more intimacy with one another and more closeness in your own relationship.

April:

almost sometimes wanting to choke

Amy:

each other out. Okay. We should've got her a therapist. We forgot if anyone's going to write a

Willow:

the book. Get a therapist

Amy:

That's what I'm going to say. If you're writing a book with an actually, you should get a therapist if you're writing one by yourself is my thought. But if you're writing with someone else and you know, April and I work really well together. We love each other so much. And uh, we also had a lot of moments. We're great at communicating and then we work through it. But uh, we could have really used it for, for both reasons, for our relationship with each other. And then all the personal stuff we're uncovering, which is a huge thing in our book that one of the CYOPP answers for, or not answers, but um, the suggestions for the outcome you might want often says find support, you know, go work with people like Willow and Leah or find a therapist. The

April:

stress though that was involved with making Deadlines, I think what was an extra, an extra layer that was that, that did impact both of us, um, in a way.

Amy:

And we have other jobs too. Yes.

April:

And I'm a procrastinate, you can call me procrastinating Patty or whatever. Because I, I work well on deadlines, but then I'm staying up till four in the morning and Amy's like, I already finished this like a week ago. It's waiting for you. Did you finish that? And I'm like, fuck. I'm like, I will. But, uh, so,

Amy:

and then that's why you read the back of the book. And then we always say, yeah, she's

April:

like,

Amy:

I'm just getting into the head of the game.

April:

Our partners too were, were like, We'd be like, we're going to be gone for three hours. We're going to do some book stuff eight to nine hours later. We I'd come back and he's like, Oh yeah, really? I don't believe you that you're three hours. So everything took twice as long.

Leah:

Was there any creative obstacles in terms of how you envisioned the book or along the writing process? Were there directions that one of you wanted to go and the other one didn't want to go?

Amy & April:

I don't think so.

Amy:

It was just quite surprising. And our, our editors worked really well with us. Like they saw our vision. That's what our editors, our publishers and editors though. They saw our vision. That's why they, they chose to publish this book. And we had, we came up with this. So we. We finished this book last year. It's 2023. We came up with this concept in 2018. Um, the, the CYO, we didn't know it was choose your own pleasure path. It was like, Oh, choose your own adventure book. That is self help nonfiction for sex and relationships, but we weren't ready to write it. So we already had that mapped out and here's what we did in which I think is very smart. We, and it's also, um, you know, a good way to take a vacation, but make it a business right off. We went to Mexico three times to work on this book with our little dogs.

April:

No distractions. It was like with our dogs, it was awesome. Then we'd go to the beach, have a couple cocktails, come back, write the book. And we hammered out really good work then.

Amy:

And I think what we did is we, we started with the foundation pieces of, um, you know, not like, let's just start writing the book, which I think a lot of people do, they start writing a book. And, but we also started by, you know, getting, um, an agent very quickly when we had this concept. And so we started with just like. This kind of the mission, right? Here's the mission statement. Here's the layers. And then we work from those places and we were pretty much, um, yeah, very connected.

April:

I mean, our proposal was so different because it was a lot about us when our actual proposal, they had like the framework, but I think we sent Willow maybe the proposal. Back in the day. I don't remember. Um, maybe not, but yeah, it's a long, it's like a long winded. So that

Amy:

don't look at it as long winded.

April:

No. And there's so many errors and spell it. I'm like, really? I felt like I was spell check. Uh, but that it was a framework and the idea was there and the publishers loved it. There was actually like a, a, a bidding thing going on between different publishers for it, cause that's what they do. They take your proposal to auction for folks that want to write books. Um, and

Willow:

what your agent did

April:

Yeah. Our agent, our agent took it to auction. We don't even know how to do that. They, they, he took it to

Willow:

Not, not the publishers

Amy:

yeah, they're not,

April:

but there

Willow:

all you who are trying to write a book and in the book writing world,

April:

Yeah. Usually you find an agent after you have a proposal. We did it the reverse. An agent found us, told us we should write a proposal. And we're like, we do have an idea, wrote the proposal. He brought it to auction. And then, um, that was when the bidding thing started. But they liked it, but it's totally different. Like the book took, it took, um, sort of its own, um, identity as we dove into the content.

Willow:

Yeah, I think, you know, that the whole process that the way that you guys did it is really smart and, um, and very unusual. Most people do not go that route and, you know, you have to have a large platform to go that route, like to, for an agent to just be like, yeah, I'm going to help you find a publisher and now you should write a proposal and an actual book, you know, usually goes the other way. Someone has a manuscript and then they find an agent and then the agent helps them find a publisher. But, um, yeah. You guys were really fortunate to do it the way that you did.

April:

think we could write a book on, um, how to write a book on the things to expect after.

Amy:

It starts with Get a Therapist.

April:

It starts with Get a Therapist. Yeah. Yeah. It ends with ask a lot of questions and, uh, it's, it's because it is, it is where it's the hardest thing that I know I've ever done. I don't want to speak for Amy, but we haven't

Amy:

birthed children though.

April:

We call it our, our 309 page turquoise baby. Ah, we had a baby together. It is. 309 pages. How many words? I think they brought it down to 75, 000. 75, 000. Yeah. We cut out 25, 000

Willow:

That's pretty good. Yeah. Okay. I'm comparing it to mine right now. Mine's in the hands of a publisher at the moment, so

Amy:

Do you know what yours is? Yeah. Do you

April:

know the word count?

Willow:

not off the top of my head. I just pared it way down. I just took huge chunks out of it. One of the questions I have for them is like, should I take out my personal story? Should I take out my

April:

Oh, people want that. No. But you can refine it and just

Willow:

Refine it. I might need to just

April:

Yeah. That's what we did too. We

Leah:

agree with nonfiction. I think you really need to, the audience, the reader needs to feel like they know you. And, and, and get invested in, in the author and their expertise. And then when you add a piece of personal story, I feel like it, especially when it's a vulnerable story. It makes you feel like this person's your friend, and there's a part of you that's doing intimate work by reading this book and, and trying to reflect and see yourself in the process of the book. Obviously, something draws you to a book to make you buy it, and in the personal growth world, I think it's important that it feels like the author to the reader is, I get you, you know, like, I get, I get you, and you want to feel like you're getting the author.

April:

don't understand you and I want to

Amy:

learn more, like,

April:

what is this person? But the

Amy:

personal story, and so I'm, this, I know you are interviewing us, but I have a question for you too, because you guys, you both work with clients and I know at least in the, the therapist world, you know, it's, it's highly encouraged to not share your personal story with people.

Leah:

why I'm not a therapist.

Amy:

Exactly. Me too. So you do this, right? Cause I

Willow:

not work for

Leah:

I

Amy:

I think, yeah, with clients, right? Like they, they really resonate with that.

Leah:

Yeah. You know, I think I'm coming more from the framework and probably why overshare is I like teachers. I kind of feel myself more as a teacher than a therapist. Although I work in the therapeutic realm and help people with obstacles. But, um, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My favorite teachers are the ones that tell their stories to show the example of this is where I was and this is where I'm at now because I just find it to be extremely relatable and I also like it when a teacher is humble enough to go, I fucked up too, you know, I'm, my shit's all fucked up still and it just makes me feel like I can trust them and, and it puts, um, I don't know. That's what I'm attracted to, but I do get, we interview a lot of therapists, as you do, and so it's interesting to see the ones that are like very clear they're not going to tell any part of their story. I don't know. I just don't trust it. I guess I get that that, that world, they must have a good reason for not doing that, and I guess that's because of all the projections that the client could have on the therapist, but it's just not my

April:

I don't know. I don't trust. Like, I think most of those therapists are wounded healers, the psychiatrists. Most of us all are. I mean, yeah, if you're trying, if you're, if you're claiming it to be a healer or a therapist, like, I feel like everyone has a story. There's no way you grew up in a bubble. We're wounded. We're wounded podcasters. Hell yeah. No, no doubt about it. Uh, and yeah, and never, I, I don't claim, I don't, I don't work with clients. Um, I choose not to. I just got my sex ed certification. I was like, Oh, hell no. I have, I take on people's energy really deeply. Oh my God. And so I like, we'll be, people will write something like a question. And I'm like, Oh,

Amy:

she starts crying,

Leah:

Yeah.

Amy:

which is, which is lovely. But when we're podcasting, please, can you just not cry right now for like, I

Willow:

I cry on our podcast all the time. So I'm so curious what kind of, um, feedback you guys have been getting since the book has been out. Is the, and also is the audio version out

April:

Yes. The audio version's out. It came out nearly

Amy:

when the other book came out. It came out at the same time. Um, so we, we read the audio version ourselves, everyone. And we, we, uh, switched every other chapter. Uh, we were both pretty terrified of doing that. We were pretty good at talking freely, but when it comes to reading word for word, especially me, April's much better at it. It's hard.

April:

It's quite

Amy:

hard. But one of the interesting things is when we were reading, because we were doing every other chapter. So I would be reading parts that were like, You know, what's something that April wrote in there. And so like we were talking earlier about, you know, having to relive each other's stories too, but it was actually a really cool experience. Um, and so, yeah, the, uh, the feedback I've been getting, and I think we have the same feedback, but you can elaborate what you've heard has only been really positive. And some of the people that have shared their, um, positive feedback about the book are people I really highly admire, like other authors or sex educators or therapists. Um, actually. Uh, my partner was just telling me that there, um, uh, someone he knows was in therapy in Santa Cruz and the therapist recommended our book. I don't know what

Willow:

Yay, that's great.

Amy:

someone

April:

on the chairlift when I was snowboarding. That was a therapist. And um, we were talking about this is not this year cause I can't cause my knee, but last year and I was just like, Oh yeah, I teach people at sex and relationships. That's what I say. Right. That's what I tell people. And they're like, Oh no way. I'm a therapist. And I was like, yeah, she's like, you know my best my best resource is just giving people podcasts. And I love this one called shameless sex. And I have my, as I have my goggles and my helmet, I was like, that's me. I was like, so stoked. I was like, no way. She's like, Oh my God. She like fangirled out. I was like, this is so cool. So I'd love, I love when other therapists recommend, um, us or you all like, that's so important to share resources, especially when it's free. And, um, that's awesome. I'm happy to hear that. When I listened to the audible book. I don't do those, uh, uh, ending first, by the way, just when I'm reading a book. Um, but, uh, I, I thought it was really funny and comical. And we both read well, and, and, and reading your story was so cool. And hearing you read my story was really cool. And I, and I was, I was like, Laughing out loud sometimes at some of the things, um, that we said that are just like, we have a lot of really witty, funny, um, ways to talk about, like, put on your safety, put on your safety mask. Like you're going to slide into home talking, making it like a baseball reference about

Amy:

Wolverine or Wolverine, like

April:

get your Wolverine costume on everyone. It's like, it's a hairy pussy

Amy:

everyone. It's a hairy pussy, which we love.

April:

And I love the humor that we could weave into sometimes things that are difficult for folks and, and, but not in a way that's making fun of anyone. We never do that that would be more shame ing behavior. And we weave it in, um, and I think in a way that is really, um, it's intuitive. It's also like with intention. Mm

Leah:

yeah, I think you guys have a really fun way of being irreverent, which really actually works in sex and sexual education, because sometimes we take it so fucking seriously, right? And the topic can get really heavy, really fast. And so you've got to bring levity to it. And I think that's where like both the sacred and the profane really go well together and having that be a good balance. You know, we were on a podcast not too long ago and um, the interviewer was like, You guys have had the shameless girls, shameless sex girls on your show and we were so impressed. I'm like, Oh,

Amy:

All right.

April:

I think we, we forget like people like, uh, we cannot believe you're on our show. We did like a bunch of, uh, shows. Why wouldn't we be on your show? Uh, yeah. With these two British women that were super funny. I can't remember. Honey, do me. Was that that one? No. Come curious. Oh,

Willow:

Come Curious. I listened to that episode. That was a

April:

They were so funny and I was like, they were fangirling out and we're like, yo, you all are so cool. I'm like, I don't even know. I'm like, I just think that word as Amy and April doing our thing, just like hanging out with you too. I love hanging out with you. It's like, we're, we're friends. We're deep, like amazing soul sisters in my opinion. So thank you for having us again and I'm talking about our book. Stoke that you all, um, that you are, are proud of us too. We're proud of

Willow:

proud of you

Leah:

you know, by the way, for you listeners out there, if you want more of Amy and April, come and watch both of their episodes we did separately, we did one with April, all about the sex toy industry, she is an expert, it's fascinating, and then we did one with Amy, anal with Amy, um, so get your booty, um, all yummed out and listen to both those episodes.

April:

Speaking of which, Amy's mom just sent me in the mail as a surprise, a, um, unicorn, uh, tail, tailed butt plug. That's glass.

Willow:

It's glass

Amy & April:

Yeah. It's the plug part.

April:

Plug.

Willow:

then it has a tail in

April:

So then it has a tail that you can like clean it, but it's like this beautiful. Cause I was obsessed with my little ponies and we did an episode about anal. And I talked about, I just really would love to be a pretend my little Tony and stick a plug. And she's like, that was the last one that exists. They discontinued it. I got the very last plug, but it showed up in front of my partner's three step, my, my stepdaughters, but they're His three daughters, they're all over the age of 19, everyone almost 20 and then to 29. And I was like, what did I get from this company? And then I had been on a trip. I was in Idaho and I opened it up and I was like, no, like, what is that? I was like, this is a unicorn butt plug, everyone. And their boyfriends were there. And they're like, what? And then I like passed it around. It was. The most, I think like I was, that was the most shameless moment, but I don't do that in front of that. Like, I'm not like, Hey, look at my butt plug. Yeah. It make, at least it's not gently used.

Willow:

there and

Leah:

Yeah, yeah,

April:

Um, and they, they, they definitely loved it. So, um, thank you to your mom, Janice, pure pleasure shop. com everyone.

Willow:

Leave it to Janice

April:

it to Janice. Oh, you

Amy:

just, you wait, when you come on our show, you talk about some things, you're gonna get some special gifts. Oh yeah.

Willow:

yeah.

Leah:

You know, I've got a question for you. This is a question for me on a kinky podcast yesterday that I was being interviewed on. And they said, what's your preference, dildos that are shaped as penises or dildos that are fantastical in their myriad of shapes, everything from, you know, all the various exotic shapes that dildos and butt plugs come in. So I would pose that question to the two of you.

Amy:

So I'm not real. So, okay, this has changed a little bit. I used to say that I'm not really that into, um, inserting something in my, in my pussy, in my vulva, in my vagina, um, that is not human. Whereas when it comes to the butt, totally into it, all the plugs, all the beads, great. Um, but for some, I wasn't, wouldn't feel a lot from it. It was like it needed something else. And then, um, in the last it's like six months. What I look super horny, Amy solo play night and I was like, I need all the things. And so it was like, I'm going to use my vibrator on my clit and I'm going to try this other curve. Did you, did

April:

you suction it to the bathtub and like, no, I did not.

Amy:

It wasn't, it didn't have the suction. So it was, it was actually a vibrator, but I didn't put the vibrations on, but it had a curve. So it doesn't look like a penis. It doesn't look realistic, but it was curved up so it could get to the G spot G area. And so I'm like milking my, my, my G spot with that. And then I'm using the clitoral vibrator. Had a mind blowing orgasm. So my answer would be now that I actually am like, Oh, I kind of like those things, not, not realistic, but it still has a curve of some sort. Not too big, not too thick, but not too small. Just right. Like

Willow:

Just

Leah:

Yeah. Baby bears porridge. Just right.

April:

Interesting. I just really wanted to picture you, uh, on your bathtub with all these devices, suction, and like just backing up on it. April, I'll trade

Willow:

can you record a podcast while you're doing

Amy:

You know what? We're going to trade

Leah:

Tutorials, please. Yeah,

Amy:

We're going to trade photos of me doing that in exchange for April sending me a photo with her and the pony butt plugin. I think that's

April:

a fair trade. That's a fair

Willow:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you better send them to us,

April:

Yeah, we'll send them to you. I'm pretty sure I'm going to walk, uh, on the beach in Santa Cruz with my swimsuit bottoms on and have it hanging out of the back. That's, I think, my

Willow:

That'd kind of be like a Kimonami move,

Amy:

Oh, definitely. But like, it's like butt lifting instead

Willow:

Yeah, yeah, anal lifting.

April:

I could use my crotchless panties and put it in my vagina and have it just hang. Like I'm birthing.

Willow:

in between your thighs.

Amy:

got a dangler, a dangler. What about you with your dildos,

Willow:

Yeah, you'll get some attention, I'm sure. I'm sure. Oh my god.

Amy:

I'd look at that. I

April:

really won't do that, everyone. Why not? I'll think about it, though. So, for this question, um, To be honest, I've never been a big dildo user. I use sex toy after sex toy after sex toy. And I would say that if I had to choose, they're like the, the funny comical ones, like there's like, or the big fist one. Have you ever seen the big fist? It's actually like a hand, like those are just fun to look at. And then they have all these whimsical characters, that dragon company, they make all these like dragon characters and they're just like, they're like statement, yeah, they are, some of them look

Amy:

kind of pokey for your, yeah. And then they do,

April:

there was like a. Uh, like,

Willow:

to put a dragon in my vagina.

April:

I mean, it is the year of the, then there's also companies that make like Doc Johnson makes these, um, I think they still do these like comic book characters and I don't think they have the right. So they kind of change the names a little bit, but the incredible Hulky, you know, and it's like, uh, and they're hilarious. So I don't know if I want to insert that into my body. I'd be into inserting that in someone's body that wanted me to.

Leah:

Yeah, it's almost like it should be like a sex toy garden display. They're not things you really use, but they're things you admire and laugh at and, um, get inspiration from maybe.

April:

Yeah. Maybe they're just waiting there to be used someday because

Leah:

Some are practical, some are impractical.

Amy & April:

Mm hmm.

April:

I like the

Willow:

I'm still just a fan of the good old, uh, the honey dipper, the crystal wand. I like, I like the, my favorite combo is the honey dipper and the, um, the v fit, the infrared,

April:

Oh, the joy. Joy.

Willow:

the, the joylux, yeah.

April:

So that's the one I was talking about. That's what I use. With the imprint. I love that one

Willow:

And if you've got a mirror nearby, I mean, your pussy never looked hotter,

Amy & April:

I gave

April:

you that clitoral cupping device too. Remember the clitoral cupping device and you were like, I gave it to you and I was like, do

Willow:

that was a whole vulva cupping, and then, but it had the little tiny one for your clitoris. I did try it, it was, uh,

Amy:

Interesting. Yeah. I was just curious.

Willow:

if my vulva needs a lot of cupping at this point.

Amy:

Yeah. I actually was wishing when I use, I mean, I like the joy, the joy Lux, but when I did that whole thing with the clit vibe and the joy Lux, it kind of felt like there was a lot going on. And I wished I had the crystal one, which I don't have right now. Um, cause it's not huge and it's easier to maneuver with, I guess at the same, if you're using a, and then the ergonomic handle too. Yeah. It's good.

April:

Or enjoy those, enjoy the stainless

Amy:

steel version.

April:

They have little handles on the end too. Those are heavier. They can actually help with your pelvic floor strength because they have a good weight to them and they're stainless steel. So they warm up to your body temperature really nicely. It's a

Amy:

weapon if you need a weapon. And

April:

it is, they, they weigh quite a bit, but they do like that weight really does help. So I would say I don't consider that a dildo, but I guess it could be considered a dildo because it's like a dildo is like a non vibrating. Yeah.

Willow:

yeah, that's not vibrating,

April:

Those are cool. So it's like N and then joy. Um, those are cool. And there's like a, there's like a, isn't there like an anal hook?

Amy:

They don't make an anal hook now, but there's other brands that

Leah:

but they do a lot of like, um, anal butt plugs, right, with the, um,

Amy:

They're beautiful.

Leah:

that are metal weighty. I have one, I haven't used it yet. I don't know, there's something about the temperature and the weight, um, I think has stopped me from trying, but I think I shall push through that

April:

Just sit, just sit on it for a little bit. If you want something warm and it'll warm up. I mean, don't, you don't have to sit on it in your butt or just put it in

Leah:

hold it for a few minutes and it'll, metal will warm up, yeah,

April:

Yeah. And

Amy:

the weighted part for anal. I don't know if this applies to vaginal necessarily, but for, for anal actually can help you to hold it in better as long as there's a thin neck. The part that the neck is the part that goes through the anal canal. If it has a thick neck, that's a different story. That's not designed to stay in for a while without it, like, poppin it out.

April:

Yeah.

Leah:

Well, glad we covered that. So,

Amy:

in case,

Leah:

yeah, I'm kind of curious about what's in the book that, you know, is more of a vanilla nature, right? Something that is sort of light reading.

Amy:

um, the communication chapter, I think is, it is, it depends if you call that, but it's vanilla in that it applies to every single person.

April:

You could use it with conversating with your parents or something if you

Leah:

okay,

April:

but it's centered around difficult conversations around sex, but you could apply, it's called the connect formula. So that's an acronym that stands for what the connect formula is. And it's also Centered around communication and Amy's right. It is something that you can apply. We center it around sex, Amy and I developed that, um, together. And, um, then there's the small asks and big asks, which also could be applied to, you could use it at work, uh, but, uh,

Leah:

situation too, I imagine. Yeah.

April:

sorry. Say it again

Leah:

I was going to say, well, not only just any situation, you just mentioned you could use it at work as well as in the bedroom. Um, uh, yeah,

April:

We don't say that in the book because it's specific. I mean, you could though, you could apply those pieces and that's in chapter four, which is, um, our, you know, a pretty thick chapter. Yeah, because

Amy:

communication applies to every other part of the book. And then also, and so when you said the vanilla piece, like who, who in this world, Thinks that I'm the best communicator ever and I don't need to learn a thing about how to do it any differently. And if you are one of those people come talk to me, I don't believe you, but I've heard a couple of people and I don't believe you. I had someone

April:

tell

Amy:

me they were, they were healed that do of course, Willow, of course, again, the, you know, the teacher that doesn't ever have to learn anything else. And I think that it is just so applicable to, All aspects, like April said, in sex and outside of sex. So if you're vanilla or you're super hardcore kinky, that would all play.

April:

I met this dude, not the other day. One of my friend's partners, they're breaking up. Thank

Amy:

God.

April:

But he was, I was talking to him about something and I was like, Oh, like talking about therapy and, and different realms and, and reading books. And, um, he's like, well, I don't need any of that. I'm healed.

Willow:

Oh, hey now.

April:

Not going to

Amy:

fuck

April:

that guy in the future. I totally went a little, I went a little passive aggressive. I was like, wow, that must be so nice for you. I am a really, I like

Amy:

that you said that, but

April:

I was like, wow. I'm like, that's a true gift. And I was like, Fuckin full of shit, all of my radars were going, that's how I felt, I was like, wow, I'm going to flap like a drag queen for you, cause I'm like, no bro, who is healed? I was like, OMG. So I just had to bring that up because there are some people that do believe that they do not have any work to do.

Amy & April:

Uh uh.

Leah:

Yeah. And I think those people are just afraid of the work and it just kind of comes down to, um, having to, it's like a defense mechanism. I don't got nothing to heal.

Willow:

Yeah, it can be really hard to dive into this work and to, and especially if you've kind of done a lot of the deeper layers of it, you know, sometimes you do want to just be like, okay, can I just be healed, you know, and claim that. And I think there's power in that too. But yeah, there's Always more layers, there's always deeper to go. That is the whole premise of Tantra itself is expanding and evolving more and more and more and more and more beyond what you ever thought you could. And within that evolutionary full expansion, there's going to be contractions. And so, um, I think it's, It's hard though, if somebody is kind of going through a breakup or they're going through a tough time for, for, to want to look at those deeper layers again, cause it's, it can be a lot of work and it can drag up a lot of old emotions.

Leah:

Well, we probably also all know people whose path is just not going to be to be introspective in that way. Like, their path isn't to go to therapy. Their path isn't to, like, dig up the deep stuff. Like, that's just

Willow:

A lot of people.

Leah:

their, that's just not their thing. That's not what they're going to do. They don't relate to that.

April:

My mother asks why, when I tell her I go to therapy, she's like, why, what's wrong with you?

Willow:

right, right.

April:

And I'm like. Dude, I'm like, this is what's wrong

Leah:

Yeah, it's Yeah, ding, ding, ding. Um, so one of the things I know that you've designed the book on purpose is so that it can, it's good for a lot of different ages. It's not like it's just good for those of us who are in mid age, but it's also good for like teenagers. Yes, and also like people who may be in their 60s who are discovering the adventure of sex for the first time. Can you say a little bit more about that?

April:

if you're in a long term relationship or you are, you're a single or you're, um, I mean, honestly, I would be comfortable giving this to even when my youngest stepdaughter. I call her my step. I'm not married, but they are like, I love them so much. So when she was 15, I would have given this to her. Now she's 19. Um, and the girls do all have copies, but I don't know if they read them. I don't need to, um, like micromanage their reading, but I felt, and they have this different, um, 19, 25, 29 and different perspectives. And they do ask a lot of questions and I'm like, Check out the book and, and they have, um, the oldest one has come back and so like, Oh, that's awesome. And then can I have another resource on this? And then I think, I mean, I'm in my 41, uh, you're in your late thirties, Amy. And I would, if I didn't write the book, I would still buy that book and read it. And then my mom, Bless her heart. Um, and I love her to death. Uh, she read it and she, there was some things that she was triggered by, um, that's

Amy:

probably the personal stories about

April:

you, the personal stories. Um, and, but she said, she's like, I am really grateful for what you put out and I'm really proud of you.

Willow:

she proud of you?

April:

She was proud. And, um, she's like, I'm so proud of you and Amy. And so I think like, and she's in her sixties. And so, yes. And, and if you have an open mind, I think you, you will benefit from it.

Amy:

And aside from her being proud, deep down, she, you know, that some proud people don't admit, like, I learned things from it, or, but it applies. Like you all, you said in April said too. All ages, you know, regardless of whatever your age is, maybe certain chapters, and it's not about age though. Certain chapters or parts will not apply to you based on just where your life is at, but that could change. You never know where you are going to be, whether it's even with the same, the partner you're with now, or if you're single, if you're single now, and all of a sudden you have a partner. The everything's changing, everything is a different day. And so you might have a new obstacle or it's not just obstacles, right? It's also room with desires. Like, you know, there's the things that are like, this is hard. There's also the, I want the fun stuff. And that could be applicable from 15 to 80. What about

April:

medications? We talk about medications because the sex as being the largest, you know, the

Amy:

doctors, we're not doctors. Yeah,

April:

no, no, it's not. I mean, but we do have research, um, uh, some research in there as well, um, backing up the statements and the thing was, and we had cross check, you have cross checkers right on all of this stuff. So it's accurate information. It's not just like, Hey Siri, tell me about who, right. It's a, it's actually, um, quite researched. And, um, there were just pieces of, of information from doctors about what SSRIs do to, which is, are depressing, um, anti depressant when you're depressive, uh, depressive, uh, depressed, you take SSRIs. Uh, your genitals and your arousal, uh, on, and there's a lot of people on SSRIs, nothing wrong with that, they serve a purpose, however, um, you could also have some sort of, um, You have a mobility issue, blood pressure. Yes. Yes. Um, beta, beta blockers, um, all of those pieces affect your, uh, they can affect your arousal. They can affect your libido, birth control. So we, we can't address every single thing, but there is a section, um, with some accredited doctors that we trust about, um, how to maybe maneuver through that. And of course, it does come down to a lot of this stuff, especially when it in terms of health, um, and I hope that changes at some point in the United States, but you do need to invest sometimes and out of pocket because a hormone replacement therapy, intimate health, isn't necessarily covered by doctors and, um,

Leah:

or health insurance.

April:

Yeah. Or yeah, thank you. Uh, health insurance and, um, yeah, paying out of pocket is, is that it's expensive and costly, and so sometimes the doctors won't even give you, um, the, the Western medicine. And I know Willow, um, has her, you know, your, like what you do is amazing. And I do believe in Eastern medicine so much. Um, and we, Didn't tap into that because that could be a whole nother book, right?

Amy:

It's in there a little bit. It's in there a little bit. Yeah, it is in there a little bit. We have a, we have a part when it comes to, um, you know, wanting to learn to be like a better lover. There's a whole part on Tantra and, um, you know, We did

April:

give Willow a huge section. It did. They like edited it down and we were like,

Amy:

They, oh, they cut it. They cut Willow. They cut those fuckers. And we were like,

Willow:

out? God, that would

Amy:

God.

Willow:

book I was ever mentioned in.

April:

Not all of it. They did where Tantra could be so long and we couldn't really do that. Um,

Willow:

Well, Shameless Sex Part Two. Choose your own sacred sexology

Leah:

yeah,

Amy:

go. Perfect. And you guys are going to write the book for us. Yes.

Willow:

there you go.

Leah:

um, do you have a favorite chapter?

Amy:

Um, I, I absolutely love the, I think it's chapter seven, which is the, I like, I like the fun stuff because, well, it's fun, but I love it because what we did with it is chapter seven, right? Yes. How can I have, yeah. How can I have a hotter, steamier, um, and more connected sex life? What I love about it is that we go through not all aspects of sexuality, but all the ways, or a lot of the ways that people seem Spice up their sex life. So we have this whole part on Tantra, on kink, um, on anal sex, all kinds of things that are outside of like the standard, like the missionary, the penis in the vagina. And I just, I loved writing that because that is, I don't know, I can't speak for April, but I feel like that's where we really shine. We're really good at like, here's all the how tos, all the things you can try. It can be so much fun. I'm like a little kid writing it.

Leah:

Yeah, bringing the joy to sex.

April:

joy to sex and sex hopefully can be joyful for most. I love, so I, I do enjoy the reading that chapter. I also like the introduction and then the shameless sex philosophy, because there's a lot of really funny, uh, and it's kind of like what to expect from the book, but then our philosophy, it's like, you should stop shooting yourself is one of like the, the subtext titles, because we were going through the should and should nots that people do. They, they, they. They go through those things in life, like I should be having sex with my partner all the time. I should be orgasming. I shouldn't have too many partners. I should, right? So there's all of these things

Leah:

So many of those.

April:

are, and we're like, you should stop shitting yourself. Maybe this should be the last

Leah:

think I've had all those shoulds you just mentioned. Yeah.

April:

did as well. And so, um, and it just gives you a great, I think, feeling and vibe of what you're going to expect. I know a lot of times when I read books and it could be my ADHD squirreling out, um, consistently, but I get so bored in the prologue and the, and the, I'm like, okay, get to the point. Can I flip to the next chapter? But I,

Willow:

end of the book,

Leah:

Stop describing the room.

April:

Yeah. But we, we don't, we sort of give you what to expect and just kind of let you know who we are. And, and then chapter seven is awesome. And, and honestly, chapter eight, super short. It's it's a, the last, the last chapter, um, but it gives you those just proactive tools to take with you. And there's some forward. Yeah. The, the, where you can come back anytime and keep that, that, uh, the logs and the fire of your, um, sexuality and your desire and how to keep those logs lit and burning and, and not turn into smoke and, and coal. Dun, dun, dun!

Leah:

yourself toasty, people. Yeah. Well, this was so fun. Yeah, we love, we love having you. We always have so many fun conversations, and we just, we go all over the place, and it's a treasure.

Amy:

Feelings mutual. We're excited to do it again with y'all on our show. And I'm still going with this idea for the Naked Pool Party podcast. I'm

April:

down. You have a pool, though?

Willow:

Leah's.

Amy:

Yeah! Oh!

Willow:

It'll be super hot.

Amy:

Yeah.

Leah:

yeah, and now, um, although, you know, what's interesting is I'm actually have a hair appointment in Santa Cruz around that date, but I can reschedule it so y'all can come up

Amy:

Or we

Leah:

Um, or we can film

Amy:

pool. Yeah, I know a pool. I have a pool too. It's the public pool. Just kidding. It's not.

April:

My partner's ex wife has a really nice pool. I can ask her if we could use it.

Amy:

Ooh, ex wife. What's up? She cool. I love her.

Leah:

there will be a pool episode in our future, y'all, so, uh, stay tuned for that and, uh, check out the episodes that feature Willow and I, and there's a couple with just Willow on the Shameless Sex podcast. Um, we'll have all the links in the show notes for you to buy the book and check out their show and their website and all the incredible work that they're doing. I believe you guys have started some retreats for women, yeah, in Mexico?

Amy:

Yep. We'll be in Tulum. It's our second one and we're aiming to do them twice a year. We probably will do a couples one at some point or all genders, probably couples, all genders. It sounds like an orgy. Um, but yes, we're doing those two in beautiful places.

April:

Yeah.

Leah:

right, right on. coming up next is The Dish with myself and Dr. Willow. Please stay tuned and with that, love, love, love, love, love, shameless sex, girls! Amy and April.

Willow:

Ciao.

Announcer:

Now, our favorite part, the dish.

Leah:

Dish time! Dish with April and Amy, the shameless sex legends.

Willow:

That was fun. We always have lots of laughs when we get together with those

Leah:

girls. We do. It's so fun. It's like, it's like we just, we go all over the place.

Willow:

Sometimes I wonder what the listeners, you know, what, what's going on for y'all out there? Like, write in and let us know. Do you enjoy these episodes where we're just bantering away and going all over the place? Or would you like us to be a little bit more on point?

Leah:

Specific. Right, right, right, right. A little more centered. And plus, like, we all talk so fast. I mean, those two girls, and me especially, talk fast. The

Willow:

3 of you. Yeah. I'm like, I'm lucky if I can get a word in. I think I said one thing in that episode, which is totally fine. I don't care.

Leah:

Yeah, well, it was exciting to hear about their book and hear about the book

Willow:

journey. I'm so Proud of them. I remember when they started this podcast, I was on their very first season. Um, way back, I think it's six years ago now, I want to say, and I just remember it was like, it was a dark, stormy, rainy night in Santa Cruz, rainy afternoon. It felt like the middle of the night and went over to April's apartment that she was renting at the time. And, and we just sat there and talked about Taoist sexology and, uh, it was really fun. And I think I was on their show every year since. So maybe I've skipped one year, maybe two years or something. Can't remember, but. You and

Leah:

well, we'll, uh, we'll make sure that those episodes are in the show notes, the ones that you were on. I think you did one. What were the topics? Do you remember?

Willow:

I was always around Taoist sexology. What is Taoist sexology? How do you use your, um, your lunar cycle, your relationship to your menstrual cycle, your relationship to the moon cycle to create a better, healthier relationship with your sexuality, which is what I'm always talking about.

Leah:

And we did an episode on cervical orgasms and sort of transcendent pleasure, kind of the cosmos going to the cosmos when it comes to pleasure and climaxes. What are we talking about with them next on their show? Have you talked to them about our topic?

Willow:

No, what should we talk about? Listeners out there, what would you like us to talk about with them?

Leah:

I really want to talk more about male sexuality and, you know, some of the mastery that men can kind of take themselves further into, some of the techniques for them to become more multi orgasmic and separating orgasm from ejaculation. Thought that would be a fun topic. I also, um, I also, uh, thought about something on the pattern types, which is probably something they don't have anything

Willow:

but I probably don't have anything on that. Yeah,

Leah:

strategies

Willow:

should talk about that.

Leah:

yeah,

Willow:

Mm hmm. Yeah.

Leah:

Uh, those were a couple things I had floating around. I think also it might be fun to talk about the difference between Tantra and Taoist sexology. Um, so that people have a reference for there's all sorts of different, um, traditions, ancient traditions that have to do with sex and how they complement each other, how they're different, and also like how they are the same.

Willow:

Yeah, that'd be great. Lots of good ideas for sure. Yeah, I like, I like their, um, it's so fun how they did this whole choose your own pleasure pathway thing that I'm like, Hey, we just did that too. You know, I had no idea that's what their book was about as they were writing. And I was like, what, what are you guys writing about? Is it like your stories? And they would always say like, Oh, no, our stories are boring. I'm like, oh, come on. No stories are boring.

Leah:

You know, I was thinking about today that, um, those trainings that we've put together, which I want to tell people a little bit more about, were in terms of like, you know, being on the theme of Choose Your Own Adventure. We've got one series, and so you'll be able to go to the website, um, sexreimagined. com, and, uh, you'll, Click on the whole choose your own adventure section and you'll be able to choose Three different categories and you'll get multiple trainings. Each category has like three to four. I think one even has five trainings one category in terms of adventure is Obstacles, right? The things that you are wanting to overcome when it comes to pleasure and sex. Another one is those who are interested in sexual healing. And then we have one that's on intimacy. So you should check that out. And I think if you want all three adventures, it's like seven bucks, nine bucks, something like that. Um, so get a bundle for

Willow:

free. So many amazing resources out there, y'all. So many amazing free resources and so many really wonderful affordable resources. And then you can always take yourself deeper with deeper, bigger trainings with, you know, our work. The shameless sex girls and, um, there's just an abundance of learning to be had. When it comes to your sexuality, I was working with a male client the other day and he's like, I am a 40 year old man and I don't know any of this stuff. I was working with a 62 year old woman the other day and she was like, I have never learned any of this stuff. I mean, there's just no. So much that we don't know when we don't know what we don't know. And so dive in, get your feet wet. If you're like looking at our freebie and you're like, I already know all this stuff. I want something more. Reach out to us and let us know because we've got a vast, vast cornucopia of information to share with y'all.

Leah:

Um, so go out there and pick up Shameless Sex, the book

Willow:

Get the audio book. I want to get the audio book. I want to hear them read it.

Leah:

Yeah, I know. It'll be fun to hear them read

Willow:

Yeah.

Leah:

Yeah. Alright, have a beautiful day. Love, love, love.

Announcer:

Thanks for tuning in. This episode was hosted by Tantric Sex Master Coach and Positive Psychology Facilitator, Leah Piper, as well as by Chinese and Functional Medicine Doctor and Taoist Sexology Teacher, Dr. Willow Brown. Don't forget, your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.

People on this episode

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Dr. Willow Brown

Host
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Leah Piper

Host
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Amy Baldwin

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April Lampert

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